One of my bffs recently told me that she went to look at rings with her bf and will be getting engaged soon. Even tho she doesn't have her ring yet.. she is starting to talk about her wedding plans.. and she asked me to be her MOH! Ofcourse I was flattered and said yes!! I told her pleasee dont have it too close to mine.. bc i will be making her a bach party, bridal shower etc and i have no idea how I can afford any of that while FH and I are paying for our wedding!!! We are just making it and any added expenses will be very hard...Today she told me that she is looking at September 2011... barely a month after minee!! Her shower would have to be in June or July!!! How am I going to pull this off?? How can I talk to her without sounding selfish or like I am not happy for herr.. Is it selfish to ask her to do it later if she wants me to be her MOH or to tell her I dont want to be MOH anymoree... everyone is telling me it will be way too much for me to handlee and if I bring it up to her she says dont worry about it, dont stresss.. she doesnt see the big picturee!! Advice pleaseeee
Im getting Married
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
My only advice right now would be if you want to be her MOH maybe you can get the other girls or her family to help you out. Even though it is a month after your wedding you will probably have most everything done.
If you really can't see yourself doing all of the things she wants I would let her know now that you are flattered but you do not think with the weddings being so close that you could focus the attention she would need & you want to focus because of them being so close together.
Sorry it does not make much sense
RJP523
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
Hey! I completely understand- FH's cousin is getting married a month before us almost to the date (we got engaged 3 days apart & neither of them knew the other was proposing). It can be stressful & hard to coordinate, especially if you are in the bridal party. I would explain to her exactly how you feel- you are honored to be asked to be her MOH but she needs to understand that in those last few weeks before her wedding, you will be in the last few days of yours. You can't be expected to do all the 'traditional' MOH responsibilities on your own. Let her know that her day is important to you also. I don't think that's selfish at all. Also, I think once she really steps into the world of wedding planning she will see how much it really does involve. I think the best thing to do is to lay everything out on the table, & work it out with her, & the rest of her bridal party. HTH- Good luck!
chreesta
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
Hey. I would just be honest. You're not being selfish at all. You are stressed because you want to do a good job as her MOH. Explain that to her. I'm sure she will understand the difficulties this presents and that the two of you can come up with a solution. I think she will be happy that you are worried about helping her out with her day.
Notwedyet08
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
I think it's totally ok to be honest and just tell her that you're honored to be her MOH but that you're afraid you may not be able to take on the some of the (financial) responsibilites that comes along with that role. She HAS to understand that you just won't have money to plan all her activites as well as pay for the remainder of your wedding AND honeymoon!
Talk to her and just be honest; she might just really want you in the wedding; but already have other people lined up to help with the major planning since you'll be so focused on your on wedding!
Good Luck!
AdriandSteve
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
Forget the $ issue. Just the planning and stress alone is a lot. I was just MOH for my friend who got married this past sat and I don't know how i would have been able to do it if i was getting married this Sept instead of a year later.
I agree... look to see how helpful her family is. That makes all the difference in the world.
Panamasweet
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
I would not try to talk her into changing her date but i would tell her that because her wedding is so close to yours you dont think you could fulfill the responsibilities of a MOH. Leave it up to her to make a decision from that if she wants to change the date or find another MOH. She should appreciate your honesty
vickyp0o1215
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
Thanksss 4 the advicee.. since she in reality isnt engaged yet i am going to wait it out.. once she realizes how much of process it all isss maybe she will wait til 2012 lol ..well seee!
ellie424
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
I definitely think that you should be honest with her and let her know that you would love to be a part of her day but that it may be too much to take on.
DanielleMF
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
I have a similar situation as you and it is stressing me out too. I dont think you should try to talk her into changing her date. If she asked you to change, You probably wouldn't want to either. Just be completely honest with her and hopefully she will understand.
Keep us posted!
Corinne Ann
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Re: So stresseddd... help!!
Posted by charondita
I would not try to talk her into changing her date but i would tell her that because her wedding is so close to yours you dont think you could fulfill the responsibilities of a MOH. Leave it up to her to make a decision from that if she wants to change the date or find another MOH. She should appreciate your honesty
