good friends of ours are talking seriously about splitting up, leaving their 5 year-old daughter and 8 month-old infant in the middle of everything. So I was just thinking about the things that are most important to staying together. we all go into the wedding full of hope, excitement, and love, yet half of the marriages in this country end in divorce.
so how about it, ladies--what are you going to do to STAY together?
MrsDtoBe09
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
We always talk things out and never stay mad long. I think staying in love is important too. I can't imagine falling out of love with FH or finding a problem too big to find a solution to.
little34
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
I think we will continue what we have been doing for the last 12 years...
keep each other laughing he is my number 1 and I am his.....just keep each other as the most important thing listen and be supportive keep the fireworks there have date night be involved and not grow up...we still act like we are 16 with one another....we keep each other young!
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
realize that no marriage is perfect and every single one will involve constant petty fights... its how you resolve those fights that matters!
im not gonna say 'dont go the bed mad' b/c really sometimes you need to 'sleep on it' ...
i will most def seek out counseling with fh if need be before any talk of divorce!!
FutureMrsC
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
I think an open line of communication is very important
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
Good question!
One thing we always ask ourselves before starting an argument or fight is, 'Is this fight going to matter in 5 years?' It has helped tremendously! In five years, are we gonna remember that we fought over toilet paper, taking out the trash, gassing up the cars, etc.
Always keep the intimacy there; FH loves to 'ask' me for snuggle time
Keep each other's feelings at the top of the list. Maintain constant mutual respect.
Make each other laugh!
Remember that doing the 'little things' are always important!
Cacarina
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
Its so hard to say. All I know is that, as a child of divorce, I would NEVER want to put my children through the same experience I did. My parent's divorce has really affected me in a negative way, and when I go into this marriage, I want to KNOW its right!
HotAir
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
I think having a life outside of each other will keep us together. I think it's important to have friends and do things separate at times.
meli722
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
I think its always important to have 'togeher time', espeically with kid(s)....just to have some time together and not to forget that you guys have responsibilities to your family but also to each other...also alone tim eis always good and to have a life outside the marriage, so that you dont go crazy lol...good communication skills as well
LegoBride
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
COMMUNICATION is key to any marriage. My FH and I talk about everything. Nothing is sacred btwn the two of us. Most importantly you can't be selfish - you have to meet halfway on everything. He loves sports - I go to all sporting events. I love dance - he'll go to the ballet and broadway shows - its all about balance. If you truly love someone you'll do anything to make them happy - not everyone is capable of doing this.
lookitscassie
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
fh is 24 and has already been divorced and his son has very little stability in his life.
i will do anything possible to 1-fix .and 2 never let that happen again
little34
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
Posted by HotAir
I think having a life outside of each other will keep us together. I think it's important to have friends and do things separate at times.
I totally agree!!!!
longislandlibrarian
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
communication is KEY!
KEEPING THE ROMANCE ALIVE is important.. we hear all of our married friends say... 'see, Kristen? it's because we are married now... i don't get the flowers sent to work anymore' but FH and I both said.. we are going to keep that alive.... we both are..
and as corny as this sounds OUR DATE NIGHTS... we make a point every once in a while to drop everything we are doing and set up a date night where it's like we are going out for our every first date all over again One of those 'DATE NIGHTS' became the night he proposed
Jayla127
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
If and when fh and I have disagreements we work it out immediately. We try not to tay made at each other because it's an uncomfortable feeling. I must say in our relationship we have grown mentally and emotionally. We are more receptive of each other's feeling and try not to say anything that we offend the other. Also, fh is my best friend and I can talk to him about anything.
My grandmother always told me if you and your mate have problems, 'What happens in the house stays in the house' Even if you had the biggest argument theirs no need to let others know because that's what starts rumors and gossip.
xBrunette
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
communication is definitely a big factor in a relationship.... without that you really have nothing... if i feel that we are losing communication and i tried everything in my power to make things work... then i wouldn't get married.. i dont want to put my unborn children in the middle of anything if my marriage doesn't work... thank g-d i dont have children... i know how fighting parents affect children...
Ann 52409
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
1- Jesus first 2- Communication, communication, communication 3-Always making date night time for each other 4-Going out without each other
PoppedInASnap
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
we do date night once a month. We alternate so one month its me next him etc... Its nice. Keeps us realizing that theres alot more to life than sitting on the couch and we want to keep the relationship alive.
stephlovesseyi
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
I think this is an extremely important question.... We spend so much time planning the wedding, and not enough time planning the marriage.
We always talk. Never let anything fester until it gets so big you can't make it better. Never hold a grudge, he says he's sorry, he means it, move on.
Also its important to have a realisitic view on marriage. Its not always going to be sweet, and romantic. Its going to be real. You are going to see this person at some of the darkest moments of their life, you are their support system, and there will be times when we will need to put our own feelings aside for theirs, but also realize, that when those moments happen to you, they may not respond they way you 'expect them to', take it for what it is, realize they love you, and they are doing the best they can.
stephlovesseyi
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
Posted by Soon2bmrsP
1- Jesus first 2- Communication, communication, communication 3-Always making date night time for each other 4-Going out without each other
#1... Extremely improtant!
and #4, having a life of your own is also important.
coley1027
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Re: somewhat WR: divorce
i think realizing that its not going to be picture perfect all the time is a big thing. we both know were going to argue, but we dont stay mad for long. usually we just calm down, go to sleep and the next morning were both fine. we also do date night and go out all the time so were not just laying around. and most importantly were both honest and open with each other. theres no sneaking around.
