Spinoff from BHB

The first time they came out to you..

how did you feel?
Did it make you feel uncomfortable?
Did you know all along?
Did your friendship change? Or not?

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Posted by RedHead

The first time they came out to you..

how did you feel?
Did it make you feel uncomfortable?
Did you know all along?
Did your friendship change? Or not?

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I have a female cousin who came out to me as 'bi' when she was about 16 so this perspective is a little different, but:

1. Well... I sort of didn't believe her. I felt like she was just 'confused' and didn't really know for sure that she was or wasn't. She attended an all girl's school at the time also so I really thought it was more of the trendy thing to do than her true self.

2. No, it did not make me uncomfortable. I was a tiny bit surprised that it didn't actually.

3. Um... put it this way, when she said it, suddenly alot of things made sense but no, I didn't 'know' it all along.

4. Did not change one bit. She seems to be strictly into men now though. I haven't heard of her being with a girl since her HS days.

no ones ever came out to me
eta: i have asked people flat out 'are you gay? bi?'

The first time they came out to you..

how did you feel? I kinda had a clue so it wasn't so shocking.

Did it make you feel uncomfortable? No

Did you know all along? I had a clue but wasn't sure, since she was very popular with the boys and always had a lot of boyfrriends.

Did your friendship change? Or not? A little, because her girlfriend was from England so she went there for a while and so didn't talk or see eachother as much, but it was from the distance, not coming out.

I'll refer to the one that actually sort of surprised me, the one person who came out to me after years of friendship, not from day 1

The first time they came out to you..

how did you feel? I felt a little surprised (but kind of not that much because he had come to me to tlak about his confusion earlier..but I really didn't think he was actually gay), I also felt a little sad, because we had in the past flirted with each other and said we were gonna get married. I didn't LIKE him or anything, but I said 'I guess you can't marry me now, huh?'
Did it make you feel uncomfortable? Not at all
Did you know all along? Nope
Did your friendship change? Or not? Not at all

I have 3 gay cousins but only 2 are out of the closet


1st cousin

The first time they came out to you..

how did you feel? Shocked I really didn't think he was.
Did it make you feel uncomfortable? The same no different.
Did you know all along? No
Did your friendship change? Or not? No Still the same person.

2nd cousin


The first time they came out to you..

how did you feel? I knew he was
Did it make you feel uncomfortable? No
Did you know all along? Yes
Did your friendship change? Or not? Nope still the same. He is still the same person.

I have many cousins that ar gay/bi. The 1st cousin that came out to me, is 18yo, and came out to me 2years ago.

how did you feel? I felt protective of him. I hate that being gay isn't completely accepted, and that he would be judged for the rest of his life. It's a hard life to live, where people think of you as a freak, when one just wants to be happy.

Did it make you feel uncomfortable? Not at all.

Did you know all along? I knew when he was 4 years old, telling me how much he liked what I was wearing, and feeling the fabric, etc... lol

Did your friendship change? Or not? Got better, because he knew he could confide in me, and I would never judged him for who he was, and just loved him.

i have never had anyone that i didn't already know was gay...'come out'

I have a cousin who bought a condo with this girl and she brought her to my wedding but still hasn't said it 'officially'

WHich i think is weird but i guess her perogative...maybe she just doesn't feel comfortable

I knew all along though....i said it to my family members and they YELLED AT ME

But when she bought the condo with her...they finally said they agree

I think it's a touchy subject, and I think it's stupid that gays have to 'come out' to people. It's not like we hetero's go around saying 'hey, I have something to say: I'm str8'... ya know?

I think it's uncomfortable for gays to come out of the closet because they'll be judged. As open-minded the world has become, it still doesn't fully accept gays.

My very good friend (and BM) told me she was... I have to say that our friendship didnt change at all due to that, it was more of a distance thing

she at first i was a bit surprised, but was always okay with it... she is still the same person, it doesnt bother me!
has been with the same girl for years now, as long as FH and I have been together...




my cousin was gay(he died in a car accident) i always knew but it was never made a big deal... he was who he was and he was accepted by the family... when he came out, 9from what i am told) he told my parents 1st and they were like...umm hello we know..which made it so much easier for him since he realized it was not too much of a surprise

One of my best friends from college called me a few months ago and said I have to tell you something, 'I'm Gay'. I laughed my butt off and said 'I could have told you that years ago!'

It made things a lot easier for us and I think brought us closer.