and it's black tie.....I'm a bit annoyed because now DH has to rent a tux, in addition to the wedding gift we have to give. They are DH's cousin's kids....This couple did not go to our wedding, but sent a gift (well, the cousin gave a gift FOR them, if you know what I mean), the same for my shower. So I feel we kinda have to go, but what's the dealio with the black tie? It's at the Royaltun Roslyn County Club on a Sat. night......is this super-fancy or something?? Does this mean I have to buy a floor-length gown as well? Or can I get away with a regular black cocktail dress?
Kara and Todd
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Re: So, I get this wedding invitation......
Women can get away with a lot at a black tie affair. A black cocktail dress should be fine. FH went to a black tie affair about 8 months ago and said he saw women in everything from just cocktail dresses to gowns -- most in cocktail dresses. (And this was some 'high society' fundraiser that his friend dragged him to) Just dress it up with some nice jewelry and maybe wear your hair up or something.
If I were you, I would NOT go out and buy a ball gown in addition to having to rent a tux for FH. I would also ask around to the rest of the family to see what they are doing/wearing. Black tie is a lot of ask of people!
hmpena
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You should be fine with a black cocktail dress. As for the tux, if DH really doesn't want to rent one, then I think he would be fine wearing a nice black suit.
Kara and Todd
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Posted by hmpena
You should be fine with a black cocktail dress. As for the tux, if DH really doesn't want to rent one, then I think he would be fine wearing a nice black suit.
I'd also bet he won't be the only one not in a tux!
kimnsteve
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i am going to a black tie next month and i got a gown ...thats just what i was told when i asked if i should get one or not ...but it is a good friend so i figured i should dress up a lil bit more...my Fh was aggravated also that he had to rent a tux but what are ya gonna do?
Kara and Todd
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I'm curious - did the invite say 'black tie' or 'formal reception'?
libby2595
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Posted by hmpena
You should be fine with a black cocktail dress. As for the tux, if DH really doesn't want to rent one, then I think he would be fine wearing a nice black suit.
ditto.
especially because a lot of tuxedos look like suits nowadays.
black is ALWAYS the right color when you're not sure what to do.
hth
laural2979
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Re: So, I get this wedding invitation......
Posted by hmpena
You should be fine with a black cocktail dress. As for the tux, if DH really doesn't want to rent one, then I think he would be fine wearing a nice black suit.
I agree, a nice black suit should be just fine. I don't think there's any reason to spend the extra money on renting a tux.
leighdvm
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Posted by Kara and Todd
I'm curious - did the invite say 'black tie' or 'formal reception'?
'black tie'. Unfortunately, Anthony's 'nice' suit is dark blue, so either way, we're screwed......we just bought a house and money is a bit tight at the moment.....
Kara and Todd
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Posted by leighdvm
Posted by Kara and Todd
I'm curious - did the invite say 'black tie' or 'formal reception'?
'black tie'. Unfortunately, Anthony's 'nice' suit is dark blue, so either way, we're screwed......we just bought a house and money is a bit tight at the moment.....
In this situation, I don't think there is anything inproper about spending less on a wedding gift than you normally would - due to the added expense. I would get them something on the inexpensive side off of the registry or give less at the wedding.
Also, definitely ask family and friends if they are wearing suits or tuxes - You never know, a lot of times people will just wear suits and not tuxes!
Tiggeruth
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I am not so sure you really need to rent a tux. FH and I went to a black tie wedding this summer and he rented a tux but really the place (of about 200 guests) was only 25% in tuxes. Everyone looked ncie in suits (and I dont think people were even all wearing black suits) and I dont think they were out of place.
Sometimes I think that people say black tie just to insure that everyone looks appropriate.
KvsGrl
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Re: So, I get this wedding invitation......
For women, I would say a floor-length or cocktail-length dress in a dark color is acceptable. For men, although a tux is preferred, a black suit is perfectly acceptable!
I think your gift should always depend on whatever your situation is. If money is tight, then you can only do the best you can. However, I don't think that it is ok to give less of a gift just because you are asked to wear a tux. JMHO
I had to chuckle when I read this bc I can see me saying your exact words...What's up with this!? If they didn't go to your shower or your wedding then I would save myself the tuxedo rental headache and money and not go. Send them a gift.
It may sound mean but FH dosen't just have to rent a tux...you have to get a ball gown!
Trishthedish
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Posted by JIFFY
I had to chuckle when I read this bc I can see me saying your exact words...What's up with this!? If they didn't go to your shower or your wedding then I would save myself the tuxedo rental headache and money and not go. Send them a gift.
It may sound mean but FH dosen't just have to rent a tux...you have to get a ball gown!
I couldn't have said this better myself!! This is what I was thinking the whole time I was reading this post..
CKJ906
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The black cocktail dress for you should be fine. Your DH doesnt have to wear a tux. Does he have a dark suit? Let him wear that, I wouldn't go out and have him rent a tux.
Boston&NY2006
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I went to a wedding about a year ago at the WEstchester Country Club that was 'Black Tie Preferred' (whatever the hell that means). Very few of the guests were actually in tuxes. My DH wore a black suit and didn't look out of place at all. I wore a black cocktail dress and definitely fit right in. I almost felt as if the women in gowns looked a little out of place...
Kara and Todd
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I almost felt as if the women in gowns looked a little out of place...
I felt that way about all the black tie affairs I've attended over the past few years. Evenw hen all of the men are wearing tuxes, VERY few of the women actually wear ball gowns. Those that do generally look overdressed and out of place.
I think the black cocktail dress will be fine. I highly doubt all the women there will be in ball gowns!
nifheim
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I went to a wedding at the swan club three months ago and it was black tie. Most men wore black NICE suits and girls wore cocktail dresses. I wore a beaded gown and the guy who asked me to go with him rented a tux and he said never again. White tie is now the old black tie from what i gathered.
lucite
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Most guys wear dark suits. Maybe DH can buy a white tie to dress up the suit. Most black tie I've been to the men don't show up in tuxes, but the women did have gowns on.
R&J0806
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IMO, I don't like black tie. Essentially, it obligates guests to spend $$$ on top of a gift. In this case and most often, a tux. But women can get away without a ball gown for a black tie party. A black knee-length dress should do the trick.
DH and I have a black tie 'preferred' wedding (a little better, but i still don't like it) this weekend. He's going to wear his suit but he'll probably get grief from his dad for not wearing a tux. oy!
