Spin-off to BM dress $$$ issue: Warning, I am rambling on....

I have:

A Maid of Honor
A Matron of Honor
3 Bridesmaids.

They are all wearing different Bill Levkoff sets in the same color. Two of the BMs are teens and MAY be wearing one piece dresses

My Maid of Honor will be ordering the dress of her choice in a plus size (20). She is only a 16 but knows she has to order a large size. She asked me if she could get a 'shawl' to cover her arms - her arms make her feel self-conscious. If she wants one, then she should have one. I love her too much to make her feel uncomfortable. HOWEVER, I originally felt that if ONE has one, then they should ALL have one. Then I come to learn that the shawls cost $75 to make for each person. The dresses are $175 plus alterations. I do not consider that expensive (rather right on target) for a BM dress. But $175 PLUS alterations PLUS ANOTHER $75 for a shawl PLUS anything they will have to put out for a shower and/or bachelorette party in the near future is borderline crazy IMO.

SOOOOOO... My question is... Do you think it would be OK that only the ONE MOH wears a shawl and not the others or even the other MOH? Especially since they are all in different dresses anyway? We do not have to have our shoulders covered in this Temple because it is Reform and G-d knows MY dress practically has ME half naked. I just don't feel right asking them to spend more than they have to.

Sorry so long ladies. It is a day full of verbosity

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Posted by Goldi1021

SOOOOOO... My question is... Do you think it would be OK that only the ONE MOH wears a shawl and not the others or even the other MOH?

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Absolutely. No worries, I don't think it won't be a major thing, especially since they all will be in different dresses.

YOU GUYS ROCK! Thanks for the input. I suppose it really doesnt matter.

'06er FOR LIFE!

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Posted by Goldi1021


SOOOOOO... My question is... Do you think it would be OK that only the ONE MOH wears a shawl and not the others or even the other MOH? Especially since they are all in different dresses anyway?

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Since she is MOH what is the problem? Generally there is something done to have the MOH stand out and have her place of honor recognized. For your girls it will be a shawl, for someone else it could be a different color dress, or a larger bo-k. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

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Posted by SexyEsq

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Posted by Goldi1021


SOOOOOO... My question is... Do you think it would be OK that only the ONE MOH wears a shawl and not the others or even the other MOH? Especially since they are all in different dresses anyway?

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Since she is MOH what is the problem? Generally there is something done to have the MOH stand out and have her place of honor recognized. For your girls it will be a shawl, for someone else it could be a different color dress, or a larger bo-k. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it.

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Three wasnt really a problem per se. There isn't ONE MOH. There are TWO. They will BOTH have larger or different bo-ks from the rest of the BP. I just didn't want her to feel she was standing out for the wrong reasons. I used to be heavy, I know how it feels. I NEVER wanted to stand out. I wanted to look like everyone else. I originally thought that if EVERYONE had a shawl, then NOBODY would feel self conscious, uncomfortable or different. I was at best trying to be sensitive to one friend's emotions and my other friends' pocketbooks.

I guess if she wants to buy it herself....thats ok.

Here's is just a suggestion...what about knockoff Pashminas for the girls?? They are cheap

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Posted by beautyq115

I guess if she wants to buy it herself....thats ok.

Here's is just a suggestion...what about knockoff Pashminas for the girls?? They are cheap

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Thats a thought. The wants to wear the wrap/shawl/whatever down the aisle which is fine if it coordinated with the look and fabric of the dress. I don't know if I like the idea of a pashmina being used that way. It may not be consistent with the formal look I like and the formality of the wedding. If she wanted to wear a pashmina at the reception to keep warm or to keep covered after the pictures were taken thats fine. Yeah, maybe I am a little Bridezilla-ish on this one, but I did let (and wanted them to)choose their own dresses (which they are being measured for tomorrow).

I don't think it's a big deal at all...I would just tell her upfront that although you don't mind her wearing the shawl, the other girls will most likely not be in one. Since they're all in different dresses, it shouldn;'t matter too much. All their personal style is going to come out anyway.

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Posted by Goldi1021

YOU GUYS ROCK! Thanks for the input. I suppose it really doesnt matter.

'06er FOR LIFE!

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And this just cracks me up!!