Do you think that you should name your children after their grandparents when you would never have chosen that name in the first place?
I guess what I'm getting at is that my FIL and MIL expect us to name our first born son after my FIL. Even though my FIl has very nice name its not a name I would have ever chosen. My husband's whole family does this. They name the kids after the grandparents. I can't tell you how many people in my husband's family have the same first name as him and his sister. It sos old school. My SIL didn't name her two kids after her in-laws and my MIl and FIL didn't bat an eye.
Does anyone know where I'm coming from?
ChristineC68
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
The people I work for do that. It's easier for me to know who is related to who, but off the top of my head I know about 9 Jacks and 6 Abes.
Some of them modify the name a bit. For instance one of them named his daughter Mariel instead of Mary. Is that an option your In Laws would consider?
michele31
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
Sorry, but I think it is unfair for ANYONE to tell you that you MUST name your child after someone. It should be a personal decision and done because you and your husband WANT to do it. If I were expected to do that, I would do the opposite..it's true.
My dad was the first in his whole family to name me a name that no one else had and everyone looked around (from what I hear) like he was nuts. 'Michele--- who is that after' was all my parents heard until my paternal grandmother said 'Oh, his Uncle Mike' mind you Uncle Mike was dead for 10 years before I was born and my dad just liked the name Michele (after the Beatle's song) and that is the ONLY reason for my name.
How does your husband feel about this? If your in-laws mention it again just say 'DH and I will decide on a name for our baby when the time comes' period, end. don't explain yourself.
Niecey
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
I think you should pick a name you like for your child not what others want for some kind of tradition...is it something your DH feels strongly about and insists on? how important is it to him being it is his family that insists on it.
I know since we have dated (and we aren't yet ttc) DH insists the first born male must be named after his dad - which is same name as DH! No way. I don't want that and I think there is too many and it is just silly...it isn't a big family tradition or something and not sure why he wants it that way..he really has no reason. So I say ok for middle name but not first...I also told him that I have a dad too and then we will have to name a child after my dad too..my dad has a traditional Lithuanian name (very different) so that kind of shuts my DH up about it!
charliesgirl
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
if we have children my husband wants to pick out our names. Actually the one name that my husband and I loved for a boy was taken by my SIL.
IrishTracy
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
Luckily our families are not big into this.
My SIL is Greek & they are BIG into this. I can't tell you how many George's are in her family.
My mother named my oldest sister Catherine because her mother asked her to. She loved the name so it didn't matter. But, every now & then she regretted it.
jenny11.9
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
I think this is the craziest tradition ever. Hate it. Strengthened by the fact that I hate my FIL's name, which is also my husband's grandfather's name (FIL's father of course) as well. No way no how and THANK GOODNESS this is a girl for that very reason!
NovemberSue
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
Our families don't do this. I feel like its you and your DH's choice to name your children what you want to.
Fran M
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
Oh yes I definately know where you are coming from.
In our family its considered a way of honoring the person with a namesake. I remember my dear Grandmother talking to my Aunt about names for my youngest cousin. She told her that if the baby was a girl she should honor her deceased mother - thus my cousin was named Rosemarie for her Grandmother Rose.
Niecey
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
Fran - I think honoring someone is special --> I just don't like it when people make it this mandated rule - you must name them this because it is the rule - with no logic behind it! and the tradition where it must be after the male's family!! - my grandma, grandpa, dad, etc. are special too but if we need to honor all of them I would be having more kids than I ever planned on!!!
ChristineC68
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
Denise - the people I work for do that. The first son is named after the husband's father, the second after the mother's father. Same for girl's names. After that they are on their own. I sometimes feel bad because the 2 oldest boys or girls generally have old fashioned names and then their young siblings would have more contemporary names. There was one girl here that had to name her daughter after her MIL - Mabel or something like that.
susans
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
I think it's nice to honor someone with a namesake, but I think it's TOTALLY wrong for anyone to put any demands on you in terms of what you want to name YOUR CHILD.
IrishTracy
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
My son is Patrick (after my FIL who passed) & his middle name is my maiden name to honor not just my Father but all in my family who passed.
I wanted it to be the other way around. But I can't win EVERY time!!
As Susan said if people think you MUST name your child this or that. I don't think so!!
It's the same as if they make fun of the name that you have your heart set on. It's like if you don't like it tough noogies it's MY child!!
charliesgirl
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
I know someone whose FIL did not talk to them for a year b/c she did not name her son after her FIL. I know my FIL would never do thatto me or my husband but I know he has always wanted a grandson named after him. I'mpraying my BIL gets married soona nd pops out a kid before me. How bad am I?
Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
both sides of my family and DH's family is like that...
we have Uncle Richie, cousin Richie, little Richie, baby Richie....
to really laugh...baby richie is going into the Marines...yet we still say baby Richie!!!
my grandmothers first, mom and sisters middle are all Martha...my sister hates it...and she asked me to make a deal with her whoever has the first daughter would use it as a middle name...my mom heard this and said ABSOLUTELY NOT...that if we didn't like it...don't use it...
our girls name is a combination of our moms names...but we haven't told them - just in case we change our minds...
the only pressure I felt was with a son's name...DH is John and his father was Jean...I thought it would be nice to use Jack...and my MIL got all upset and said it should be Jean...(DH's original name) but the reason DH changed it in 2nd grade...was b/c Americans called him Gene...why would DH use a name that he changed?
Stacey1403
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
What about using it as the baby's middle name? We used my Dad's name as Damien's middle name. But that was completely by our choice
ILT1221
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Re: Spinoff of MarcellaBella's post about baby names
Posted by susans
I think it's nice to honor someone with a namesake, but I think it's TOTALLY wrong for anyone to put any demands on you in terms of what you want to name YOUR CHILD.
I totally agree. Plus I wouldn't want to offend my mother/father or MIL/FIL by choosing one name over the other.
