So this is how the game is played...
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when
dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to
understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one
single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and
you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's
the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
______________
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
______________
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
In the snow .....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
______________
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40
_____________
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
Drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18
_______________
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team ...-10
__________________
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
___________________
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15
_____________________
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly &exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, 'It doesn't matter, you have one too.'.....-800
(this is a funny one!)
_____________________
THE BIG QUESTION:
She asks, 'Does this dress make me look fat?'
You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, 'Where?'.....-35
You reply, 'No, I think it's your ***'.....-100
Any other response.....-20
_____________________
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying 'well,
what do you think I should do?'.....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200
_____________________
ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to
understand just how it works. Remember, in the world of romance, one
single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and
you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's
the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed.....+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.....0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.....-1
______________
You leave the toilet seat up.....-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex.....-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.... -2
______________
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
In the snow .....+8
But return with beer.....-5
And no liners.....-25
______________
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.....0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something.....+5
You pummel it with a six iron.....+10
It's her cat.....-40
_____________
AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party.....0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College
Drinking buddy.....-2
Named Tiffany.....-4
Tiffany is a dancer.....-10
With breast implants.....-18
_______________
HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....0
You buy a card and flowers.....0
You take her out to dinner.....0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.....+1
Okay, it is a sports bar.....-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night.....-3
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is
painted the colors of your favorite team ...-10
__________________
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single.....-7
He drives a Ferrari.....-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED).....-15
___________________
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie.....+2
You take her to a movie she likes.....+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like.....-2
It's called Death Cop III.....-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans.....-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.....-15
_____________________
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly.....-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly &exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts.....-30
You say, 'It doesn't matter, you have one too.'.....-800
(this is a funny one!)
_____________________
THE BIG QUESTION:
She asks, 'Does this dress make me look fat?'
You hesitate in responding.....-10
You reply, 'Where?'.....-35
You reply, 'No, I think it's your ***'.....-100
Any other response.....-20
_____________________
COMMUNICATION: When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.....0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.....+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying 'well,
what do you think I should do?'.....-100
You have fallen asleep.....-200
_____________________
ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
You talk.....-100
You don't talk.....-150
You spend time with her......-200
You don't spend time with her.....-500
You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000
GAME OVER - YOU LOSE!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
