I joke around that ever since my breakup with my ex Im totally dead inside. I feel kinda no emtoion...more existing then living, and trust has become a huge issue in my life, with men, and friends in general. With every situation I feel a sense of looming disappointment in my mind yet cant seem to get past it. If you were hurt in the past, how did u get over the jadedness and did you ever act like your true self again? I now feel like with every guy I meet, Im not the real me cause Im scared to open up and just be who I am cause evidently the last time who I was, wasnt good enough....
jenny2penny
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nov04LIbride
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
I think this happens with any loss. Even when in love, anything can happen, any day. Imagine those who lost their husbands or wives on 9/11, and had to move on, many with children...I think there has to be an attitude shift, but I think that before finding someone to love you, you need to love yourself and be happy with yourself. You can't make your self worth dependent on any man. Be happy with your life and who you are, and it will become easier to share yourself. Find what you love to do with friends, in your spare time...
That said, I would be wary of entering into a new relationship. There's nothing wrong with trying to figure out whether the guy just wants a fling or a relationship. And in terms of your breakup, I went through a rough breakup with my boyfriend of 5 years before my DH. I'm just thankful that I didn't have any baggage--I am so glad we didn't marry, then realize it was a mistake and divorce, or god forbid bring a child into this world knowing we were not right for one another...
Good luck, it is a tough world for singles out there.
usuk2004
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
I agree. I totally know the feeling. After the break up of a LTR, I felt so exhausted, like I didn't even want to take the time it would take to get to know someone again.
but, it does get better. You'll find someone that you can open up to again. You're still healing and still getting over it.
It just takes time!
And, even though I consider myself particularly jaded, being with the right person helps to lift a lot of the cynicism away too. This is a silly example, but just last weekend when we were visiting NY, DH was so excited about the snow (it doesn't snow much here in London and he just loves it), that it got me really excited about it too. WE went sledding with my aunt and 13 year old cousin and it was like we were the kids!
12-3Princess
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
time is definitely the answer .. . . . it will just slowly get easier and easier . . .even though right now you feel like you will never be in that happy place again...
now here's the silly thing i've noticed that everyone will probably laugh at.... however long you are with someone, i've personally noticed that it takes about half that time to really get over them.
so like, if you were with someone for 3 years, you'll probably find yourself most fully recovered from it like 1 and a half years later. . .. i mean, you'll slowly get over it faster, but you'll be really over it in 1.5 years. anyway, laugh all you want, but i've noticed it for myself and for all of my friends!
anyway, of course there's no set formula, this is just an observation of mine.
Danielle
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
I know how you feel.
It's not your fault! You seem like a really great person. They say time heals all wounds. I just hope they are right!
LoriH
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
I felt this way after a really messy breakup with a guy who turned out to be a complete a$$. I decided to work on me but not for him or anyone else. I went back to school, made new friends and started going to the gym again. With time I got better.
It's tough to go through but I would trade any of the crap I've been through in life. I am a much better and stronger person for it.
Kathy116
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
Time, time and more time. I don't really have any other advice except that time will heal your wounds and you'll be able to look back on this relationship as a learning process.
BriBri529
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
Posted by jenny2penny
one word......Time.
You'll start to get back to yourself. And when you meet a nice guy you will want to be yourself around him!
Edit: DON'T YOU DARE SAY YOU WERE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! You are great the way you are, sometimes 2 people are not made for eachother, don't devalue your self of find fault cause the relationship did not work
This is how it happened for me
OSCARtheGROOM
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
Posted by BriBri529
Posted by jenny2penny
one word......Time.
You'll start to get back to yourself. And when you meet a nice guy you will want to be yourself around him!
Edit: DON'T YOU DARE SAY YOU WERE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! You are great the way you are, sometimes 2 people are not made for eachother, don't devalue your self of find fault cause the relationship did not work
This is how it happened for me
Thats right.
jantany26
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
Michi, all I have to say is that time heals all wounds and I always reiterate this so much, things do happen for a reason and God always has a bigger plan. I'm certain that your soulmater is out there for you. Sometimes things just happen, when you least expect them and you have to be open and let yourself go.
nov04LIbride
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Re: So now that Im dead inside lol...
How was the online thing going? One of my good friends at work met her boyfriend on match.com in October and they are already talking marriage. It's funny, they look like twins too!
