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Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

belle22274 Posted:

Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

This is a question mainly for the girls whose FIL live out of town, but I'd love to hear opinions from everyone...

How do you split your time between your family and his on the holidays, especially if the FIL don't live on LI (or in reasonable driving distance)? We're running into some issues and I was wondering what everyone does.

All opinions welcome!!!

Thanks ladies! :)
soon2bmrs2004 Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

This is how we do the holidays:
Thanksgiving: we alternate
Christmas Eve: My family
Christmas: His family
Easter: we alternate
wenndypoo Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

I know this is very unconventional, but he goes to his, and I go to mine. It works out great, we don't have to hurry from one place to another, and get to spend the holiday with our own families, which is honestly where we'd bother rather be!
I'm sure if we have kids, this will change, but it works great for now.
jessicae129 Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

my fh lives in massachusetts and i'm in brooklyn...so we run in to this too. we used to just stay with our recpective families until recently. this is how we did it this year:
Thanksgiving - my family
Christmas Eve - my family
Christmas Day (we drive up very early in the morning)
Easter - his family
then we alternate the next year to make it fair. its worked out good so far but will get much more complicated when we have kids because of christmas.
IMO - alternating is the most fair since different families value different holidays more.
RedHead Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

this is VERY hard for us, we have FOUR FAMILIES (both our parents are divorced). I am thankful that my FH is so understanding. It really depends on the holiday. Some we drive all over the island and others we go to one (usually my family).
Personally i can't wait to own a house (we have a condo now that could not hold both families). I am really looking forward to hosting a holiday!
marymoon Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

I run inot the same struggle, but it's a little easier b/c FH's family is jewish, we're catholic...Thanksgiving has alwyas been an issue, But he's been coming to my family's thanksgiving b/c I usually cook the meal, etc. It's REALLY rough, though..they give him a lot of guilt over it. But, we really can't have thanksgiving with them forever. Soon his cousins will be getting married too (i can only hope), and everyone will go their own way. I'm hoping that when evryone's married, we cna throw our own thanksgiving and invite my parnets and his, and our siblings..

Janine24 Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

Fh is from upstate and that is where we will be living...
This christmas we will be spending it on LI... we are actually going on our HM a little after the wedding so we are leaving from LI the 26th... I am not sure about thanksgiving... I guess we will just alternate the holidays...
nicknmb Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

easter - my fam
thanksgiving - his fam
xmas eve - his fam
xmas day - my fam

Ophelia42 Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

We're lucky in that both our families live on the Island - we're the ones that live out of town.

This means of course, for every trip back to NY, we have to fit in my parents, his mom, and his dad.

We end up spending Christmas day with my family - because my family gets together at each of my grandmother's (on both sides) - his family doesn't do anything specific the day of. (By my family, I mean my WHOLE family - aunts, uncles, cousins - it's the only day of the year we all get together). Thanksgiving is varied (for that, my mother and her sisters rotate thanksgiving every year - so when it's at my parents house, we stay there, and invite his mom over - his dad usually goes to his wife's daughters)
nferrandi Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

We're actually very lucky to live near both of our families and the fact that I'm Jwesih and he's Catholic helps too. For Thanksgiving we usually manage to be with both familes. We eat at one and then have desert at the other. I think now that our parents are getting to be friends we may all do some things together. My mom suggested us all going out together for Mother's Day.

JZNCK Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

MY fi is jewish so

We do:

Thanksgiving at his mom's (huge deal with his family)

Christmas: My moms

Easter: my moms
passover: his family
belle31125 Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

Well this year we had dinner at our own houses and on Thanksgiving, my family went to his for dessert.. on Christmas Eve we went with both families to parties and on Christmas his family came to my house for dessert... this Easter his aunt is having Easter so I am going there we don't have a big shin dig for Easter at my house any way

philby Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

Have you thought about hosting any holidays? Have them come to you, that is what we do.
molly25 Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

Thanksgiving- dinner at my parents, dessert at his aunt's(my family does holidays early, his later) so it alwyas works out.
Christmas- we've always gone to our own parents houses because we spend Christmas Eve together.(this year will be different now that we will be married), but maybe the same as Thanksgiving since we do everything early, and they get a late start.
Easter_my family because the last few years, some relative of his has been preety sick so they didn't really do Easter.(this year included )
ker1026 Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

Thanksgiving- we split- (dinner, coffee and cake)
Christmas Eve- His parents
Christmas Day- My parents
Easter- we split (his parents did lunch today and mine had dinner)

But our parents only live about 20 minutes apart so it's a little bit easier
belle22274 Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

Thanks to everyone for the input!!!! I appreciate it. I think we've got a plan figured out. I just can't wait until we're married and have a house, so everyone can come to us!

cocoa Posted:

Re: Splitting time on the holidays...how do you do it?

Posted by oct.2004bride

this is VERY hard for us, we have FOUR FAMILIES (both our parents are divorced). I am thankful that my FH is so understanding. It really depends on the holiday. Some we drive all over the island and others we go to one (usually my family).
Personally i can't wait to own a house (we have a condo now that could not hold both families). I am really looking forward to hosting a holiday!


we are similar...since fh is jewish, we get our own holidays, but for my holidays, we run to another house b/c of divorce and remarriage, etc. thanksgiving we split, but we got to refigure that one. i too, look forward to hosting some events. i have had 1 holiday in one place and i had pneumonia!

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