Spinoff: How do you deal with racist/bigoted people?

I usually can;t help but open my mouth.and it caused the latest brawl between Fh and I and his FSIL and her DH.

I told him I was uncomfortable with his gratuitous use of the word 'f----t'.

Also, 2 years ago at passover, he was going on and on for about an hour about how bad a certain race pf people are. And so I asked him calmly if he felt the bad traits he felt that this group of peopple had were genetic, based on socio-economic factors, or a big coincidence that 'ALL _____ people are _____'....

H didn't understand the question because bigots are stupid.

I almost always open my mouth. Even if the person doens't want to hear it and won't change his/her mind, at least I'm not being complacent and making it okay to act that way. It's not ok. I won't ever let it be ok in my presence. If more people openend their mouths, maybe the racists would shut their fat ignorant mouths.

depends on the person
sometimes you can yell your brains out and there are people set in their ways...

I would never tolerate racist attitudes in my home..bad enough in someone elses home. I would throw them out as well.

Its really sad that today this is still even a factor.

The most disturbing thing is something i found on craigslist.com...the 'rant and rave' section had post after post of people expressing how much they hate certain races and why they hate them (this was in the DC section). I got disgusted and closed out of it. VERY disturbing what goes on in many peoples minds...

I have a gay sister and I am married to a Puerto Rican. I usually don't say anything. I won't waste my breathe on this ignorance. I definately judge the person. I use to fight and bring up points, but I don't think you can argue a biggot out of their beliefs. I think it is hatred. I learned this from DH. He just brushes it off his shoulder.

a little hijacking if I can...

It bothers me when people ask me(of all races) if my parents like my husband. I know exactly what they mean. I say yes they like him a lot.
But...how come people never ask me the other question? Does your DH's family like you? Because from day 1 those people wished he would have found another PR. I think that is going to be the end of our relationship with ILs. When I have kids, I am not going to put up with their comments about white people. I tolerate it know because it is DH's family and we rarely ever see them, but I don't need them giving my kids any identity problems

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Posted by RedHead

depends on the person
sometimes you can yell your brains out and there are people set in their ways...

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I feel the same. They have problems that a conversation just isn't going to solve.

I usually have no problem voicing my opion if the racism is not directed towards me...how ever when it is directed towards me I get to fluster...and shocked to even know what to say.

I honestly belive that racists are the ones missing out...becaue they are too afraid to attempt to know or appreciate what they dont know or understand....basically their chicken sh*t

being a victim of a joke, or phase, normally i'm just leave it alone. first, for a person to make a comment like that, i already won the converstation cause they are just plain 'stupid' i tend not to deal with stupid people. ignore people or just play it off....

DW and I have been in a situation when physical volience could of took place and god knows how sick the other person is so we just leave it alone.

dealing with bigatry (sp) and racsim is a sad fight but when you look at the whole picture, that person is missing out. Example, DW parents... we have been together 7+ years, just got married and i never meant them once. All because of color Get a life people..or better yet, get a clue at least

these type of people i won't allow to break my 1 life i live

If it were in my home, Id ask the person to leave.

I realize that I can't change the world, nor do I try to. In my lifetime, I have experienced a few forms of discrimination - for being fat, female, white, Jewish (and even not Jewish enough to some) and for the most part I brush off the ignorance of people I don't know.

But when someone I know makes a stupid comment, then I, in a classy way, put them in their place - like a lady.

Belligerence only makes you look as stupid as the person who insulted you in the first place. I recognize the quality of ignorance in people. To expect that a imposed diatribe will cause an epiphany - that we will all hold hands and sing 'Cumbaya' - is ridiculous and a waste of time. People don't change.

I agree that you can't change people. If these people were at all open minded, they wouldn;t be bigots in the first place, but I'd like to make the part of the world where their talk is acceptable as small as possible. I mena even just doing your bets to keep it out of the workplace is suhch a big thing, because it sends message that if you want to have a ob, you're going to have to check that shizz at the door. As long as we keep locking racism out fo various spheres, the pales where they cna go and be accpeted is smaller and smaller. It may not make the world ahve fewer racists, but it'll at least send the message that the rest of us do NOT agree.

It's funny you should mention that janice, b/c I dated a PR guy for while before Fh and my parents absolutely LOVED him but people would always ask about it, and now that FH is jewish and I'm not, I get asked if his folks like me.

I think it's really interesting.

I remeber being in the aforementioned interracial relationship and getting stared at so much, and this is NYC we're talking about, not kansas. I loved it though. We were so in love, we'd kiss and put on a little show for them. I was actually relaly excited by that fact that if we got married our kids would be biracial, and they'd also be bilingual. I felt like that would be such an advantage to them. Although I think it's easier for hispanic/white kids than black/white kids in terms of identity. I don't know why I feel this way, but I just see so much pressure for people to 'act black' or not 'act black', or to identify either way, and I haven't encountered that with hispanic people as much. I've never heard anyone tell anyone else 'you don't act latina enough'...