Hi Brides - i dont normally get all personal on here but i have a question. My father & my FH's father are both deceased. but mother is remarried has been for 25 years - my fathers 2nd wife (they were married for 19 years) & i are VERY close shes my maid of honor and i call her mom. My mother (biological) wants me to have step father walk me down the aisle & THATS NOT HAPPENING so how do i still acknowledge him but not as hes taking my fathers place. I am having a very close friend of my FH who hes known for 12 years - hes an older gentlemen (70 ish) but speaks to my FH everyday like his dad. Hes wonderful. Am i wrong for doing this? I was going to have my mom & step father do a reading at the church..... HELP!!! Thanks!
ladycapricorn
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Re: Step-father - not so close
I think the reading sounds like a great idea, if they don't like it.....they'll get over it, & it's your day, you do what you want. I think they should feel great that you are having him do a reading
KRISTIND
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Re: Step-father - not so close
Maybe you can share a dance with him not a father daughter song but like a wonder world song...and announce him with the bridal party intros.......is your mom walking you down the isle?
soontobemrsag
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Re: Step-father - not so close
No im having the close friend of my FH'f i mentioned in the first email walk me down the aisle.
08JulyBride
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Re: Step-father - not so close
My father is passed also.. I agree with you on not wanting anyone to 'take the place' of my dad.. so I had my Mom walk me and had my step-father walk my 2 grandmothers as part of the processional.
Have you already asked the friend of your FH?
soontobemrsag
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Re: Step-father - not so close
yes i asked him because i wouldnt have my mother walk me down we also arent that close - i wouldve had my brother but but for some reason on his part we dont speak & my step-brother is in my wedding party. URG!!!
Sorry about your dad by the way.
KRISTIND
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Re: Step-father - not so close
i know this is weird but do you like him? r you close with him? maybe you can dedicate a song to him or present him with a gift during the reception for making your mom happy all these years.....or dedicate a song to both of them eta: i am becoming a step mom so i understand the not replacing part but i know that i would want to be a part of her wedding on some level
soontobemrsag
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Re: Step-father - not so close
I am also becoming a step mother - but we are not close me & my step father & my child hood was not the best because of him. Hes gotten better over the years and is very good to my daughter but we never had a relationship - hes caused me alot of stress. & not too sure my mother was always happy with him. But i like the song/gift idea - thank you very much!
dutchessev
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Re: Step-father - not so close
You should do what makes you happy. Have that friend of fh walk you down the isle.
Your step-father can do a reading or be introduced with the bridal party @ the reception.
KRISTIND
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Re: Step-father - not so close
Posted by soontobemrsag
I am also becoming a step mother - but we are not close me & my step father & my child hood was not the best because of him. Hes gotten better over the years and is very good to my daughter but we never had a relationship - hes caused me alot of stress. & not too sure my mother was always happy with him. But i like the song/gift idea - thank you very much!
so dedicate a fun song to him, not a sappy one...like the right stuff by nkotb or sexy back by jt....it will acknowledge him but it wont be like omg they are so close!!!!!!!!!!!or play like his favorite leonard skynard song during dinner then you did your part and you dont have to feel guilty and you dont have to dance with him or anything!!!!!! good luck!!!!! ps if you arent that close he probably isnt expecting anything anyway!!
08JulyBride
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Re: Step-father - not so close
Posted by soontobemrsag
yes i asked him because i wouldnt have my mother walk me down we also arent that close - i wouldve had my brother but but for some reason on his part we dont speak & my step-brother is in my wedding party. URG!!!
Sorry about your dad by the way.
thanks. sorry about yours too
If it's a possibility I'd have your mom & step dad walk in as part of the processional (before the BP). It will make them feel part of it and not that it should matter, but also keep people from speculating why they weren't included. They would walk straight to their seats and that could either be their whole involvement or you could also choose to have them still do a reading.
soontobemrsag
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Re: Step-father - not so close
thats actually a great idea too this way they are included but not in a way that i wouldnt like - i know its mean but it is what it is. Thanks - i think im going to do that then dedicate a song to the both of them at the reception. Thanks ladies. This site is awesome. Its amazing how weddings bring strangers together!
