Sorry to vent, but is it me???

Sorry to vent, but is it me???

Hello Ladies,
I was engaged last x-mas eve and am getting married July 2004. My cousin/bridesmaid recently got engaged. They decided to have a destination wedding May 2004, the issue is i just recieved an invitatrion from her for her E-Party this upcoming Valentines day night. ANd it has a save the date card for July 10th for her at home wedding reception.

I dont mean to sound like July is my wedding month but it is kind of upsetting me that she picked a weekend so close to my wedding when she could of had a June or August one. I know my friends have been looking into bachelorette parties and shower stuff for me and now they may have to change their plans.

Im sorry im just upset I have waited so long to get married and since were from the same family im afraid it will take away from our day that we have planned so hard for so long now. I guess whatever way this is looked at i may sound like a Bit%$ so Im just gonna have to shut my mouth and not say anything, but i think that will really upset me

Id appreciate any advice or a vent if youve had a similar situation.

well anyway thanks for listening

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

That is really upsetting. I don't have any advice but here's a hug!

Don't worry, this won't ruin *your* day!

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

Honetly, I would be just as upset as you are....
I am so sorry that your cousin chose to do this...

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

Hello fellow Chateau Bride! (same weekend ) I totally understand - there is no reason why she has to get married two weeks before you! There are 11 other months in the year besides your wedding month! But since she is having only the reception - maybe it won't be as big of a deal.
We are having family come in from Florida and from Israel for my wedding - so my aunt is suddenly thinking it's a good idea to have my cousin's Bat Mitzvah 'around' the time of my wedding since everyone will be in. Seriously - if it's before my wedding - like the weekend before - I will flip!!!

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

I can definitely understand how you feel - not that I'm in that situation but I can see why you would feel that way. I don't know if there's any etiquette for this stuff but it sounds like if she had gotten engaged first you would not have been the type to choose a date so close to her wedding. People are weird but this is your family so it's surprising. Didn't your aunt or uncle think that was a weird date considering your family all probably knows you were already planning to get married in July?

All I can say is just look past it and enjoy the celebration - my sister in law is going to be going through 6 months of chemotherapy for colon cancer and my other sister in law is due with her first baby only 2 days after my wedding date so tonight I'm picking a new date in August so hopefully all will be there.

Be happy your family is healthy and that they'll all be there for your special day.

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

That really bites.... You would think that she would be more considerate about the date. Especially since she is in the wedding.

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

I don't blame you one bit and I would be just as upset. In fact, I have a cousin/BM that I'm afraid might do the same thing to me if she gets engaged this X-mas. She really should have discussed it with you, I think it was stupid not to. And not because she should be expected to plan her wedding around yours but being that you are both in the same family, there's the issue of financial strain and travel conflicts with your mutual guests. The only thing I can say in her favor is that if she is older, I can understand why she would want to make sure she got married first. Not that it's right, but I can understand that too. Still, the wedding dates are stupidly close together, thanks to her.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I know I would be livid.

Don't worry though, what everyone else said is true: your day will still be your day and no matter what she does she can't ruin it and you'll have a wonderful wedding anyway!!!

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

i would be truly upset too. I don't mean to sound selfish but i wouldn't want
to share my wedding month with anyone, family or not. I would think
your cousin would feel that way and beside that's kind of rude because i am
assuming your'e having the same guests some of them might not even
be in the position to be giving two gifts around the same time! she is
being inconsiderate if you ask me, I mean she knows you got engaged
first and how long you have been planning the wedding. It's not fair that
you get the short end of the stick only because she decided to have it first
and you have been planning for so long!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that makes me mad

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

I had a similar thing happen to me except it was my aunt.
My divorced aunt decided to marry her baby's daddy. Great, I was happy for her. She then decides to get married in Nov of 04. Well guess what, I am getting married in Nov of 04.
It gets better...She wanted to have a HUGE wedding, I mean the white dress, big band, you name it she was doing it.
I was outrage and so upset. I felt that no one would come to my wedding or that my wedding wouldn't compare to hers at all.
Then my grandmother (her mother) had a 'NICE' chat with her and they eloped!!!!
My problem was solved.
Now as for your problem I could always go and beat her up if you'd like! It may not totally solve your problem but it may make you feel better

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

I can totally relate to you being upset. My sister's FI proposed to her 2 weeks before my E-party!!! It was also the same day as our cousin's Sweet 16!! Talk about stealing HER thunder!!! And they were only together for around 8 months. What would have been the big deal if they had waited 2 weeks. Instead I had to 'share' my e-party with them since everyone seemed to spend half the day congratulating them. I was so ticked!!!

I kind of blew up at my sister and her FI. I hate him anyway, so I didn't care. It turned into a big fight and now we have a very strained relationship.

The only thing I can suggest is to do what I should have done. Talk to her calmly about it and ask if there is any way to work around this. You can even make it sound like you are doing it for her, saying 'I don't think either of us should have to share the spotlight with the other. You should have your turn to shine, too.' Hopefully your situation turns out better than mine did.

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

Wow thanks so much ladies you made me feel so much better at leaset i know its not me now :) I guess i should talk to her I tend to not say anything and then let things eat me up inside (as usaul) and i dont want to do that.
Thanks for the offer Soon2bMrs2004 that made me laugh and i need it this week.

You ladies rock I wish you all happiness in your engagement wedding and marriages!!!
Vanessa

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

Anytime

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

O yea. Weddings bring out the weirdness in people, I tell you. I had a cousin who has been with her son't father for quite some time and then she suddenly decides she wants to get married 'around the date of my wedding.' Ain't that a trip. She did not even try to be coy, she just said it flat out. Anyway I think her mother spoke to her and they are going to City Hall or something. I totally understand the frustration you feel.

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

id be upset too, but people do things like this! your day will still be yours! :)

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

I would be upset as well. Out of all the months in the calendar it had to be the same one? Don't worry, yours will be the on they remember.

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

I'm actually in a similar situation - one of my bridesmaids just got engaged and is now getting married a few weeks after mine (I'm June, she's July). Which is fine except she seems to be planning her shower, her bachelorette party, right around either my wedding OR when I'm on my honeymoon. In fact, she was upset that I would probably be away when she had her bachelorette party. At first I said I would see what I could do, but I realized that people like that are inconsiderate and rude and I'm not going to change my schedule to fit around hers since obviously it is not being reciprocated. I did tell her from the get-go that we would both have to be flexible on attending each other's 'events' and if either of us couldn't make it, then oh well. Long story short, do what you can, (and I know this is family so this is more difficult) talk to her to see if she can understand your position, but otherwise, do not stress over her date or yours. You do your stuff FIRST, everyone else can just wait.

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

I don't blame you for being upset since she will already be married she can make her party for almost anytime.

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Posted by Nessa79

Im sorry im just upset I have waited so long to get married and since were from the same family im afraid it will take away from our day that we have planned so hard for so long now.

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I don't think her party will take away from your wedding. Your wedding will be spectacular!

Also, other then the family you have in common, everyone else (the rest of your family, friends & your FH's family & friends) won't be at her event as well.

Re: Sorry to vent, but is it me???

why is the dest wedding in May, and the reception not until july? do you think she did this on purpose?

this happened to me... only this friend was not only considering the same month, but the same reception hall. figure that one out!