Hmm I don't even know what to say... My family has 5 kids (all my 1st cousins). FH's family has around 20 (his cousin's kids). We've been saying all along that we didn't think it appropriate to have kids at our wedding. Our reception is 7pm-1am!
With FH's family, it's just understood that kids don't go to weddings. Two of my sisters happened to invite kids b/c their husbands families were from very out of town and relitives wouldn't have been able to come b/c they couldn't have left their kids behind. And now, my parents have been making me feel so guilty, saying that those uncles and aunts may decide not to come.
It's making me feel so sad! What do I do???
jeanne08
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
well your parents ned to understand if you invite kids on your side you'll have to invite th 20 on FH side. It's just too much. And you don't want FHs family to be offended that their kids aren't invited if others are.
jeanyus27
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
Ugh! I feel your pain! I went through all of this too. We decided to just invite our nieces and nephews, then my mom starts making me feel guilty about my cousins kids! One of my cousins wanted to bring his two kids and i had to tell him no. The next day another cousin called my mom and asked if she could bring her 3 kids (all under the age of 6!!!) I told my mom, 'see if i would have said yes to one, we would have had to let everyone bring there kids!' I know its a hard situation. If there from out of town then its harder for them to just get someone to watch their kids for a couple of hours. So maybe you can discuss it with your fh and see if you can or want to bend the rules for certain guests that you really want to be there. It will all work out!
awgg822
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
It just stinks b/c my parents are helping out so much for this wedding and I really don't want to disappoint anyone, but we just don't want kids. I'm just so afraid that two uncles that I'd really want to be there won't or won't be able to come.
My mom said last month that she understood our decision, but I know she talks about it to anyone and everyone. (She's actually a nice person, but I guess she's really upset about this.) But she's not being honest w/ me because tonight again she said she doesn't care, though she won't stop making me feel so guilty EVERY DAY about it.
Sorry to vent so much, it's the one thing that's really upsetting me. Thanks for your comments.
awgg822
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
PS - we're inviting our two (2 year old) nephews at their parents discression to have them at the RH or not b/c they're our ring bearers and they're the only out of towners.
nifheim
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
we had no kids at our wedding except for my rb and fg. Honestly its best this way the parents appreciate not having their kids destroying their evening.
One cousin did just bring his baby and he didn't come to the ceremony out of respect to us. If i invited kids it would of been a zoo. I can understand if your wedding was earlier and that would be make a huge diff but late nights nad kids do not mix.
snwb08
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
honestly, after my cousin's wedding i kind of think that having kids at a wedding will ruin their parents nights. I have pics of my sisters and cousins looking miserable b/c they were chasing their kids around all night.
I'm only inviting the kids in our BP, who happen to all be my nieces and nephews. And I'm having a DAY wedding. Don't feel bad.... stick to your decision.
my nephew (who is 3) ran up screaming to the groom during the best man toast. he was laughing, but i'm sure they didn't think it was so cute.
Kerin2804
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
We had a similar issue but had to simply say we can not afford to invite all of the kids - We also can not say it is ok for a to being their kids but b & c can not. We kept it on a relative level - Only invied our nieces & nephews.
awgg822
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
Thanks. I don't know why I let it upset me so much... I just wish my parents would understand. I'm sending save the dates on Wednesday and need to make the official decision by then...
PegaLega
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
I felt guilty too telling people no, especially since they were 1st cousins-try not to-if they really want to be there they will come to your wedding. Our aunts and uncles all came even though they werent happy about the no kids policy.
angl2001
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Re: So upset about kids/no kids at wedding
honestly if they have kids and your reception goes till 1am anyways....they might not wanna come and worry about the kids being tired and cranky! Parents need to realize weddings are different these days some poeple want a child free night!!
