Okay here is the deal. When my FH and I first moved intogether, his father asked him, behind my back when he was going to marry me. I thought that was odd because didn't know each other for that long yet. It was more so they didn't believe in two people living together before they were married. Now we are engaged! We kept that from them for a while, and now they know. I wanted the families to meet, as well as our wedding party and our friends, so my fiance and I are planning an engagement party. Most of my FH family doesn't know about our engagement. Yesterday, we went to his parents house to give them a copy of the invite to the engagement party, and his grandparents were there (his fathers parents who I thought really liked me and wanted us to be married very much.) So I grabbed out of the car the invite I was going to give to them. They looked at it and didn't seem to care, and his father asked my fiance 'so your really going to do this?' I don't know what to feel.
romameansamor
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Re: Something on my mind Help
Geesh, that's tough! I can totally see why you are a little put off by their reaction.
In the end though, remember, it is only about you and him.
Give it some time, maybe they just have a hang-up about marriage or they think you guys are too young/rushed/not financially stable yet/not in your careers yet OR any other 'practical' problem someone might have.
Don't take it personally or maybe approach your FFIL (one to one)and ask if it is okay with him.
Good luck and don't be sad!!
EmberLynn
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Re: Something on my mind Help
We've been together for almost three years! And they use to complain that we weren't married, and couldn't wait to be great grandparents. I just don't understand it. As for money, yes we are tight, but we aren't going to have kids right away. I just feel kinda shocked and this really kinda hurts. I thought his grandparents would be VERY happy.
jimmysgrl
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Re: Something on my mind Help
I don't know since I wasn't there but my in laws have said that in the past too but they were always joking around about it. My FMIL even had the nerve to say to me two months before FH proposed that she didn't think he would ever get married. You definitely have a right to your feelings but they may have meant it in a joking way...JMO
jersee3380
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Re: Something on my mind Help
IL's can be so awful soemtimes. i think people speak w/o thinking
junebride!
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Re: Something on my mind Help
maybe they were hurt becasue you obviously didn't tell them right away..like if they hadn't been there would they have jsut found out by getting an e aprty invite? I find that people of that generation really focus on respect.....
m&m
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Re: Something on my mind Help
Posted by jimmysgrl
I don't know since I wasn't there but my in laws have said that in the past too but they were always joking around about it. My FMIL even had the nerve to say to me two months before FH proposed that she didn't think he would ever get married. You definitely have a right to your feelings but they may have meant it in a joking way...JMO
I got one even worse, the day we got engaged, my FSIL looked at the ring, said 'It's not real, its glass - he's not the marrying type' and went on to insist we were just playing a joke on her, and that she didn't have time for that.
Maybe your FIL's were reacting to the engagement party rather than the actual marriage?
littlebookworm4
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Re: Something on my mind Help
starbright_33313
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otherme
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Re: Something on my mind Help
Exactly! Everyone likes to speak their own mind without giving thought to how it might hurt you.
Try not to worry about it because you'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why people say and do these things. I know they're your future family so you want to be on good terms, but once you're married, hopefully those kinds of comments will stop!
iffer042373
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Re: Something on my mind Help
Oh I know how this feels. I thoguht my In laws liked me and all as well and they do but when one of his brothers found out we were engaged he called up FH and told him he didn't have to get married and rush into this jsut becuz we have a daughter together. FH said thats not why I asked her I asked her becuz I love her and want to be with her FBIL kept on by saying you just ahd the baby in September and now in December you get engaged isn't that kinda quick FH said no we have been together for 2 years and living together for a year and 1/2. There i s more that was said but thats the jist of it and yes I was very hurt by this especially knowing the brother so well I grew up with him and went to school with him since elementry school through out high school
EmberLynn
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Re: Something on my mind Help
I have wonderful NEWS! I spoke to my future FIL and str8 up asked him if I offended his parents. He then told me that I didn't offend them at all, they were upset over their taxes. He was very nice and supportive about the wedding plans and is looking forward to the engagement party. EVERYONE thank you so so so so so so much for helping me out though this! I was really upset! But I feel so much better knowing now that they are happy for us. Thank you all again. I hope your weddings are a ball and have a great time!
