So I have been thinking a while for how I wanted to say this

and here is my best shot. I am, by my own admission, completely addicted to this website. I started using it as a planning tool but more than that now, have discovered the joy of encountering people who share my hopes and concerns, and more often than not, who have shared some of the joys and frustrations of planning this big event. I have found that I have gained insights and ideas from people spending $5000 on their day as well as people spending $150,000 on their day. In fact, I find it thrilling that we so clearly transcend our basic demographic (of how much money is involved) and are instead about support and sharing each other.

Recently, I have watched several discussions degenerate into attacks and I wonder what could prompt this level of passion. From what I have seen, we are a group of powerful, independent, smart women many with careers, some with families, and all with weddings to plan. It occurs to me that there are much better ways to handle having different opinions than with vitriol. To be clear, I too have my list of people who post that I find unpleasant, patronizing, and even obnoxious. For the most part, as I do when I encounter unpleasant people in life, I laugh, try to clarify, and move on. Rarely, I have become involved as I thought it was appropriate. But, even in those instances, if you read what I wrote, I think I have tried to balance being constructive without being unpleasant.

I guess what I am trying to say is I have another year to go on this site and I look forward to spending it with you amazing ladies. I hope to leave my wedding with new friends and compatriots, and I would hope that by treating each other with dignity and respect, we could all do the same.

Please forgive me if this reads as preachy or patronizing -- that not my intention. It is like your mother always told you, 'think before you speak.' Well, in this virtual world, I just want us to think before we write.

Cheers, Deb