Spinoff to: How are you picking who will get a memory candle?

I want to do this really badly, I just don't know who to do and need a little advice.
I had mentioned the idea to my Mom, and we're trying to figure out who to do one for. My dad is an abovious choice, but then when I get into grandparents, I feel like I should add in some of my aunts.
Then I start to think of some of our friends that we lost, one of FH's good friends in a car accident almost 4 years ago and one on Sept. 11th.
How do you know where to stop?(I know that sounds cold I can't think of a better way to say it)
And would you add them also or keep it to just family?

eta: spelling

we are doing close family members and my Fh's friend who passed away last year

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Posted by BklynBride22

I am only doing one for my father. I feel like I should only have one for him. There are too many other members of the family and I dont want his name to just be another name on there. I want it to be recognized that it is for my father, that way it is something special

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I completely agree.
I am doing this as well.

I was close with my mom's father, so he was an obvious choice. FH was close with his dad's father (and named after him) so that was another obvious choice. But I've had other people pass away that I wasn't as close to as my grandfather (my dad's mother's boyfriend of 20+ years, my dad's best friend). So I say go with who you had really close relationships with.

If it's still going to cause concern, just have a candle for your dad, and maybe add something about the other friends and family here in spirit today.

My sister did:

My Papa
My Grandpa
My Grandma
My Dads Brother
& Her godfather....


they were all immediate family members. You could also place a frame next to the candles and write in additional names as well. I would say immediate family

We were going to do
FH's father and cousin
My grandfather and my great-grandma (I grew up with her as one of my grandmas)

we are also pretty sure we are going to do a donation favor in memory of my grandpa and FHs cousin who died from heart-related illnesses

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Posted by BklynBride22

I am only doing one for my father. I feel like I should only have one for him. There are too many other members of the family and I dont want his name to just be another name on there. I want it to be recognized that it is for my father, that way it is something special

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yup. I'm just doing my mom

what if you were to do 3....one specifically for your father..then one for the family members not here...and another for friends not here

This way you are remembering everyone, yet everyoen would understand why your dad has one..and then you won't have a garden of memory candles!!

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Posted by Chrissywish

what if you were to do 3....one specifically for your father..then one for the family members not here...and another for friends not here

This way you are remembering everyone, yet everyoen would understand why your dad has one..and then you won't have a garden of memory candles!!

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I like the way you put that!
I love the ideas thank you all so much!

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Posted by mycrayon1

I want to do this really badly, I just don't know who to do and need a little advice.
I had mentioned the idea to my Mom, and we're trying to figure out who to do one for. My dad is an abovious choice, but then when I get into grandparents, I feel like I should add in some of my aunts.
Then I start to think of some of our friends that we lost, one of FH's good friends in a car accident almost 4 years ago and one on Sept. 11th.
How do you know where to stop?(I know that sounds cold I can't think of a better way to say it)
And would you add them also or keep it to just family?

eta: spelling

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I'm confused about this as well, where is the cutoff how far back do you go?

We are doing FH's mother and our grandparents...

Everyone else (other family members and friends) will be listed on the last page of our program.

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Posted by JazzyT

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Posted by mycrayon1

I want to do this really badly, I just don't know who to do and need a little advice.
I had mentioned the idea to my Mom, and we're trying to figure out who to do one for. My dad is an abovious choice, but then when I get into grandparents, I feel like I should add in some of my aunts.
Then I start to think of some of our friends that we lost, one of FH's good friends in a car accident almost 4 years ago and one on Sept. 11th.
How do you know where to stop?(I know that sounds cold I can't think of a better way to say it)
And would you add them also or keep it to just family?

eta: spelling

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I'm confused about this as well, where is the cutoff how far back do you go?

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It must be very hard to have to decide who to honor at your wedding via a memory candle. I was just wondering who said you have to honor just one person? Is it possible to get a candle that says 'Remember, Love, Life' on it and you and your FH can remember anyone special/close/loved all at that time. Or maybe when lighting it say a prayer for all of them. So you dont have to chose just one pr two people to rememeber. Just a thought.

I'm doing 4 memory candles in memory of those closest and dearest to us. However, we are having little tealight candles spread between the memory candles to represent others that we have lost. Although there not fancy or anything, we're content in knowing that the little candles are lit for them. If that makes any sense.