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Spinoff on invites & how to address

Mrs. dleeny Posted:

Spinoff on invites & how to address

Which is the correct way of addressing the outer enevelope?

The reason I'm asking (just for an example) is b/c I am inviting my boss and her husband. I've met her hubby once and it doesn't 'feel' right to address it to him.

Thanks for your input!!!


xjulietx Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address

I think the etiquette books will tell you, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, regardless of whether or not you know him, unless you know that the wife goes by a different last name and then you address it accordingly.

Mrs. dleeny Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address


Posted by xjulietx

I think the etiquette books will tell you, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, regardless of whether or not you know him, unless you know that the wife goes by a different last name and then you address it accordingly.



you brought up a good point! My sister didn't take her hubby's last name. Is she even a Mrs.? How would I address their invite?

should it be John Smith & Jane Doe? or Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe?

I HATE sending them both mail! it is so confusing!
simbacat Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address

I just screwed up big time on this one and it's too late to turn back because the invitations are out already.

I can tell you what NOT to do..... If you're inviting your friend and you know she's either dating someone or living w/them, PUT THEIR NAME ON THE INVITATION. Stupid me put Mr. So and So & GUEST !!! Apparently, I insulted a few of our friends and I had no idea I did so. It was brought to my attention by one of FH's friend's girlfriend and I feel so bad over this. I apologized to her a thousand times and now I have to call all the other people to apologize to them as well. I feel like such an IDIOT!!

So don't make this mistake, it will cause you a huge headache !!

What I should've done was on the outside put 'Mr. John Smith' and on the inside envelope put 'John & Mary' to make it more personal.
xjulietx Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address


Posted by dleeny


Posted by xjulietx

I think the etiquette books will tell you, Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, regardless of whether or not you know him, unless you know that the wife goes by a different last name and then you address it accordingly.



you brought up a good point! My sister didn't take her hubby's last name. Is she even a Mrs.? How would I address their invite?

should it be John Smith & Jane Doe? or Mr. John Smith & Ms. Jane Doe?

I HATE sending them both mail! it is so confusing!



I think the woman goes first and she would be listed by her name and him by his name. As far as Mr. and Ms. I think she is a Mrs., but there should be some sort of online etiquette site to help you. If I find something, I will let you know.
Mrs. dleeny Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address


Posted by simbacat

I just screwed up big time on this one and it's too late to turn back because the invitations are out already.

I can tell you what NOT to do..... If you're inviting your friend and you know she's either dating someone or living w/them, PUT THEIR NAME ON THE INVITATION. Stupid me put Mr. So and So & GUEST !!! Apparently, I insulted a few of our friends and I had no idea I did so. It was brought to my attention by one of FH's friend's girlfriend and I feel so bad over this. I apologized to her a thousand times and now I have to call all the other people to apologize to them as well. I feel like such an IDIOT!!

So don't make this mistake, it will cause you a huge headache !!

What I should've done was on the outside
put 'Mr. John Smith' and on the inside envelope put 'John & Mary' to make it more personal.



aww, don't feel bad. that was an honest mistake. look at us, we do nothing but sweat the small stuff. And to think that I swore I would be laid about this wedding!
Mrs. dleeny Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address


I think the woman goes first and she would be listed by her name and him by his name. As far as Mr. and Ms. I think she is a Mrs., but there should be some sort of online etiquette site to help you. If I find something, I will let you know.


thanks, please do let me know.

But if I address my sister as a Mrs. with her maiden name (since she kept her maiden name), that's my mom, isn't it? lol
snowprincess805 Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address

when the woman keeps her own name - Ms. Jane Smith

the mrs is if she takes the married name
Mrs. dleeny Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address


Posted by snowprincess805

when the woman keeps her own name - Ms. Jane Smith

the mrs is if she takes the married name

thanks... that's what I thought too. otherwise she would have the same exact title as our mother.
simbacat Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address


Posted by dleeny


Posted by simbacat

I just screwed up big time on this one and it's too late to turn back because the invitations are out already.

I can tell you what NOT to do..... If you're inviting your friend and you know she's either dating someone or living w/them, PUT THEIR NAME ON THE INVITATION. Stupid me put Mr. So and So & GUEST !!! Apparently, I insulted a few of our friends and I had no idea I did so. It was brought to my attention by one of FH's friend's girlfriend and I feel so bad over this. I apologized to her a thousand times and now I have to call all the other people to apologize to them as well. I feel like such an IDIOT!!

So don't make this mistake, it will cause you a huge headache !!

What I should've done was on the outside
put 'Mr. John Smith' and on the inside envelope put 'John & Mary' to make it more personal.



aww, don't feel bad. that was an honest mistake. look at us, we do nothing but sweat the small stuff. And to think that I swore I would be laid about this wedding!



Thanks for your support...I need it. I'm beating myself up over this

All this wedding stuff is a lot when you have to juggle a full time job, keeping your home clean and all the other chores that just need to be done. Who knows what else I'm going to screw up !!!!
dita531 Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

Mrs. dleeny Posted:

Re: Spinoff on invites & how to address


Thanks for your support...I need it. I'm beating myself up over this

All this wedding stuff is a lot when you have to juggle a full time job, keeping your home clean and all the other chores that just need to be done. Who knows what else I'm going to screw up !!!!


LOL, relax! It will be fine I know how you feel... and I thank God everyday for LIW!!! I would be SO lost without everyone's help

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