So I get a call at 2am. . .

RobNCyn Posted: Aug 08, 2009 10:08 AM

So I get a call at 2am. . .

And I have to get up from a deep sleep to pick up my sick (drunk) FH!!! His bachelor party was 2 wks ago - shouldn't he have been done with this crap then?!?!?!

Should i be expecting this kind of behavior to continue after we are married?? He doesn't do it a lot, this is the 3rd time in 3yrs. He's 28 - do you ladies have these kinds of problems?? I feel like he needs to grow up and getting this drunk is so immature for his age. Am I wrong??

Thanks . . .I had to rant!!

MrsKtoBe Posted: Aug 08, 2009 10:24 AM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

Eek... umm... IMHO nothing changes after you get married. what you have now is what you will have then plus extra stresses (more bills, kids etc).

I think every couple sets different boundaries. So, for some girls this would be worth a hell-raising argument, for others they would say 'if its once a year, let it go'. But without an argument, my guess is its 99% going to keep happening once a year, whether its worth arguing about is totally up to you.

good luck, hope i helped

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Aug 08, 2009 10:37 AM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

FH and I are drinkers...We love to go out with friends and hang out...But as far as drinking to the point where one us needs to be picked up is VERY rare.

But I don't mind it given the alternative

KerriJohnS Posted: Aug 08, 2009 11:40 AM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

Well... I personally think that they should be able to go out once ina while.... as should I . I think it's important to maintain your friendships while you are married. I don't think that your life outside the marriage has to end once you get married.

So personally I wouldn't get too worked up over it... especially if this happens every once in a while.

Also, its good that he called you and didnt attempt to drive. AND.... if he was out drinking... what was he doing driving in the first place? I'm a little confused with that part. Even if he didn't plan on getting that drunk... he shouldn't really be driving if he is drinking.... and esp if he is drunk.... at any stage of drunkeness.

If you didn't want to be woken up to pick him up... then perhaps you should have a discussion about other options when this occurs. Like him calling a cab instead of calling you.

Also, yes I think this would continue after you are married. Unless you have a talk with him about it AND he wan'ts that to end. But really... if it's ONCE A YEAR.... he may not even want to end the once a year drunk fest.

HappyBride22 Posted: Aug 08, 2009 11:47 AM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

As long as he doesnt do it all of the time it is fine, and as annoying as it is I would rather be the one to pick him up then have him either try to drive home himself or have one of his drunk firends take him home. When this becomes the norm , not the exception you might have to take a look and think harder about what you are getting yourself into.

MrsZtoBe Posted: Aug 08, 2009 11:48 AM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

I am right there with you. I am not and have never been a big drinker.

In this case, once a year really isn't that bad. (IMO) In the alternative of him calling you up to come get him- my DH used to 'sleep it off' at his friend's house until 4 or 5am and THEN come home.

Of the two scenarios- I think yours is better. If you need to talk more, FM me. This was a huge issue for us in the beginning.

HTH!

MrsGRod09 Posted: Aug 08, 2009 11:59 AM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

As long as he doesn't do it all the time i wouldn't mind. I would be a little pissed that i had to get up but i rather be the one driving him so he can come home instead of staying out somewhere with who knows who.

gina409 Posted: Aug 08, 2009 12:57 PM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

Posted by GRod2Be

As long as he doesn't do it all the time i wouldn't mind. I would be a little pissed that i had to get up but i rather be the one driving him so he can come home instead of staying out somewhere with who knows who.

ita anything better than him driving himself or getting in a car with someone who has

babsbeark Posted: Aug 08, 2009 06:02 PM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

Maybe that is his way to deal with the wedding stress

Celeste617 Posted: Aug 08, 2009 07:29 PM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

As others have said, better that he called than tried to make the trip himself in a sorry state.
With regards to if things will change, I'd say only if it's discussed and he wants it to change. DH used to get so trashed sometimes that he'd have to crash at his buddy's place. Over the years though, even without my comments, he has learned that he doesn't like getting like that so he doesn't drink to that point anymore. But like I said, he has to want to change.

StaceYums81 Posted: Aug 08, 2009 07:33 PM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

I would say don't stress over it, its not something he's doing every week and he did the right thing by calling you for a ride...

RobNCyn Posted: Aug 08, 2009 10:27 PM

Re: So I get a call at 2am. . .

Thank you ladies for all of your advice and I'm glad I am not the only one who has an FH who does this.

And just for the record:
He walked to the bar with his friends, so he would not have been driving - he does know better than that, he purposely does not take his car so he can't drive drunk.
And you are all correct, I would rather him wake me up and call me then have him try to get home in an unsafe way - I just wanted to check with you ladies that you didn't think he's taking advantage or anything.

I also agree that this is his way of dealing with the stress - I just wish he could talk to me about what is stressing or bothering him.