I want to have our Niece's and Nephew's in the wedding but not at the RH. FSIL lives in FL, how do I break this to her?
Pinkiegirll07
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Honestly, if they are your niece and nephew I would have them at both the ceremony and reception. That's just my opinion, but if my niece were here when I got married (she was born afterwards) I would have wanted her there! Is the issue that you're having no children at the wedding?
KSquared
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hmm, that's a tough one, as it is customary to invite all members of the bridal party, children included, to the reception.
Whatever the truth is, tell her that. It's always the best way to go. If you really want an adult only reception then tell her that. Hopefully you'll have time between the ceremony and the reception so she can bring the children to a sitter - that definitly needs to be considered.
jtgarsik
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hmm...this is tough - because usually the children in the bridal party are invited to stay at the reception...even if it's adults only...AND they're ur neice and nephew. Honestly, they probably wont stay long anyway, but if you really don't want to have them there, u're just gonna have to be honest with her.
Cpt2007
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agree with the other girls. if children are in the bridal party, they are invited to the reception too. are their parents in the bridal party? if so, not having them at the reception may make things difficult for them. have you asked them to be in the bp already? if you are firm in your desire not to have any children at the reception, maybe don't have a fg or rb... tough call. good luck!
SusiBtoM
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Posted by jtgarsik
hmm...this is tough - because usually the children in the bridal party are invited to stay at the reception...even if it's adults only...AND they're ur neice and nephew. Honestly, they probably wont stay long anyway, but if you really don't want to have them there, u're just gonna have to be honest with her.
I agree. If the children don't attend, will you be providing a baybsitter, since your FSIL is from out of town. Where will the children stay ?
My niece and nephew were the only children invited to the RH. My niece was the FG, my nephew did not want to be in the BP. No way would I not have had him there.
GinaZ
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Honestly, If you are having someone in your wedding- it is very rude to not invite them to the rehearsal dinner. It is okay to have the only kids that can attend be kids that are in the wedding.
mariana881
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while the kids in our bp are invited to the reception, their parents will be getting sitters to watch them in their hotel rooms when they get tired. Our reception doesn't start until around 9pm, so they will only be there for about an hour or so. Their parents want to be able to enjoy the evening too. Maybe you can offer to find a sitter to watch the kids later?
kirstenjk
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Ages ago when my brother and I were the RB and FG in our aunt's wedding, we were at the ceremony, participated in photos, and were allowed to attend the cocktail hour. After the cocktail hour was over, my parent's arranged for a friend of the family to pick us up and take us back home so they could enjoy the rest of the reception in peace. I don't think that just because the children are in your bridal party that you have to have them for the entire event. At the time we were 4 and 5.
BTW, even though my FH has a nephew, no children are invited to our ceremony or reception. And we are not having a RB or FG either.
jtgarsik
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Posted by kirstenjk
Ages ago when my brother and I were the RB and FG in our aunt's wedding, we were at the ceremony, participated in photos, and were allowed to attend the cocktail hour. After the cocktail hour was over, my parent's arranged for a friend of the family to pick us up and take us back home so they could enjoy the rest of the reception in peace. I don't think that just because the children are in your bridal party that you have to have them for the entire event. At the time we were 4 and 5.
BTW, even though my FH has a nephew, no children are invited to our ceremony or reception. And we are not having a RB or FG either.
My FG's & Ring Bearer's parents pretty much did the same thing..... however i left it up to the parents. My younger FG & RB went home after the ceremony, while the two older ones stayed for a portion of the reception. After that, their aunt came & took them home for a sleepover.. but again - I left this entirely up to the parents.
lillprincess54
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well my question is that she lives in florida and i am going to assume that probably almost everyone that she knows in the area would be attending the wedding so who is or would she get to watch her children. does the husband family or friends live in the area.
our fg and rb are staying till dinner then after dinner they are being picked up.
lmr2282
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Posted by kirstenjk
Ages ago when my brother and I were the RB and FG in our aunt's wedding, we were at the ceremony, participated in photos, and were allowed to attend the cocktail hour. After the cocktail hour was over, my parent's arranged for a friend of the family to pick us up and take us back home so they could enjoy the rest of the reception in peace. I don't think that just because the children are in your bridal party that you have to have them for the entire event. At the time we were 4 and 5.
BTW, even though my FH has a nephew, no children are invited to our ceremony or reception. And we are not having a RB or FG either.
I was starting to feel like a monster! Thank you. Im definitley torn.
kirstenjk
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Don't feel like a monster at all. You have a right to decide who is invited to your wedding regardless of their age and connection to you.
Since FH is from OOT, we sent an e-mail to our potential guests asking them to save the date, etc. and included a line about children to being invited to the ceremony and reception.
Since one of the children was his nephew, we suggested to his brother to bring someone with them to watch his nephew or that we could ask a family friend to watch him in their hotel room.
You might want to suggest that to your family as well. Put the choice on them but make it clear that you are requesting that children not attend the reception (if that is your decision).
Annoulak
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How old are your niece & nephew? Would it really be that horrible to have them at the reception? Don't forget that most RH charge half price for kids under a certain age, so think of them as 1 more person rather than 2 more if cost is keeping you from inviting them.
lmr2282
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They will be 3 and 4. I just think thats too young and it looks sloppy with kids running all over your RH. Dont get me wrong, I love them to death but I want everyone to be having a good time. Whoever watches my sisters kids (and SIL's) will be more than happy to watch FSIL's. I just want her to be comfortable with that.
tcotier
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Posted by lmr2282
They will be 3 and 4. I just think thats too young and it looks sloppy with kids running all over your RH. Dont get me wrong, I love them to death but I want everyone to be having a good time. Whoever watches my sisters kids (and SIL's) will be more than happy to watch FSIL's. I just want her to be comfortable with that.
Is this a dry wedding? Because I'm thinking the drunks will be much more sloppy than the kids
It's your wedding so it's up to you, I honestly don't think I'll notice the kids at the reception at all aside from them looking adorable all dressed up... I can't think of any way that they would be a nuisance... and my FG is 3, RB is 5, plus cousins ranging all ages from 0-14.
Plus there's the travel factor... you're asking them to pay to fly their kids here, pay to dress them up, they're going to give you more $$ than most guests because they're family and their kids are in your wedding, and then you're going to tell them the kids aren't welcome at the reception (I know you'll put it more delicately than that...but that's how they'll probably take it). If I was them, i'd be pretty upset. Obviously JMO.... but that's how I'd feel.
irishgrl1017
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Having the kiddies from the BP at the reception... is the 'proper thing to do'. But its your wedding so do what you want. If you feel bad about it...maybe think it over with FH and decide. We are having the two kids from our BP they are 2 and 3...I already told their parents its their responsibility and I dont want them going crazy....so leave it up to FSIL to deal with it. Her night will be ruined not yours!
lmr2282
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Im not asking them to do anything. I will give her the option to have them in the party or not. Im sure she would feel much more comfortable leaving them here with her close friends then in NY with someone else. And if it comes down to me having no other option then I will reconsider. But as of right now I want an adult only reception.
LeeLee111
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I wouldnt have them in the weddig and not let the come to the reception.
wundmoretime
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We are limiting the kids to nieces and nephews only. No more. IMO, if I was the mother of the children and was traveling from Fla for your wedding and I think-FSIL? I would be insulted if my kids were not invited to the reception but you want them in the ceremony. what is she suppose to do with them? Hopefully you will be able to provide her with a trustworthy babysitter that she can feel comfortable leaving the kids with, since she more than likely won't have anyone locally. Personally, I wouldn't come. I understand it is your wedding, but it is going to be tough on her.
