SO UPSET! Vent

im so sorry they are going through that and you are stuck in the middle... i dont really know what to tell you though... i think you need to seperate from her completely on this and talk to your dad

well, first and most importantly.. i'm so sorry you and your dad are going through this. i hope you guys work it all out and he can come through for you.

but 2. i used to work at hawk's cay 3 years ago. if you decide to go ... you will love it!!!

hopefully things will calm down a little bit. you said this is just happening from last week so i'm sure things will quiet down a bit and they will work whatever they need to work out civilly so you dont get the shaft.

i would talk to your dad and ask his advice. if she is offering you any $ or help...he may just say TAKE IT, just to spite her


good luck hun! sorry i cant be of more help!

How in the he!! could this have happened to the both of us in the same week and with our HMs?? This is my plan: My dad's ex-fiance gave me the same story as yours. I figure, if she wants to continue as originally planned, don't ask questions, just do it! Don't we have enough to think about here?? As for him, I haven't heard anything yet, but the same goes for him. You planned to pay for the HM, then do it, regardless of your personal situation. This should be the one thing they can come together on if nothing else. Sounds a little selfish on my part but I can't see past the fact that this is my wedding and we you made a deal with me! Not sure how you feel about that...
As far as paying for the HM if they don't come through, we're also moving right after the wedding and simply cannot afford to do it all, so the HM would have to wait. It ***** but it's reality. So sorry you're going through this..

This is all JMO:
I would just tell her... I don't want to be in the middle and I hate to take sides, but my dad is my dad and always will be so out of respect for him, I'll have to decline but I appreciate everything you've done so far and I'm sorry to see this is happening.


I don't know how close you were to her or how long she was your step mom but you could choose to add something about your relationshipp... or not.

If she's gonna play games, you continuing to use her as a TA is just going to fuel the drama fire... if she and your dad have little or no hope for reconciliation, you don't want to do anything to make things harder on your dad or yourself, it's not worth the money you'll be saving or the potential adverse emotion you might feel when you take the trip.

Kind of playing devil's advocate, but it is my honest feeling:

Are you sure she's playing games? Maybe she's sincerely asking what you want to do about the plans now and whether you'd be comfortable even having her involved.

Or am I missing something?

Whatever the case, I'm sorry you're going through this. Just make sure they both know that their separation is about them and no one else. They should NOT be putting anyone in the middle of it.

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Posted by MrsHazel2B

I was thinking the same thing..she may be very genuine in not knowing her position right now...

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This is a good point, and I agree, I guess I was assuming you knew something of her character we weren't privvy to.

Thank you ladies...maybe I am just upset and not looking at the big picture. It's all so upsetting!!
THANK YOU>

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Posted by Lsorrent

Kind of playing devil's advocate, but it is my honest feeling:

Are you sure she's playing games? Maybe she's sincerely asking what you want to do about the plans now and whether you'd be comfortable even having her involved.

Or am I missing something?

Whatever the case, I'm sorry you're going through this. Just make sure they both know that their separation is about them and no one else. They should NOT be putting anyone in the middle of it.

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I agree with Laura -- is she the kind of person who usually plays games and would do something like that in this situation?

future SM here and here's my take

she's scared...yes she bsed about IM..know why> she pply doesnt want anything she says misunderstood over IM and rather talk on phone (I also take it she is older than me and would prefer that).

I would never ever take it out on my SDS if their Father messed up, has nothing to do with you. (IF you Father did, not saying he did).

Maybe she still wants to do it but feels awkward.
Give her a chance...

Update:
I just got a reply that is making me extremely upset. I don't wanna be in the middle of any of this. I'm gonna talk to FH and maybe we will just have to book HM through someone else so I don't have to worry about drama.
I always liked her and never thought any of this would happen. I don't wanna be punished for other people's mistakes and it looks like I am.
This really stinkssss