Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

anamaree77 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:35 PM

Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

FH and I decided that due to the huge invite list we had, we did not include Children or 'Guests' to the Invites. The only 'Guests' that were invited were Husbands/Wives or Serious Relationships where we actually knew the person.

Now, here comes the sticky part. I have one guest in particular that was a childhood friend of mine that I haven't seen in 15 years. We recently got in touch and she insisted that she wanted to see me get married even though she lived in another state. I explained to her that there were no children at the wedding and she said it was OK and she didn't mind. So, I sent the invite to her and her husband (specifically, with their names on it) even though she told me he wouldn't be able to make it. She states to me that she is asking one of our old time friends to accompany her but I told her that unfortunately that would not be ok because I cut off alot of guests from FH and my close friends and that wouldn't be fair. Now she responded, Mrs. ____ & GUEST!!!!!!! How do I handle this situation? Please help! People are so ridiculously rude!

((I already explained to her that we're paying for this wedding ourself and that we couldn't afford to pay for plates for Guests and she stated that I would LOVE HER GIFT even though it wasn't something off my registry. This isn't really about the money, it's about the principal of the whole thing. I don't mind paying $200 a plate for her and $200 for her hubby, but NOT for a guest!))

anneandchris Posted: May 30, 2008 12:41 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

IMO - Let her bring the guest. She is coming from out of state and probably won't know anyone else at the wedding. If she btought her husband you would be paying for two people so this isn't going to be different in terms of cost.

I understand where you are coming from but it is just the nature of the beast.

anamaree77 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:52 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

I just don't understand how i'm supposed to explain to other friends that have been in contact the last 15 years why they have no date but she has a friend there This just seems wrong.

Kimbalina Posted: May 30, 2008 12:52 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

I would be annoyed too. Especially because she PUSHED her way into the wedding

wifetobe Posted: May 30, 2008 12:53 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

Posted by anneandchris

IMO - Let her bring the guest. She is coming from out of state and probably won't know anyone else at the wedding. If she btought her husband you would be paying for two people so this isn't going to be different in terms of cost.

I understand where you are coming from but it is just the nature of the beast.

I totally agree!!

RadiantBride Posted: May 30, 2008 12:54 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

uughhk that is sticky.... Maybe since she is coming from far, she does not feel comfotable traveling alone?

davenjess Posted: May 30, 2008 12:55 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

Posted by anamaree77

I just don't understand how i'm supposed to explain to other friends that have been in contact the last 15 years why they have no date but she has a friend there This just seems wrong.

If asked (i don't know that you will be) - you tell them that anyone coming in from out of state is entitled to bring a guest.

anamaree77 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:57 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

I appreciate your girls advice and I feel like I shoudl do the right thing and let her just do it because i'm a nice person but cmon, this is alot of money we're talking about and I told her my situation.....shouldn't she, as my friend, have said 'I understand your hardship'???? This is getting me really upset. I have cousin's who have little babies that I would LOVE to have at my wedding but I said no....now i'm supposed to pay for her 'FRIEND'?!?!??!

futuremrsfab Posted: May 30, 2008 01:00 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

Posted by anamaree77

I appreciate your girls advice and I feel like I shoudl do the right thing and let her just do it because i'm a nice person but cmon, this is alot of money we're talking about and I told her my situation.....shouldn't she, as my friend, have said 'I understand your hardship'???? This is getting me really upset. I have cousin's who have little babies that I would LOVE to have at my wedding but I said no....now i'm supposed to pay for her 'FRIEND'?!?!??!

While this is a touchy situation- she is the one that wanted to attend your wedding- so I think you should just tell her sorry no guest- she may decide not to come if you dont let her have a guest, so be prepared for that- but I dont see why you should be bullied into allowing her to have a guest

mariaobride Posted: May 30, 2008 01:04 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

wow chicky this is a tough one- i would say you would love to have her bring a friend but your list is very limited and would have loved to extend the invite to a cousin that was on your b-list

i completely understand it isn't easy especially since you are both paying from your own pockets

anamaree77 Posted: May 30, 2008 01:10 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

Posted by mariaobride

wow chicky this is a tough one- i would say you would love to have her bring a friend but your list is very limited and would have loved to extend the invite to a cousin that was on your b-list

i completely understand it isn't easy especially since you are both paying from your own pockets

HELLO LADY THAT IS GETTING MARRIED IN 6 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited for you!!

mariaobride Posted: May 30, 2008 01:12 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

Posted by anamaree77

Posted by mariaobride

wow chicky this is a tough one- i would say you would love to have her bring a friend but your list is very limited and would have loved to extend the invite to a cousin that was on your b-list

i completely understand it isn't easy especially since you are both paying from your own pockets

HELLO LADY THAT IS GETTING MARRIED IN 6 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited for you!!

i am excited for you too!

jaep129 Posted: May 30, 2008 01:13 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

Tell her once again or do what I did to my friend, say 'Then I expect $200 per person, so you and your guest is gonna be $400.' My friend is not with anyone and hasnt been in years. I told her I dont have $ for people to bring anyone. She knows everyone in my family so she wont be left out! I mean it might be rude but she is rude!

kslmbuggie Posted: May 30, 2008 01:23 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

i say let her bring the guest. you invited her & her husband, so at that point you were willing to pay the $400, it shouldnt matter that she will bring someone else in his place, as long as it isnt a child. i know if i was her i wouldnt want to come from oot & go to a wedding alone where i prob wouldnt know anyone.

GinaZ Posted: May 30, 2008 01:27 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

You should call her and nicely explain it again and apologize that thats the way it ahs to be. People have such audacity!!! And some people just dont get it!

A very good friend of mine (a bridemaid actually) was invited to my wedding with her fiance. her FH almost couldnt come to my wedding cus he wanted to go away with his friends one weekend (whole other story-dont get me started...) but she wasn't going to know till 2 weeks before my wedding if he was going to make it or not. But she didn't want to drive to NY alone. So she was going to bring an old friend from Middle school. i had to tell her no because I thought it was going to be really awkward cus I hadn't seen teh girl in ages. But after i explained to her that it would be werid for me and was nice about it, she understood. Sort of different from your situation, but kinda similar. If you are very nice about it, usually they let it go. However I did tell her she could bring another girl I had met before if he couldnt make it. Cus i didn';t want her driving to NY alone either. But that was our situation. good luck!!

Annoulak Posted: May 30, 2008 01:29 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

Can you tell her that you'll wait to see if there are enough 'No' RSVPs to make room for her extra guest.

Also, is her guest someone you know? Then you can pass it off as if you invited 2 of your friends.

Bride908 Posted: May 30, 2008 01:29 PM

Re: Spinoff to Guest +1 Advice...Need Opinions!!

I do feel for you - and NO so should not have done that after you had already discussed it with her but I think for this situation I would let it slide, even though she is in the wrong. Just dont tell your other guests....