So upset at my mother *long vent*

Ive mentioned before that Im basically throwing my own shower and used the excuse that Im a control freak which is true to an extent. Ive designed the invites, ordered the envelopes, bought game prizes, picked out favors, chose the games, made the guest list and even started looking around for places. But now Im just fed up.

I was researching halls on Staten Island for it at work and my coworkers couldnt believe I was doing that. They were like its up to your MOH and mother. So I decided to just make a list and give it to my mother. I just gave it to her in front of my dad and their both like your MOH is supposed to be doing this. I went off.

My MOH just got a job after being unemployed for almost 6 months. I know she has to catch up on bills, rent etc. Im just asking my mother to do one simple thing. At least my MOH has gone on appointments with me to florist, video, dj, etc. My mom said shes not supposed to go on appointments with me, thats up to me and FH. She didnt even go dress shopping with me, I went with my MOH, all my mom did was go to the shop with me afterward and pay for it.

To top it off I showed my mother the shower game prizes online before I bought them, they came in the mail on Saturday and she goes 'Whats that for?' Its like she doesnt pay any damn mind to anything I tell her that has to do with the wedding.

Her lack of interest and involvement is really getting to me. I see so many brides whos mothers are so involved and mine probably doesnt even remember the name of the place Im getting married at.

i'm so sorry!!!! wow, i'm realizing that the grass is always greener - i get mad at my mom for being too involved and bugging me all the time.

have you talked to your mom? is she like this with everything? what do you think it is?

I would talk to her. it's your wedding, it only happens once and she should be totally involved. why she wouldn't want to be is beyond me.

and i don't really agree that it's all on your MOH... my MOH is my sister anyway but it always depends - my mom planned and threw all of our showers...

good luck

i am in a somewhat similar situation.... i have only been engaged 5 months and this is suppose to be the happiest time of my life…. And it sure is not all that it is cracked up to be! In my situation though, my mother and father are doing things for me b/c “they have to” in order to “make me happy” when I know they themselves are miserable. It is a horrible situation and I feel so alone and isolated… I am definitely a very depressed bride to be

If you need anything, i am here for you

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Posted by snwb08

have you talked to your mom? is she like this with everything? what do you think it is?

good luck

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exactly, is she always like this? My mom is almost the same way.

Just do it yourself.... and traditionally the bridal shower IS thrown by MOH and BMs so your family isn't just pulling it out of their behinds.

Hang in there and just accept your mom for who and how she is... UNLESS of course this is out-of-character for her, then I would try and have a talk with her..

Sorry lady. Yes you shouldnt be organizing your own shower. Can you let your bridal party maybe know whats going on maybe they can plan it for you and your mom can finance it.


P.S. i went to a shower at Real Madrid and it was wonderful..I know its dark in there but they lightened it up and decorated..it was wonderful and they give you practically the entire menu as choices.

wow i am so sorry youre going thru this hun.. maybe she is sad that shes losing you or something? i feel like there must be some kind of reason deep down why she isnt being involved or happy for you.. have you tried sitting her down and talking to her?

My mother can be the same way.

We went dress shopping and she was more into getting my sister the perfect MOH dress..even the sales lady made a comment about it!

You shouldn't be planning your own shower..I'm sorry that you have to. Is there anyone like an aunt or family member than can talk to and help you mom with stuff maybe?

FH just keeps telling me...you'll be outta there soon. I love my mom...but she just doesn't get how important this is to me. Maybe yours doesn't either..?

wow, i'm so sorry you have to go through all this. i really think you need to sit your mom down and calmly talk to her about how much you want her to be involved. make her feel needed and wanted maybe it will change her tune.

i really hope everything works out!!

my Mom doesnt live here so my parents are not involved in our wedding planning at all......it *****

Awe hun! I'm sorry that you're having trouble with your mom, I hope everything works out for you!!!

So sorry Jenn ...



My mom can be sort of not respondent when I am upset about something - she is not the one to go when you just want someone to say 'everything's going to be ok' - so I can kinda relate ....

for you!

awww i'm so sorry that you are hvaing trouble with your mom! did you try sitting down and talking to her- maybe she is just preoccupied with other things and doesnt even realize that she is making you upset.

I'm really sorry to hear that. I think that is horrible! It's kind of funny, I have the opposite problem. My stepmother is getting too involved!! ha ha! My mother passed away a couple of years ago so I think my stepmother is trying to do everything I would have done with my mom! Sorry, ha ha I'm rambling about myself! ANYWAY, I am sorry to hear that your mom is not as interested as you would like her to be but it sounds like you have some great friends that are! Like your MOH! I would just skip asking your mom to do things with you and be thankful your MOH is helping out so much! GOOD LUCK!!!!

have you spoken to her about how you feel?

I would tell her that people may go by rules of who should be involved and attend differnt things, but you would really like to do more with her.

GL that is stinky!!!

Aww- im sorry your having a hard time with this. Let your mom know how you feel. im sure she doesnt want u to be upset

Good luck

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Posted by snwb08

i'm so sorry!!!! wow, i'm realizing that the grass is always greener - i get mad at my mom for being too involved and bugging me all the time.

have you talked to your mom? is she like this with everything? what do you think it is?

I would talk to her. it's your wedding, it only happens once and she should be totally involved. why she wouldn't want to be is beyond me.

and i don't really agree that it's all on your MOH... my MOH is my sister anyway but it always depends - my mom planned and threw all of our showers...

good luck

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i just spoke to her today and she said 'i dont need to go on appts and stuff with you, my mother didnt'.

eh whatever and the funny thing is she complained for the longest that my 16 yr old sister wasnt my MOH. now if I had chosen her, theres no way my immature little sister couldve planned a shower on her own.

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Posted by kslmbuggie

where are your other BMs?? can they help?

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half of them are out of state and the other is my MOH and my 16 yr old sister. so its pretty much me.

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

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Posted by snwb08

have you talked to your mom? is she like this with everything? what do you think it is?

good luck

---

exactly, is she always like this? My mom is almost the same way.

Just do it yourself.... and traditionally the bridal shower IS thrown by MOH and BMs so your family isn't just pulling it out of their behinds.

Hang in there and just accept your mom for who and how she is... UNLESS of course this is out-of-character for her, then I would try and have a talk with her..

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im gonna wind up doing everything myself but at the same time i cant afford it.

hey jenn!!

if u want to talk about planning ur shower.. u should pm me.. i'm planning my own shower.. my MOH is also out of work and is in school full time in MASS even though she lives in NY so she travels back and forth all week.. she's struggling to hang on.. and it was just too much for her.. PLUS she's sort of earthy and was planning this earth friendly , aromotherapy having, indian food serving return to u'r earthly roots go green bridal shower that is TOTALLY NOT ME.. so when she came to me and said MIna, bridal shower or bachelorette party.. i just can't do both, i told her BP.. leave the bridal shower to me..

so i'm planning my own.. i haven't gotten any furhter than the date.. but i don't mind.. it'll happen.. throw tradition to the wind!! forget what u'r MOH or BP are spose to do.. mine is out of state too.. and they are busy interviewing strippers (can't understand why u have to INTERVIEW a stripper but whatchagonna do?)

i'd love to see what kind of prizes u got and if u have any prices on locations i'd love to know about that info also!!