SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

eunicsd006 Posted: Oct 12, 2006 06:02 PM

SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

i ussually dont post as often as many of u girls but i need to hear other peoples advice to see if im really making a big deal out of this...so far all my planning has been fine and great until two days ago.....my bp will be of 4 girls and 4 guys with a possible 5th...anyhow me and this girl were best friends for about 6yrs and it was the best relationship in the world so good weve never even had an argument...wellabout a year ago i hooked her up with my fh cousin who was my guy best friend...well after she fell in luv with him she stopped talking to me..and told him to do the same..and now they are engaged and we talk becuase we dont want to make others feel uncomftable...well the cousin is in the wedding...and the other day i get an email from him saying hey when are u gonna tell so and so shes my partner in the wedding i already told her she is in it....i called him up and gave him a piece of my mind and told him it was my wedding not his and i chose who was in it well he said that hell never ever talk to fh again if i did this to his fiance.......becuase i have to realize shes family and it doesnt mater if were no longer friends he shouldnt have to walk with no one but her.....now i dont kno what to do...i dont want to be blamed for two cousins fued and i want to be able to choose whos in my wedding......sry i needed to vent...all in all he said i was stupid for beign upset...would u be upset?

SN2BMRSBURTE Posted: Oct 12, 2006 06:15 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

If you and the girl don't talk, and don't like each other, I wouldn't have her in it. And if you FH cousin refuses to be in it, then he is acting childish, and I am sure FH will see that. He would only be walking in for what..a couple min? and dancing w/her for a couple min? I think this is just your ex-friends way of trying to get the last laugh, or maybe FH cousin doesn't really wanna be in it because of her, but doesn't wanna say so. It is a tough situation because I'm sure you don't wanna make anyone mad or deal with drama. But...if you have her in it, are you gonna be able to just let it go, or is it gonna be eating away at you on your wedding day? If it's gonna upset you, I wouldn't have her in it, regardless of what FH cousin says. It is not his choice, it is yours and your FH's.

Good Luck

AlBaBride Posted: Oct 12, 2006 06:17 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

that *****...honestly, if I was in your position, I would tell this guy and his fiance to f*** off. I understand your position, that you don't want to be responsible for coming between cousins, but this guy is a major jerk. (Who makes demands that they must walk in with someone, or else! Is this Jr.HS??) And how good of a relationship do you think he has with your FH is he could even have the audacity to use their relationship as a bargaining chip? I would make him feel like the assh*** he is and reveal the entire situation to your FH, and this guys family...JMO, but I HATE being given ultimatums

gaccrrm Posted: Oct 12, 2006 06:17 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

I am very sorry for what you are going through. I would be so mad. Why would anyone just assume that they would be in your wedding party? I wish I could give you some advice, but this is a touchy situation. Good Luck!

Summer842 Posted: Oct 12, 2006 06:27 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

I feel soo bad he put u in a position like that. You shouldn't have to make her a BM is your not friends anymore. My FH and I are having 4 each & I am even friends with some of the GM's girlfriends. You shouldn't feel bad and hopefully your FH will understand.

Michy Posted: Oct 12, 2006 06:31 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

First of all, it was very rude of him to assume anything about your wedding. He should have kept his mouth shut and not give you an ultimatum. If you don't want her in the BP, then don't do it. Don't change your BP b/c of him and her. They' ll just have to get over it. I'm sorry that you have to go through this.

EGreene79 Posted: Oct 12, 2006 07:00 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

I'd be upset. I'm not having my brother's girlfriend or my sister-in-law in my bridal party. It's not that I don't love them, because I do, and I'm very close to my SIL, but I decided I wanted MY closest friends and FH's sister as my BMs. It's nothing against anyone else, and SIL will be doing a reading, but I chose my girls for very specific reasons - as I'm sure most of you have - and I don't think it's fair for people to question that or pressure you. I don't think there's a right or wrong - you have to do things for your own reasons.

kitty1224 Posted: Oct 12, 2006 07:02 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

Stand you guard, who do they think they are demanding things at your wedding. I have to tell you, I am so angry reading this post, because its on you now, F*** them, you tell him nicely that you are sorry but you do not want her in your BP, do not and I say it again do not give in to this crap, you do not like each other why would you put her in the party. If he cant have a relationship with your fh because of it that is his choice. You are doing nothing wrong and you said that FH and cousin do not really have a great relationship anyway. I would be nice about it but do not give in.

siobhanB Posted: Oct 12, 2006 07:18 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

I agree with the girls above..... your FH's cousin sounds like a complete a$$hole. IMO neither of them should be in the wedding party, and they should consider it lucky to get an invite.

And as an aside it pisses me off when people tell you 'you shouldn't be getting upset' HELLO... they're you're feelings! Who are others to tell you what to or not to feel! Sheesh!

charliesbride Posted: Oct 12, 2006 08:09 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

if you arent close with her and dont want her to be in your BP then dont ask her! if he is too immature to walk with someone besides his fiance, then tell him he can take a walk...

is your FH in their wedding party? if so, does that mean they HAVE to ask you tooo????

good luck!

PegaLega Posted: Oct 12, 2006 08:13 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

You have every right to be upset!!! And you are completely right-why should you HAVE to put anyone in your BP just b/c someone else says so? Iknow that there is certain etiquette as far as siblings and BPs but that means nothing in this situation. You need to tell FH this-if you havent already and see what he thinks.

Id tell them both to **** off! But I am mean and spiteful

eunicsd006 Posted: Oct 12, 2006 08:23 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

thank u girls so much for hearing me out and telling me what u think......i hope it works out for me...again thanks for ur honesty it helped alot

MJDoc12 Posted: Oct 12, 2006 08:23 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

i can bet you $100000 that those weren't really HIS words...they were HERS. guys don't give a shite about that stuff-and i bet SHE was the one who said he should be walking with only her..and SHE's been giving him hell over it.

bottomline--these people are being bullies and trying to get you to do what THEY want. trust me, when their big day comes--they will be the first to tell you where to stick it if you tried pulling this stuff on them. kick 'em out and c'est la vie!

kitty1224 Posted: Oct 12, 2006 08:45 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

Posted by MJDoc12

i can bet you $100000 that those weren't really HIS words...they were HERS. guys don't give a shite about that stuff-and i bet SHE was the one who said he should be walking with only her..and SHE's been giving him hell over it.

bottomline--these people are being bullies and trying to get you to do what THEY want. trust me, when their big day comes--they will be the first to tell you where to stick it if you tried pulling this stuff on them. kick 'em out and c'est la vie!

And me and Joe Mamma the girl above will kick there ***!!!

Mooshyboo Posted: Oct 12, 2006 08:59 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

I am speecheless! That is sooo MESSED up! Personally I would tell them both to take a hike! Who do they think they are ~ this is not there wedding it is yours! That is soooo not nice! I wish you a ton of luck what does your FH say?

Future Mrs. Posted: Oct 12, 2006 09:16 PM

Re: SRY SOOO LONG..BUT I NEED OPINIONS

this is your wedding and your day.
There will probably be several other awkward annoying situations like this one. There is only one way to handle these situations and it is with the word NO.
NO NO NO NO NO.
It isn't how you say it but the way you say it. You must stand your ground (no wishy washy with this) You'll be surprised how empowerinng this word is. BE FIRM; people will respect your wishes. Remember.....NO