So Sad - What do I say?

So Sad - What do I say?

I just got off the phone with a good friend of mine who had to cancel plans for Thursday night. As she explained it, more than just inviting us over for dinner, her and her husband were going to give us the good news that they were pregnant (they have been trying for over a year and got pregnant this time through atrificial insemination). Well, she lost the baby last week at 10 weeks and had to have a DNC which she said was very painful and she is not doing very well. I didn't know what to say and I just went and bought her a thinking of you card, but what do I say??? I mean, telling them everything will be okay and they'll get pregnant again just doesn't seem appropriate. Anyone have any suggestions?

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

I would keep it very simple and just write in the card 'you are very sorry.'
And let her know that you are there if she needs you for anything.

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

I'm so sorry for you friend! Having had a miscarriage myself at 9 weeks back in Sept, I can only tell you from my own point of view, that there are really no words to say that will totally comfort her. Her knowing that you are there for her is a comfort on its own. When you go through that, your head knows one thing, but your heart tells you something different, and you only go by that at the time. It will take her a couple of months to be back to normal -- whatever 'normal' is. It never goes away -- I have to tell you that not a day goes by that I don't think of it. As a matter of fact, I'm pregnant right now, but I'm thinking of how I would've been 9 months pregnant now. You do get over it, but it's always there.

I'm sorry I rambled and my heart goes out to your friend! Just be there for her when she needs you!

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

Send her a card that says 'Thinking of You'. Sometimes just knowing someone cares is all that matters since words cannot really help. Also, consider making her a dinner and dropping it off. Sometimes not having to worry about cooking can take a bit of stress off someone, and it shows that you care. Also, don't ignore what happened. Tell her you are ready to listen if and when she needs you.

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. We have friends who have miscarried twice and I didn't know what to say either but I just said I am so sorry and gave her a huge hug. Just let them know if they need anything, you're there.

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

Thanks guys - I just sent her a 'thinking of you' card and let her know I'm there for her if she wants to talk. I appreciate all your help.

Bearsbabe, thanks for your honesty - I am sooo glad to hear you are pregnant again and things are going well. Good luck to you!

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

so sorry for your friend

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

So sorry to hear about this. It always seems that there are no appropriate words to comfort someone who has suffered a loss. Just try to let her know that you are there for her.

Re: So Sad - What do I say?

That's so sad. I have no words of wisdom to share, only

Re: So Sad - What do I say?