Status Shuffle on FB

OMG.. the adult humor ones are sooo bad!!!


Asks: What do you do if your Ex is limping around and bleeding in you're back yard???
Take a deep breath, focus, reload, and shoot again
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I thought to myself that I could never post a status message regarding my mental disorder,But then a little voice told me, 'sure you can, ask the toaster' .
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When all else fails, a two by four and duck tape will solve the problem.
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How do you stop a riot in a women's prison? By telling them that if they do not return to their cells immediately, banana's and cucumbers are OFF the menu.
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chicken and egg in bed, chicken has head on pillow smoking.Egg rolls over annoyed saying'i guess we answered that question'
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woman walks in drycleaners with whitestained shirt. 'Can you clean this please?' she asks. the man is partially deaf 'Come again?'. she replies 'No it's yogurt'
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If i haven't seen you naked enter your name below so we can sort this problem out :P
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says I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys-R-Us kid. Oh wait! They have adult toys now! Oh, hell yeah, let me grow up!
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You put it in your mouth you swirl it around, In and out Faster you feel it building up inside a white creamy foam you spit it out and its all over... Colgate
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says a man is a King, a King is a ruler and a ruler is 12 inches long. Now tell me, are you a man?
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is as frustrated as a T-Rex with a hard-on. 'CURSE YOU LITTLE ARMS!'
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4 out of 5 Urologists' smell their apple juice before they drink it...
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I want to name my dog Stains so when I call for 'em to come inside I can yell 'Come Stains!' and see how many neighbors give me dirty looks. =].
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I was going to say what's on my mind, but Kanye just grabbed my keyboard!!!
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figured out why Barbie doesn't have any kids... Ken comes in a different box!!!

there are SO many others that i couldn't post on here..

is as frustrated as a T-Rex with a hard-on. 'CURSE YOU LITTLE ARMS!'
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4 out of 5 Urologists' smell their apple juice before they drink it...