So Upset (really long.....sorry)

Okay so ever since FH and I got engaged we wanted his sister to be a part of our wedding. Actually she was the first BM I even asked. Thought that she was going to be the biggest help and she was just so happy.........

Okay fast forward........ever since they (MOH, BMs) started to plan the shower.....(it's not a suprise I know everything about it) She has been giving everyone a really hard time. My MOH and my Mother decided on a day it was a Sunday at 11am.......Mom wanted a brunch (BTW: she is paying for most of it). Everyone was fine with the day but FSIL complained and had a litteral fit about the time. She was upset the her family (meaning her mother and sisters were going to miss church to come to my shower) Now she doesn't even go to church.........she was upset for everyone else, who didn't seem to have a problem at all. Finally she let it go.

Next was the invitations......she wanted to save money and make them herself. Now we decided in January the theme date and time. So that she could start making them or at least thinking about them. So we have all been talking for the last few months about getting together to start working on these......the rest of us are not crafty and I have never done anything with rubber stamping at all. So she was really the only one that could get us started show us what to do and then we could all get them done. Well everytime we have tried to get together she has something else to do and she can't make it and just keeps saying that 'we have time don't worry' Well invites need to go out by Aug 1 and nothing had been started. So last week my MOH went and just ordered some. Well FSIL threw a fit..........now the invites aren't even costing $100 split that up eight ways and it is hardly worth fighting over. Actually I am just glad that they are getting done.

Now onto this weekend. FSIL called my MOH Satuday and said that the date for the shower doesn't work for her......she just found out her daughter has a chance to go to NYC with the Girl Scouts and it just happens to be that weekend(I think that she need to go or the daughter can't go). But not to worry because she called the resturant and the weekend before that is free.........we can just move it........ What???!!!!!! (she did all this without me or my mother knowing)

This has been planned since January.....you can't just change it!!!!!!!!!! All of my OOT people have made plans and have hotels.......invites have been ordered.......you can't just change something like this!!!!!!!!!!! So I have been so upset all weekend long.........At this point I really don't even care if she is there. I would rather her go on the trip...

Now she doesn't think that she did anything wrong and she just doens't see what the big deal is..........

Am I wrong to get hurt and upset??

I would be really upset too, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Maybe FMIL can talk some sense into her???

YES !!!!!

Can you put her head in between the two brick walls ?
All kidding aside, she is a BM, not MOH. Let her know outright that it is not HER decision to make alone to change the date of the shower.

Sorry, but since NYC is not such a far away place, her daughter can go at any time, with or without the girl scouts.
Family always comes first.

Just tell her the shower is remaining that date, and she can choose to be at the shower or not.

If she doesn't go, the best thing that can happen is that you won't have any aggrevation from her that day.

wow--she has balls.

i would tell FMIL to have a serious talk with her and let her know that she doesn't run the show--and the world does NOT revolve around her.

if she chooses to go to NYC that wknd--oh well. but you shouldn't have to move the shower for her.

I have told her that the shower is not changing not matter what and I guess she just have a choice to make. I really don't even want to deal with it. She sees nothing wrong with what she did...

My MOH had to call today and make sure that she didn't do anything with the resturant (like put it on hold until we decided what day)

It just upsets me that all of this is about the shower........I can't even imagine what is going to happen in a few months..........

i am so sorry she is doing this!! i swear, some people forget who the wedding is for!!!

---

Posted by MJDoc12

wow--she has balls.

---

That is excatly what FH said whn he got off the phone with her...........Actually he said

What F***ing BALLS..............

I have a very similar situation going on!!!!

---

Posted by WilliesBride

---

Posted by MJDoc12

wow--she has balls.

---

That is excatly what FH said whn he got off the phone with her...........Actually he said

What F***ing BALLS..............

---

YES YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE UPSET..AND DO NOT CHANGE THE DATE.....ALL THE PLANS HAVE BEEN MADE AND KEEP IN MIND SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CANNNOT MAKE IT. TELL HER YOUR VERY SORRY BUT THE DATE WILL STAY THE SAME ESPEC. IF U HAVE OUT OF TOWN GUESTS COMING.

OMG it's been planned the WHOLE YEAR and she just wants to change everyone's plans to revolve around her LIFE!? helloooooooooooo?! who's the bride? you? yeah that's what i thought. someone needs to smack it to her hard. the NERVE!

I'm so sorry....I would just explain to her that the plans WILL not change nd that you are sorry she will not be able to attend. As far as invitations go if she brings it up again explain to her that with all of the 4765243 things you have left with the wedding you just wanted the invitations done so you did not have to worry about them. My advice is to just smile and nod when she talks and curse softly under your breath!!

YOU SHOULD NOT BE UPSET ......it's your FSIL! You're going to be family with her so respect her and do what she says. sikeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... i bet that's what is going through her mind though!!!! I would flip out! You are really handling it calmly!

Fh just left togo and meet with her........Oh-boy I Hope this goes well or thenext few months could get really bad......

you have EVERY right o be upset... my FSIL gave me a hard time b/c she just moved to Colorado and can't make my shower uless it is the wknd b4 my wedding (i just started planning my wedding a month ago) and it stressed me out too... but it just isnt right for me.

SHE can't just make decisions without consulting you first ..thats rude.

so DONT feel as though you are being unreasonable.

for lack of a better term... F**K her daughters girl scout thing, you know??

ugh im so sorry-- you have EVERY RIGHT to be miffed.