Solo Walks down the aisle????

So I am thinking of walking down the aisle by myself.....

I am in the middle of two parents that do not particularly get along and both feel that they should be the ones to give me away. My mother solely raised me and have sacrafice so much and beyond to make sure that I never wanted for anything, including saving up for this wedding she knew her daughter would have one day. My bio dad has basically been in and out of my life, paid child support and we have more of a friend relationship that a father daughter connection. None the less I have always accepted our relationship for what it was, with a little bit of longing for more of him. However with my mom and step-dad (later in my teen years) my child-hood and life have been great. Now my wedding has come up and made it pretty clear that she does not think my father desrves the honor of walking me that the aisle and that it should be either her or my step-dad. When talking to my dad, because of how it is normally done, he assumes that he is walking me down the aisle. I really don't care who walks me down the aisle because it is not important to me. What I do care about is hurting someones feelings. If I choose my mother or step dad my bio dad will probably be offended (he has no idea that he wasn't that great of a dad when it comes to spending time and having an emotional connection). If I choose my bio dad to give me away my mother will be completely heart broken...again (First time being at my college graduation..I won't get into details). She will take it as a slap in the face and me not acknowledging all that she has done for me. I can not deal with breaking my mother's heart at all because she is my everything. But being that I do speak to my dad and my wedding will consist of a majority of his side of the family, I don't want to used my wedding as a platform to dismiss him. I love them both and don't want to hurt anyone. So I am thinking I will fix this by walking down the aisle alone and doing some other type of ceremonial thing to include all who had a part in raising me (mom,dad, step dad, grandmother and possibly god parents), Thus not hurting mom or dad's feelings. Making them happy will make me happy. What do you think of this decision. Oh and as of now dad is not contributing to the wedding... UPDATE: And Mom does not want to walk me down along with dad because she feels things were not equal and this makes it look this way.

FH has not a good relationship with his mom (long story) but has a better relationship with his dad (who is helping pay for our wedding). We talked about his dad walking him down the aisle with his step mother and him doing the mother son dance with his bio mom. This way everyone has a special part.

You could also have your bio dad walk you part of the way and then your mom and step-dad the other way. If you are doing the part with who gives you away your mom could do that so she has an extra special part.

HTH

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Posted by Bride825

instead of leaving both of them out why dont you have both of them walk you down??

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Tried it mom hates this idea because it makes things look equal and it wasn't equal when it came to raising and supporting me.

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Posted by mbscheer

FH has not a good relationship with his mom (long story) but has a better relationship with his dad (who is helping pay for our wedding). We talked about his dad walking him down the aisle with his step mother and him doing the mother son dance with his bio mom. This way everyone has a special part.

You could also have your bio dad walk you part of the way and then your mom and step-dad the other way. If you are doing the part with who gives you away your mom could do that so she has an extra special part.

HTH

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This may work since they do not have to do anything together.... Thanks for the idea I will suggest this and see how its responded to.

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Posted by MzDaniBaby

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Posted by mbscheer

FH has not a good relationship with his mom (long story) but has a better relationship with his dad (who is helping pay for our wedding). We talked about his dad walking him down the aisle with his step mother and him doing the mother son dance with his bio mom. This way everyone has a special part.

You could also have your bio dad walk you part of the way and then your mom and step-dad the other way. If you are doing the part with who gives you away your mom could do that so she has an extra special part.

HTH

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This may work since they do not have to do anything together.... Thanks for the idea I will suggest this and see how its responded to.

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Good luck!!! If you need to talk FM me!!!

too lazy to read everyones responses since its 2am...
so if my advice has already been typed... then cool- great minds think alike ! llol


have ur mom walk u down the aisle.. and like half way or at the end have ur dad meet u and give u to fh

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Posted by MzDaniBaby

So I am thinking of walking down the aisle by myself.....

I am in the middle of two parents that do not particularly get along and both feel that they should be the ones to give me away. My mother solely raised me and have sacrafice so much and beyond to make sure that I never wanted for anything, including saving up for this wedding she knew her daughter would have one day. My bio dad has basically been in and out of my life, paid child support and we have more of a friend relationship that a father daughter connection. None the less I have always accepted our relationship for what it was, with a little bit of longing for more of him. However with my mom and step-dad (later in my teen years) my child-hood and life have been great. Now my wedding has come up and made it pretty clear that she does not think my father desrves the honor of walking me that the aisle and that it should be either her or my step-dad. When talking to my dad, because of how it is normally done, he assumes that he is walking me down the aisle. I really don't care who walks me down the aisle because it is not important to me. What I do care about is hurting someones feelings. If I choose my mother or step dad my bio dad will probably be offended (he has no idea that he wasn't that great of a dad when it comes to spending time and having an emotional connection). If I choose my bio dad to give me away my mother will be completely heart broken...again (First time being at my college graduation..I won't get into details). She will take it as a slap in the face and me not acknowledging all that she has done for me. I can not deal with breaking my mother's heart at all because she is my everything. But being that I do speak to my dad and my wedding will consist of a majority of his side of the family, I don't want to used my wedding as a platform to dismiss him. I love them both and don't want to hurt anyone. So I am thinking I will fix this by walking down the aisle alone and doing some other type of ceremonial thing to include all who had a part in raising me (mom,dad, step dad, grandmother and possibly god parents), Thus not hurting mom or dad's feelings. Making them happy will make me happy. What do you think of this decision. Oh and as of now dad is not contributing to the wedding... UPDATE: And Mom does not want to walk me down along with dad because she feels things were not equal and this makes it look this way.

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I am in a very very similiar situation...my mom raised me along with my grandmother (I lived with them both), I saw my father for regular visitation but our relationship has always been rocky and there's been a lot of tension...my mom and I's relationship never has been wonderful either but in two different ways. So just in general, all my friends know be to be very independent of my family and it would be so 'me' to walk down myself. I at first was considering walking down with both of them...although my mom primarily raised me, I still do have a father who is somewhat a part of my life and to me, it wouldnt be right to just have my father since my mother raised me basically. But they dont get along and I hardly get along with them (although we'll be fine that day...their relationship and hate towards each other runs a lot deeper then mine and is much different as well)...so basically its a toss up, I think it would be nice and give my life some sense of normalty that I actually had both parents on my side since I havent done anything with the both of them since I was 2 years old (not that I care all that much) but on the onther hand, walking solo would be less stress and so 'normal' for me.

If I was in your position, since you said your mom would feel if they both walked you down, that its not fair because it was never equal (my mom probally thinks this too, btw but I have that relationship with her unfortunately, that im like, ok ma, i dont care at this point...i need to do whats right for me but thats another story), I would do what Barb suggested by having your dad meet you close to the end and actually be there to 'give you away' (good idea barb) and have mom walk down with you or (and I havent come up with the details yet either) but like you said, have some other ceremonial things that they both are included in. I am thinking along the lines of unity candle, etc but not coming up with much. Maybe you could do a mother daughter dance as well as a father/daughter...its 3:15am but Im gonna fm you tomorrow to talk more about this if you want. Good luck hun!

I sent you an FM...

Oh just thought of something else...is there someone (preferably on your moms side) that you are very close with and your mom knows it and love them as well like a grandfather or grandmother...i dont want to sound morbid or horrible or upset you but maybe if you did have a grandparent you could say to your mom that you just want to have this with them since they are elderly and you dont know how many more years they will have and then say to her ' but im saving a special...(whatever you decide) for you mom'...like i said earlier maybe a dance for you and her and then maybe right before that, you could make a little speach about how you thank her for all shes done and say how she is your everything, etc. Then maybe dont do this for you dad (dont know if that would seem rude though) so your mom doesnt feel like things are equal

Like I said before, this is a tough one, Im struggling myself and am trying not to think about it

what if your mom walks you down the aisle - just you two. and then your bio dad and step dad are there at the front to meet you all. so then when the officiant asks who gives you away, all 3 can respond with 'we do.'...but since your mom was the consistent parent figure, she deserves her time to walk you down the aisle and then just have everyone there too so they are acknowledged

just an idea. hth. gl!

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Posted by little j

what if your mom walks you down the aisle - just you two. and then your bio dad and step dad are there at the front to meet you all. so then when the officiant asks who gives you away, all 3 can respond with 'we do.'...but since your mom was the consistent parent figure, she deserves her time to walk you down the aisle and then just have everyone there too so they are acknowledged

just an idea. hth. gl!

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This was an option I was also thinking of ...It may work as well. Thanks

you have time to decide this so don't rush into a decision right now.

Also, are you dancing with ur bio dad for ur 1st dance? My dad passed away so i told my mom that she can walk me done the aisle and i'll have my 'father-daughter' dance with her.. lol. She said no and wants a man in the family to do both.

She thinks that the person who you have your first dance with should be the same person who walks you down the aisle.

Thanks all for the feedback and thoughts. I will definitely let you guys know how it goes. Once the decision is announced.