So mad...Vent...(long)

luvsun27 Posted: Feb 06, 2004 11:39 AM

So mad...Vent...(long)

Ok...I usually don't vent on here...but I'm so mad. FH is divorced...has a child that lives with the mother (we call her 'Abby'...short for ABNORMAL). Anyway...things are difficult because she is such a beotch all the time. He picks up the child every-other weekend. So...last week was our turn, but Abby asked if we could take her turn this weekend because she had somewhere to go. No problem...we love having her around. So, anyway...now she is on this kick where there is no more swtiching and she wants to spend more quality time with the child. The child got a bad report card...so FH gave Abby a talking to about doing homework with her and stuff (she is 7). She is supposed to be the FG at the wedding. She's so excited...we got her dress, shoes and stuff.

Ok...the problem...is that because Abby is making this difficult, when I count out the weeks that we have her...it is not our turn for the weekend of my shower or the wedding! This woman has not been easy to deal with from day one. FH wants to have custody...which is fine with me...but I wanted to wait until after the wedding is over to pursue any legal action. Gosh...I can't believe she is going to do this to me. Sorry so long...just needed to let it out! Thanks.

SReidy Posted: Feb 06, 2004 11:48 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

I'm sorry Is there any way to 'alternate' the alternate weekends now that you had her 2 weeks in a row? Try working something out with 'Abby' ( I like that nickname BTW!!)

bethsiar Posted: Feb 06, 2004 11:50 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

first - what a nice nickname, I would call her something else

But all I can say is I cant' see how anyone could do this to you, so I am sure it will work out.

PrincessRose Posted: Feb 06, 2004 11:52 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

Wow, that's really tough. Good luck - maybe if your stepdaughter talks to Abby about how much she wants to be in the wedding, she'll concede?

Donna Posted: Feb 06, 2004 11:54 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

Have you asked Abby yet? She may agree because I don't think any mother would want to deliberately hurt her daughter. I bet she is so excited about being FG and the wedding. If it was me regardless I felt about my ex, I wouldn't hurt my daughter.

Good luck!

luvsun27 Posted: Feb 06, 2004 11:54 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

This woman causes so much trouble...FH and his attorney think there will be no issues if he pursues custody...but I don't want to do this before the wedding...I want to wait til after. Let her finish school this year, etc. There is so many things that lead up to this...I could write a book.

PS. We do have another nickname for her...but I couldn't post it here since we can't use foul language

ETS: She uses the daughter to get what she wants...MONEY. FH pays her child support weekly...to help her out, rather than monthly. The child never gets any new clothes (unless we buy them), new toys, games, etc. Abby called the other day...can you send the child support early I have to pick up my perscription at the drug store. Um...NO...the child support is not for your perscription...it's for the child!

luvsun27 Posted: Feb 06, 2004 11:57 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

Posted by Donna

Have you asked Abby yet? She may agree because I don't think any mother would want to deliberately hurt her daughter. I bet she is so excited about being FG and the wedding. If it was me regardless I felt about my ex, I wouldn't hurt my daughter.

Good luck!

Abby hates me...she knows the child wants to be in the wedding...and yes, she would keep her from it. She is not a nice lady...even her parents don't like her!

Jax430 Posted: Feb 06, 2004 12:08 PM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. She sounds like a real pain in the you know what. I hope you can get things to work out. Good luck

butterfly20 Posted: Feb 06, 2004 12:43 PM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

im so sorry...
i would say to guarantee having the daughter those two weekends, maybe you should have your lawyer get a court order allowing those two weekends... i wouldnt trust the ladys word..

Maribelle7777 Posted: Feb 07, 2004 12:17 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

You really don't think she'll let the daughter go to her own father's wedding?

It sounds like she figured out when the wedding and shower were and that they were the same weekends she had her and that's why she's being such a stickler now about switching weekends.

I'm sure your FH will talk to the ex and try to work something out. Sounds like the ex is jealous and wants to put the child in the middle. God - don't you just want to tell people to let it go already??!??

I hope she changes her mind for you soon

kathleenmarie Posted: Feb 07, 2004 08:26 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

luvsun27 Posted: Feb 07, 2004 09:04 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

Posted by butterfly20

im so sorry...
i would say to guarantee having the daughter those two weekends, maybe you should have your lawyer get a court order allowing those two weekends... i wouldnt trust the ladys word..

Unfortunately...there's nothing the lawyer can do. You can't get a court order because to let her go is a 'moral obligation', not a legal one. The judge will basically say...'you should have planned your wedding on a weekend that was your turn'.

luvsun27 Posted: Feb 07, 2004 09:05 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

Posted by Maribelle7777

You really don't think she'll let the daughter go to her own father's wedding?

Yes...I really think she would keep her away even if it hurts the child.

jennbaby Posted: Feb 07, 2004 09:35 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

Did your FH ask her yet? He should ask now & see what she says.

mich Posted: Feb 07, 2004 09:39 AM

Re: So mad...Vent...(long)

Oh gosh- that must be so stressful. I think you or FH need to talk to Abby and explain that it is important for her to be at the shower and wedding and maybe you can switch weekends.