Someone recap Laguna Beach please

I missed it. You can probably do it in two sentences - please spare a minute.

I can't actually watch for a while; it's rotting my the part of my brain that filters inner thought and making me curse like I have Tourettes. But only at DH.
I expect Suz or Smara to pick up the slack here.

YOU MISSED 2 of em!

I can't remember what happens in each but.... Alex wants Rocky back. Rocky says he has to work for it. Alex says she is worth it (blah blah blah). They go on a date, he is awesome when they are alone.......

Prom season is upon us - they do the Laguna cute prom 'ask the girl in a really cute way' thing (no one did that at my HS). Derek asks Lexie by putting it on a movie theater sign (side note: didn't Kelan just profess his undying love for Lexie to Derek last week?). Derek tells his friends he hopes that him and Lexie hook up.

They are all going with random people. Tessa is going with Alex's blond Ken-type friend. Rocky is sad cause Alex hasn't asked, and at the last minute Alex sends her this super cute pink volleyball (I want it) and asks her on the beach. Awwww.

I am not sure who Chase went with, but he was there. Not with Tessa. All the people are in the same limo - Kendra, Lexie, Cami, Derek, Cameron, Tessa, Rocky - kind of weird.

At prom, Alex reverts to assholameo mode. He is distant. Rocky calls him on it and wants to talk it to death. Alex is trying to be cool so the 'cool' kids will like him (Ok that is what I think). Rocky cries. Rocky is wearing the same dress she wore to the last dance. Weird.

The afterparty: Lexie goes home before it cause she has dance in the morning. Derek is upset, but then finds Tessa and they go off - presumably to hook up.

Episode 2 - The band

Chase and his band have a really big concert. Everyone is going. Breanna complains that Derek used her and threw her away, just like Tessa. The 'biatchy posse' ison Lexie's dad's boat and they all biatch about Tessa and how she will scrub 'the bottom of the barrel to date all the loser seniors' the following year. Brianna complains that Tessa said she always steals her guys.

At the concert - Brianna tells Derek they need to talk. Derek sits next to Tessa and is talking to her. Brianna comes over and sits on the other side of Tessa....so it is

Brianna Tessa Derek

and is talking through Tessa telling Derek they need to talk. Derek ignores her. Tessa and Derek proceed to make out. Brianna leers at them randomly and is all pi-ssy.

After the concert: The band is signed by a label. Everyone celebrates. Tessa is sad that Chase won't be around as much, but happy that he is signed.

Rocky and Alex go out oto eat and seem very cute again. Rocky says it is nice that Tessa likes him cause Brianna always hated all her bfs. She says she missed Brianna.

Preview for next week: Season Finale! Graduation. Rocky tells Tessa that she spoke to Brianna about mending fences. Tessa is upset and says 'Brianna is always really mean to me' - she then gets up and leaves 'see you at school, rocky'

I will be so sad after next week. No more lost and no more Laguna. Le sigh!

I hate them all. And I love that super fab Ty Ty was not in these episodes.

MTV really stages a lot of this crap (all of them in the limo).

Derrek is another of the uncute. Kelan is cute; Lexie's never gonna give it up to them.

Thanks for the long dual episdoe recap. I've spare DH an hour of whine time.

OMG I missed the Dual last night! You just made me remember that. I wanted to see evil Beth snicker and do her evil witch laugh.

Yes - the length of the post is indeed sad. Especially since they were born in freakin 89. OMG!

Lexie is the only smart one. She is too cool for them all! Tessa's hotness >>>> Derek. Even Brianna >>>> Derek. I don't get it. I totally lusted after uberhot guys in HS (or so I thought!)

You are rich people, shut it