Spinoff to how do you handle....

Jenn n Lance Posted: Mar 13, 2007 01:58 PM

Spinoff to how do you handle....

It's so hard to stick with a tight budget as it is- but besides a guest automatically assuming they can bring a guest (when they're not dating anyone), what about people who assume right away that they are invited?
I have such a big family, and lance and I have a lot of close friends. What about those people in our lives (who are barely in our lives) who make comments and expect to be invited?
I would never do that to anyone else, I totally understand that weddings are so expensive.
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I keep expanding my pending list =\

rkl1130 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:01 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

I'm in the same boat and I have no clue how to handle it. We have HUGE families, so that has taken up a lot of space but also lots of friends and acquaintances. It's tough, but we've already told some people our guidelines for inviting guests so that they are not offended when they don't get an invite.

KickinDandelions Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:06 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

I think maybe people say those types of comments because they want to show that they're excited about coming and want you to know that they'd like to share in your special day. Those that have never planned a wedding usually don't know how much it costs and no one can really expect them to know either. I almost feel like my friends just say it because they're happy and don't necessarily know their comments can be frustrating. I just tell them...we have a huge family and FH and I are paying for the whole thing on a really limited budget so we're not sure who, if any, of our friends we'll be able to invite. I usually follow that up with a side comment about how we may just get all our friends together afterwards at a club/bar to celebrate w/out the stuffiness of formal attire

October Bliss Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:06 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

From the moment I started planning my wedding I kept casually mentioning how expensive it was at work, so my co-workers would understand when they didn't get an invite.

For anyone that 'assumed' they were invited I told them flat out that the guest list was limited and/or that we could only afford X number of people.

After going through the entire thing I can say being upfront and honest each time the subject came up, was the best thing possible.

eperlman Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:08 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

That's okat Jenn... you can invite me and not Scotty.

Oh wait... he's in the wedding party.

Jenn n Lance Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:13 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

LOL How'd you know I was talking about you?!!!

eperlman Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:22 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

Posted by Jenn n Lance

LOL How'd you know I was talking about you?!!!

b/c you know I love to party... You know you want me there!! I'm on the 'A' list

alison1daland Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:24 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

I have this problem too, my family is huge! we have constant debates over where to draw the line. i think in the end, it will come down to who we couldn't imagine the day without, and who we feel closest to, vs. those who we don't really have a relationship with...

missalissa Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:29 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

Same thing happened to me...everyone was like 'oh im so excited for your wedding' or 'heres my address' haha im like ummm - i cant invite EVERYONE! People assume way too much and its so hard!

I had to cut my list significantly...people just have to understand.

My friend put it to me this way, figure, if you cut them form your list, they would probably cut you from theirs, so its all good =-)

nmagel Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:30 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

We just keep stressing how small and low key our wedding is going to be. Our room only hold 150, but we told everyone it holds 125.

missalissa Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:31 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

Oh also, we told family (outside of immadiate) that we werent having kids...it cut out a lot of people....they got kinda mad, but hey the kids wont remember it anyway!

snydl40 Posted: Mar 13, 2007 02:40 PM

Re: Spinoff to how do you handle....

Be honest-Tell people no guests if they are not dating someone-tell them you can't afford it-if they are really your friends, they will understand. Anyone that makes comments regarding inviting themselves-I let them do it. They will find out when they don't get invited.