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So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

CrazyChris Posted:

So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

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AugustBridein09 Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Posted by CrazyChris
Should I just turn the party over to the other BM’s?




I would. Sorry you are dealing with this.
pandafish519 Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

i think she should let the other girls take the reigns on the party. maybe she doesn't want to admit how stressed she is???
caligirl87 Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

If you have a chance swing by her house and see if you can talk to her. I would approach her with concern first. Since she's not responding to anyone, something may be going on that you aren't aware of, so give her the opportunity to explain what's happening. I would ask her if she's okay. I would tell her I am concerned about her and apologize for sounding short on the message I left her. I would ask her if there's something going on or if the stress of the baby is more than she expected. I would ask her if she still wants to be my MOH or if life is just a little to hetic right now (giving her an out without ruining the friendship). If she says she doesn't I would just tell her I understand and leave it at that. If she says she still wants to, then I would ask her what's going on with the bachelorette party and tell her I'm concerned that she's not responding to anyone's messages. Can she take care of this? Most importantly I would do this all as lovingly as I could. 23 years of friendship is a lot to throw away over a wedding. While our weddings may be the most important day to us, I have to step back and remind myself that they aren't the most important day to everyone else and some times life just gets in the way. It really hurts though when such a close friend doesn't seem to be that plugged in and supportive. I'm really sorry.
Denise10309 Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

I think if you ahve been friends for 23 years, this is probably something she really WANTS to do for you, but since she has a newborn, she is probably just stressed with everything she has to do. I would tell her since you haven't heard from her, and you know she is prob stressed, your other bms are going to start planning something else, and that they will send her the dates and locations of everything. I would also let her know that you aren't trying to take any MOH responsibility away from her, you are just trying to lighten her load! JMO

BeLissa Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

I think you should send her an email just saying that it seems like she might have too much on her plate to handle the responsibilty of planning the bach party and that you have turned it over to the other BM's so that she doesnt have to worry about it.

CrazyChris Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Posted by caligirl87

If you have a chance swing by her house and see if you can talk to her.



I would stop by her house but she lives in NC, so I have no idea what is going on which makes this even harder. I am going to do what you said, ask her in a calm way if she can do this and she what she says. THANK YOU!
meg922 Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Is this her first baby? She may just be overwhelmed and may possibly be suffering from post-partum depression.

I'd let the other BMs take over the planning, but make sure they copy your MOH on e-mails, etc., so she still feels involved. I'm sure your MOH had good intentions when she originally agreed to plan the party for you.
9509Bride Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Posted by caligirl87

If you have a chance swing by her house and see if you can talk to her. I would approach her with concern first. Since she's not responding to anyone, something may be going on that you aren't aware of, so give her the opportunity to explain what's happening. I would ask her if she's okay. I would tell her I am concerned about her and apologize for sounding short on the message I left her. I would ask her if there's something going on or if the stress of the baby is more than she expected. I would ask her if she still wants to be my MOH or if life is just a little to hetic right now (giving her an out without ruining the friendship). If she says she doesn't I would just tell her I understand and leave it at that. If she says she still wants to, then I would ask her what's going on with the bachelorette party and tell her I'm concerned that she's not responding to anyone's messages. Can she take care of this? Most importantly I would do this all as lovingly as I could. 23 years of friendship is a lot to throw away over a wedding. While our weddings may be the most important day to us, I have to step back and remind myself that they aren't the most important day to everyone else and some times life just gets in the way. It really hurts though when such a close friend doesn't seem to be that plugged in and supportive. I'm really sorry.


Well Said...ITA.
CrazyChris Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

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CrazyChris Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Posted by meg922

Is this her first baby? She may just be overwhelmed and may possibly be suffering from post-partum depression.

I'd let the other BMs take over the planning, but make sure they copy your MOH on e-mails, etc., so she still feels involved. I'm sure your MOH had good intentions when she originally agreed to plan the party for you.


It is her first baby, she could be suffering from post partum but she doesn't pick up the phone when I call.
gina409 Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

im sure she is just overwhelmed and not meaning for all this to happen..saying that if ur other bms live in ny i would let them do it...i mean april is going to be here any sec and u gotta plan it out....i would leave her one final voicemail or email saying whats going on but id let the others get it rolling

debzy Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Maybe she's upset with you because she feels you haven't been keeping in touch with her. Friendships go both ways, but maybe she just wants the attention because of the new baby. If I were you, I'd bring over a baby gift to her house and catch up. I'm sure after 23 years of friendship you can smooth this out.

CrazyChris Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Posted by debzy

Maybe she's upset with you because she feels you haven't been keeping in touch with her. Friendships go both ways, but maybe she just wants the attention because of the new baby. If I were you, I'd bring over a baby gift to her house and catch up. I'm sure after 23 years of friendship you can smooth this out.


She lives in another state, I have sent a baby gift. I have tried calling her several times and I send emails all the time to see what is going on and she is on facebook so I send comments to keep in touch, so it is not a matter of that.
KerriJohnS Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Is she married? Can you speak to her husband maybe? Call him to let him know you are trying to get in touch with her to make sure everything is ok because you haven't heard back from her. Or maybe any other family member?

i agree with what a lot of the other girls are saying. I would talk to her before you actually turn it over to the other BM's. What if she did actually plan something... and worked hard at it... and if you just turn it over to someone else that might really hurt her feelings if she's been working so hard at it. I would give it another week then turn it over to them. During that time do whatever you can to get in touch with her... call, email.... whatever you can do. And make sure you leave detailed messages. You should definately begin with making sure she is ok and that everything is going well for her. Don't just jump straight into the party planning questions or you might look a little selfish. If she is busy with things then I would offer for the other BM's to plan the party to take a load off her plate.
Good Luck!
CrazyChris Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

thank you everyone for all of your help. I am going to try and get in touch with her and see if everything is okay and then go from there. I am glad I have somewhere to turn during these times.
DesiBaby Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

do it yourself hun I did I booked vegas and said whos coming

so sorry ur dealing with bs
NikkiR515 Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Posted by Denise10309

I think if you ahve been friends for 23 years, this is probably something she really WANTS to do for you, but since she has a newborn, she is probably just stressed with everything she has to do. I would tell her since you haven't heard from her, and you know she is prob stressed, your other bms are going to start planning something else, and that they will send her the dates and locations of everything. I would also let her know that you aren't trying to take any MOH responsibility away from her, you are just trying to lighten her load! JMO


ITA!
KittyGags Posted:

Re: So what would you do??? (sorry so long)

Posted by caligirl87

If you have a chance swing by her house and see if you can talk to her. I would approach her with concern first. Since she's not responding to anyone, something may be going on that you aren't aware of, so give her the opportunity to explain what's happening. I would ask her if she's okay. I would tell her I am concerned about her and apologize for sounding short on the message I left her. I would ask her if there's something going on or if the stress of the baby is more than she expected. I would ask her if she still wants to be my MOH or if life is just a little to hetic right now (giving her an out without ruining the friendship). If she says she doesn't I would just tell her I understand and leave it at that. If she says she still wants to, then I would ask her what's going on with the bachelorette party and tell her I'm concerned that she's not responding to anyone's messages. Can she take care of this? Most importantly I would do this all as lovingly as I could. 23 years of friendship is a lot to throw away over a wedding. While our weddings may be the most important day to us, I have to step back and remind myself that they aren't the most important day to everyone else and some times life just gets in the way. It really hurts though when such a close friend doesn't seem to be that plugged in and supportive. I'm really sorry.


This is exactly what I was gonna say!!!!!!!!

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