Sorry so long - Please advise:REALLY upset..

I'm sorry but I had to post this under a fake name just to be on the safe side. I think my boss may have seen me on this site.
I am beginning to have serious issues with my company and how they are treating my pregnancy. Although on the surface everything seems great, I am constantly getting comments, especially from one particular male to whom I directly report. Apparently, I was up for a big promotion right before I announced my pregnancy which has now been postponed until I come back from maternity leave. My promotion would mean that he is free to be promoted as well and to move on to bigger and better. While I understand his frustration, this is NOT my fault.
He and I always had a really friendly relationship and lately he makes a lot of comments about how I 'ruined' things by getting pregnant. Then he laughs and turns the whole thing into a joke, saying that he would never mean that, unlike some other people. When I pressed him to explain what 'other people', he said our area's Vice President (who is female) told him she isn't happy with the 'timing' of my pregnancy. Last week, he came back from a meeting with upper management and told me that another VP in our department said that he feels women in our company use pregnancy as a way to 'transform their careers'. He claimed to agree with this comment in some ways.
On top of all this, he is constantly making not-so-subtle comments to me that I might think about not taking the full 6 months of my maternity leave. And in today's meeting, when I asked him about filling out paperwork for maternity leave he mentioned that I should ask a certain female employee who has had 4 kids because, 'she should know, she's gotten 2 years off' with all her maternity leave time. This is only one of MANY disparaging comments he's made about women who take maternity leave or those who work from home part time because of kids.
And the funniest, most ironic element in all of this is that I work for a Fortune 500 company that constantly brags about being on Working Mothers Top 100 companies to work for!! I feel like sending this letter to WM and telling them what really goes on around here. This is really upsetting me and I'm not too sure what I should do.
Any ideas on how I should handle this?

First of all, take a deep breathe, and dont let this stress affect the baby. You and the baby DONT NEED this

Its really a shame how women are treated in this situation. I would be extremely hurt and offended as you are.

Think of what your plans are after baby (are you going back to work?) Your game plan may vary a little dpending on if youre going back to work.

Nonetheless yours and your baby's health are FIRST and FOREMOST here, and everyone on their power trips and high horses must stick their noses out of your private life and out of your business. Maybe they havent found the love and havent found themselves at that point in life where they can welcome a family. It sounds like they dont have enough LOVE for anyone but themselves.

Let it all roll off your back. I imagine it's going to be really hard, but whether you go back or not, you dont want to ruin your maternity leave plans. (and dont write too many details about whether youre going back to work, HERE on this board, incase anyone reads it there).

Either way, I think you should call HR anonymously and tell them your situation. Since its such a hueg company you should be able to call anonymously and not have anyone eavesdrop or pass on rumors about your story.

Let us know how it goes

I'm sorry that you’re going through this. Unfortunately this is an issue that us women are sometimes forced to deal with. I would definitely not change my plans for maternity leave if I were in your shoes. But then again I would be looking for a career elsewhere. It sounds as if you have plenty of experience and are fully capable of doing you job… hence the promotion you were up for.

Also, if the guy that you asked about filling out paperwork for maternity leave is your boss, then I would not go to the female that he was referring to. I would request that he work with you since he is the individual you report to.

This place sounds like a horrible place to work for! Again… I am very sorry this is happening…

I say DITTO to everyone else's terrific advice, and send LOTS of hugs and sympathy!

You woman are alot more calm then I am. (I have a tendancy to be short tempered when it comes to this.) I would definatley take this up to the H/R or evene a higher up. This is outlandish. Who is he to tell you that you can't take your allowed 6 months. Do NOT just let this slide. I would have a meeting & include him. See how he is when others are listening.

But first & foremost- DO NOT STRESS!!!!

oh &*%&$. this sucks.

i would say project ahead - but to what - more aggravation? like all that come before me, please don't stress. Stress is bad for mommy and baby.

What I would do (and I am a business owner so I do have some experience in calling meetings and letting SMALL MEN KNOW HOW I FEEL) is to call a meeting and air this out. I would tell them that the behavior is unacceptable, you have done and are planning to do nothing out of line, and if the comments persist, you will be forced to seek legal counsel.

It's against the law to harass or degrade at the workplace for many things, and this is one of them. You shouldnt' be under this kind of pressure, not to mention that the comments made about ANOTHER mother on the job are completely unacceptable as well.

Please try to take a deep breath and think about this as rationally as possible so that you are clear -headed for a confrontation. It doesn't have to be scary either. You are entitled to not feel this way.

I agree with everyon'e advice.
I think that is horrible that you are feeling like this.

WHAT a horrible thing to say! you 'ruined things' by getting pregnant, figures a guy said that! dont give yourself undo stress
they pay you for six months?? that is very good

Tammy - They don't pay for 6 months - 2 months is paid and you have the option of taking 4 more unpaid. Most women here take all 6 months.

I was going to say you work for one generous company! still, try not stress

I wouldnt let that guy bother you
your babies health and enjoying your baby are more important than a promotion

If this continues you need to speak to someone in HR. It is obvious that the fact that you were not given your promotion is a way of letting you know that certain people are not happy for you or about the fact that you will not out for a few months.
Claud and I used to work for a Fortune 500 company that won tons of working mom awards yet we both witnessed a women get demoted very publically when she couldn't fly off to another country on 2 days notice because her husband (who also worked for the same company) was already traveling on business and she could not just leave her 2 year old to care for himself! Let's just say that award forms are easy to fill out and on paper certain benefits/programs look great BUT they are not always put into practice.

Next time someone makes a rude comment just say 'I am sorry if my having a child has upset you in some way but I think that comment was uncalled for and unprofessional'. Because it is!!

first I would make him uncomfortable with his own words: tell him his comments make you feel uncomfortable and you don't think they have a place in a professional setting

if that doesn't work...i agree with Michele...contact HR