SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

lanamanitta Posted: Jun 20, 2008 10:43 PM

SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

The FH and I are in the middle of a huge fight, literally, he couldn't see the screen as it went on, so it happened while I was signing on for 'fun' but to make a long story short, we really had it out, and I am not a shrinking violet and know what I bring to this relationship . . . .

I appreciate him, but I no less appreciate myself. He wound up calling his MOTHER to tell her it was off during the argument, and me, being the LI Bride I am, was not about to feel stifled by that . . . . what a horrible tactic to use, as if I'll stop responding god forbid his Mommy should know there is an issue.

Honestly, if I called my mother during an argument, she would think it was pathetic . . . . if you're adult enough to marry, you're adult enough not to involve Mommy. And, ironically enough, if MY Mom got involved, he'd regret it.

Anyhow, I made him leave, and I'm seething with anger. I am truly doubting whether I can do this with him. I love him, will love no other as much nor want to marry anyone more than him,

But does that mean I have to work this out? I am so friggin' angry at his immaturity, I can't take it

Theresa2104 Posted: Jun 20, 2008 11:00 PM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

So sorry, keep your head up and take some time to think and process how you really feel. Sometimes emotions are running wild right after and argument.

Take the evening to map out the pros and cons and really decide if this is what you want for the rest of your life.

Also remember everyone has little arguments here and there, its part of building a future together...understand what the other one needs.

Good Luck!

chicky724 Posted: Jun 20, 2008 11:06 PM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

It's so easy to to be totally set on something in the middle of an argument and realize later how your judgement was tainted by your anger. Give yourself a few hours and hopefully you'll feel better and be able to sort eveyrthing out.

(Though I do agree calling his mother in the middle of a fight is REALLY immature.)

Good luck!

BarbieGrl10 Posted: Jun 20, 2008 11:11 PM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

I'm sorry to hear this hun... I agree with the pp. Just take a few minutes and breathe.
Dont say anything in anger.

GL!

shalice Posted: Jun 20, 2008 11:14 PM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

Don't make decisions tonight...
There is no doubt that you love each other...think it out and don't make any rash decisions tonight

think it through and do what is right for you, first and foremost.

lilpiggy742 Posted: Jun 20, 2008 11:34 PM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

i know this sounds hard..but try to relax tonight. Dont make any harsh decisions until you both have cooled off a bit

CNC4eva3402 Posted: Jun 20, 2008 11:56 PM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

Posted by chicky724

It's so easy to to be totally set on something in the middle of an argument and realize later how your judgement was tainted by your anger. Give yourself a few hours and hopefully you'll feel better and be able to sort eveyrthing out.

(Though I do agree calling his mother in the middle of a fight is REALLY immature.)

Good luck!

Perfectly said!

Best of luck sweetie! I hope things work out!

mdawg Posted: Jun 21, 2008 12:00 AM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

Posted by chicky724

It's so easy to to be totally set on something in the middle of an argument and realize later how your judgement was tainted by your anger. Give yourself a few hours and hopefully you'll feel better and be able to sort eveyrthing out.

(Though I do agree calling his mother in the middle of a fight is REALLY immature.)

Good luck!

i agree with this a zillion percent. Good luck sweetie. <3

JoanneAndJustin Posted: Jun 21, 2008 12:02 AM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

Just relax tonight, get a good night's sleep if you can and see how you feel about it in the morning.

Remember, there's no shame in calling off a wedding if it's not with the right person. (tm-someone else on the 09 board who said it better than I did). It's better to lose some money than be angry for the rest of your life.

Think it through, have a talk with FH see how it stands.

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Jun 21, 2008 12:02 AM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

I always find that i need to 'sleep on it' to really cool down and feel better in the morn... when im heated, theres no talking to me- im as stubborn as they get...

Its easier to walk away than it is to fight it out and use real communication with the one you love... If your FH is really the one for you, you'll find a way to get over all the hurdles life throws a ya

lanamanitta Posted: Jun 21, 2008 12:11 AM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

Thank you girls, I went out and took a ride in my Caddy, which is really how I wind down (used to be my Mustang, but these gas prices!!!). So, I feel better, about me, if not about the argument . . . . I still need time to think, because it isn't about what was said . . . . .I'm not that thin skinned ( and I said worse) but about 'Why did we say it?'

It's weird because, if you can come back from this kind of argument, you're likely to stay together forever . . . .but if you can have this kind of argument, should you have been together to begin with?

It's really got me thinking. Everyone I know whose parents split up never heard them argue . . . . .mine argued all the time and hit 50 years of marriage on 4/18/09.

Now that I'm calming down I wonder . . . . what's more important??? Not fighting, or knowing that a fight doesn't matter, and that the stronger the love, the more intense the argument (especially for us Sicilians!!!)

(He's already apologized and begged me to drop it, because he loves me, but he hit that last nerve, which means. . . . .it's not going to be that easy)

dazies1011 Posted: Jun 21, 2008 12:19 AM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

Posted by chicky724

It's so easy to to be totally set on something in the middle of an argument and realize later how your judgement was tainted by your anger. Give yourself a few hours and hopefully you'll feel better and be able to sort eveyrthing out.

(Though I do agree calling his mother in the middle of a fight is REALLY immature.)

Good luck!

I totally agree

KimiDanny1010 Posted: Jun 21, 2008 01:00 AM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

i think you have to make him realize that the calling the mom thing is way way too immature and it has to stop !!!

MrsInglima Posted: Jun 21, 2008 09:18 AM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

I think that fighting, even intense fighting, is a natural part of any relationship. I guess it depends on what you guys were fighting about that would really push me over the edge in one way or another. Was it a seriously big issue that will never change or something that, in addition to the other issues about this fight, that can be worked through and overcome.

Either way, good luck.

oldfriendoflive Posted: Jun 21, 2008 09:24 AM

Re: SORRY, VENT, REAL TIME EVENT > >> > We could be in trouble . . ..

I am so sorry. Maybe you should just go out and blow off some steam . Right now everything that he does is going to get you more fueled. Take hi credit card and go shopping. When you guys fight it should just be you both not anyone else, he is so wrong to get his mom involved. I am sorry again. If you need to talk FM me.