so, we get a call from a church today...

to say that if they don't get my baptismal certificate, they won't be able to marry us next month.
um, okay, except we met with a secratary (back in the winter) who told us that she'd have to check with the priest, because she wasn't sure he'd allow someone like me to get married in his church. yeah, i'm lutheran. though, the way she phrased her words, you would have thought i was the devil incarnate.
that was FH's church... we were both pretty disgusted with the way they spoke to us, so we met with the pastor ffrom my church, who welcomed us with open arms, and never looked back... never called back, never met with the priest, never signed anything, never mailed them anything, never made another appointment.
so, they think we're getting married there, because...???

wow that's crazy!! why would they think that your getting married there??

I'm lutheran too, FH is catholic.....he's not exactly what I consider a practicing catholic, but his parents are- BIG time!! so we were thinking of getting married in the catholic church since it would mean so much to his family.....but I know what your saying about feeling like the 'devil' lol, I was told I wouldn't be able to receive communion on my wedding day b/c I'm not catholic....so even though it means a lot to FMIL I don't think I'll have a full mass, b/c I would feel silly not having communion when everyone else is.

Sorry to crash your post......just wanted to say I feel your pain!!!

i know i need to word this carefully because church/faith/religion is a tough one.

i'm sorry that the church made you feel so bad. it really chaps my hyde when ANY church makes someone feel like they are on the wrong side of faith.

at a time that they can be welcoming you, when they can be openning their arms to you with love and faith and making you feel that having your marriage blessed by GOD; they do just the oppostie.

this is one of the many reasons i left the catholic church.

are you planning to call them back and let them know about how your plans have changed?

I am lutheran, and FH is catholic...I think usually you get married in the woman's faith, I think other than if someone is jewish. You also usually bring children up in the woman's faith....i'm saying usually for those who disagree..lol

I am so happy that we are getting married in the Lutheran church.

Very weird that the other church made you feel horrible and still thinks you want to get married there....

---

Posted by HelenZ

wow that's crazy!! why would they think that your getting married there??

I'm lutheran too, FH is catholic.....he's not exactly what I consider a practicing catholic, but his parents are- BIG time!! so we were thinking of getting married in the catholic church since it would mean so much to his family.....but I know what your saying about feeling like the 'devil' lol, I was told I wouldn't be able to receive communion on my wedding day b/c I'm not catholic....so even though it means a lot to FMIL I don't think I'll have a full mass, b/c I would feel silly not having communion when everyone else is.

Sorry to crash your post......just wanted to say I feel your pain!!!

---

I'm sorry that the church you're dealing with is so not with the times. If you pick up a missalette, on the back it has a explains about communion. It states that as a Catholic (which I am) I can only take communion is a Catholic church, but any one who has be baptised into the Christian faith can take communion at a Catholic church. I would point that paragraph out to your priest. HTH

---

Posted by thelilacone

I'm sorry that the church you're dealing with is so not with the times. If you pick up a missalette, on the back it has a explains about communion. It states that as a Catholic (which I am) I can only take communion is a Catholic church, but any one who has be baptised into the Christian faith can take communion at a Catholic church. I would point that paragraph out to your priest. HTH

---

To the OP-I am sorry the receptionist was rude to you, unfortunately they are sometimes the first impression you get of a church, but do not represent the rest of the congregation.

Lilia-If you read any missal it asks that if you are not Catholic, to please refrain from taking communion. You must receive the Sacraments to receive in a Catholic church. During a Catholic mass, the Eucharist is transformed into the body and blood of Christ. In the Catholic faith the Eucharist is not just a 'symbol' of Christ (as it is in the Protestant faith) , but really the body and blood of Christ. If you are not in communion with the teachings and beliefs of any church, you should not participate in their communion.

---

Posted by carlsbride
Lilia-If you read any missal it asks that if you are not Catholic, to please refrain from taking communion. You must receive the Sacraments to receive in a Catholic church. During a Catholic mass, the Eucharist is transformed into the body and blood of Christ. In the Catholic faith the Eucharist is not just a 'symbol' of Christ (as it is in the Protestant faith) , but really the body and blood of Christ. If you are not in communion with the teachings and beliefs of any church, you should not participate in their communion.

---

I just find it funny that we are all Christians baptised in the name of the same God, and yet we discriminate against the brothers and sisters of our faith. Yes I know that there are differences between Catholics and the other Christian faithes, but overall we believe in the same Holy Trinity and the same savior of our soul. It amuses me to no end.
None of my groomsmen are catholic, yet they will be able to recieve communion durning my wedding mass. I guess it all depends on the specific church you're dealing with. /hijack

---

Posted by thelilacone

I just find it funny that we are all Christians baptised in the name of the same God, and yet we discriminate against the brothers and sisters of our faith. Yes I know that there are differences between Catholics and the other Christian faithes, but overall we believe in the same Holy Trinity and the same savior of our soul. It amuses me to no end.
None of my groomsmen are catholic, yet they will be able to recieve communion durning my wedding mass. I guess it all depends on the specific church you're dealing with. /hijack

---

I completely agree with you......when FH's family questions me being lutheran (which FMIL does all the time!!!), and she wants me to 'convert' to being catholic- I want to tell her- it's not like I believe in a different God!! To me, christian is christian, and it shouldn't be as if my beliefs are wrong. I'm only stating how I've been made to feel by FMIL- I don't want to offend any catholics out there!!!

---

Posted by thelilacone
I just find it funny that we are all Christians baptised in the name of the same God, and yet we discriminate against the brothers and sisters of our faith. Yes I know that there are differences between Catholics and the other Christian faithes, but overall we believe in the same Holy Trinity and the same savior of our soul. It amuses me to no end.
None of my groomsmen are catholic, yet they will be able to recieve communion durning my wedding mass. I guess it all depends on the specific church you're dealing with. /hijack

---

It is not discrimination - it is a different belief, different teachings and a different theology.

---

Posted by carlsbride
Lilia-If you read any missal it asks that if you are not Catholic, to please refrain from taking communion. You must receive the Sacraments to receive in a Catholic church. During a Catholic mass, the Eucharist is transformed into the body and blood of Christ. In the Catholic faith the Eucharist is not just a 'symbol' of Christ (as it is in the Protestant faith) , but really the body and blood of Christ. If you are not in communion with the teachings and beliefs of any church, you should not participate in their communion.

---

I asked the decon at Pre-cana this last night and he said the exact same thing. I am sad because my father was raised prostant and he will not be able to take communion at my wedding

---

Posted by thelilacone


I just find it funny that we are all Christians baptised in the name of the same God, and yet we discriminate against the brothers and sisters of our faith. Yes I know that there are differences between Catholics and the other Christian faithes, but overall we believe in the same Holy Trinity and the same savior of our soul. It amuses me to no end.

---

i tend to agree. so i'm lutheran and it was a catholic church. big deal?! we still believe in the SAME THING. and i think that any church should be WELCOMING couples who want to get married in a church, not making them feel inferior for any reason. FH has been a part of that church his entire life; he went to elementary school there and then went to catholic high school and college. it meant a lot to him to get married there... but once he saw how they treated me, he understood my not wanting to. well, for the most part. there was a bit of a fight, which stemmed from FMIL because the catholic church will not recognize a marriage that doesn't happen IN the catholic church. but that's another story. when the church called, i answered the phone and just told them that we wouldn't be getting married there - that we had never even met with the priest or followed up. the lady that called seemed surprised, but i kind of just trailed off and got off the phone as quickly as possible. i DID want to tell them why we chose not to get married there, but honestly, i didn't want to get myself upset. i didn't feel it was worth it; i don't think they'll change and i honestly didn't want there to be any bad blood. it is still FH's church, and his family's, and i don't want anything to be weird. i just want no part of it.

Re: Communion: No, non-Catholics cannot receive communion at a Catholic mass. This is not to make other people feel unholy or like they don't belong - it's because there is a fundamental tenet of Catholicism that isn't shared with other faiths: Transubstantiation. Other faiths see the eucharist as a SYMBOL of Jesus' body / blood, whereas Catholics see it as turning LITERALLY into Jesus' body and blood. I don't see how it is unreasonable to not want others who do not share this belief to refrain from taking part in this portion of the mass. When it comes to communion, Catholics and other faiths do not believe the exact same thing. I also believe that Catholics are not supposed to take Eucharist at other churches either, even if that chruch permits others to take it (so just a heads up at the Catholics may refrain from taking communion, which shouldn't be taken as them being upset or anything like that). Anyway, I hope this at least clears things up. I don't really consider myself 'practicing' but 14 years of Catholic school has got to count for something. ;)

Now, if you have the mass concelebrated with a minister of another faith (Episcopal or Lutheran, e.g.), then everyone should be able to take communion (at least, they were at my brother's wedding - Catholic and Episcopal)

This is one of the reasons I'm not having a mass at my wedding. I was raised Catholic (family still practices), but FH and his family are not Catholic. I don't want anyone to feel out of place on that day, so I can totally sympathize with you guys. We'll be getting married in the church (my family would die if we didn't), but no mass. I have a feeling we'll get a hard time about that from the priest, but we're firm in this decision. My cousin married a non-Catholic and had a ceremony without a mass... To be honest, I never wanted the mass, anyway!