still not clear, whats the diff, between usher

bethsiar Posted: May 19, 2003 12:49 PM

still not clear, whats the diff, between usher

and groomsmen? I want to ask FSIL's boyfriend to be GM, FI doesn't, can we make him an usher? Or are they the same thing?

Misty Posted: May 19, 2003 12:50 PM

Re: still not clear, whats the diff, between usher

*technically* an usher is someone who escorts people to their seats. A groomsman walks down the aisle. But, lately they are interchangeable!

bethsiar Posted: May 19, 2003 12:54 PM

Re: still not clear, whats the diff, between usher

OK so that's what I thought. Would it be OK to have an usher walk a BM down the aisle?
My FSIL just moved in with her bf of 4 years and they will get married when they have the funds...
so I thought it would be a cute, trial run for them, what do you think?
Is it inappropriate to have him do that if he's not a 'real' GM?

Misty Posted: May 19, 2003 12:58 PM

Re: still not clear, whats the diff, between usher

I'm not sure what the difference will be then? If he's walking a bridesmaid down the aisle, wouldn't that make him a groomsmen?

If you really want to divide the duties of groomsmen and ushers, the ushers won't have to dress in tuxes, and would only walk guests to their seats...

Would he just walk her down and then disappear into the guests? Not sit in the front pew? Will he wear a tux?

It might just get confusing...

lulu Posted: May 19, 2003 01:03 PM

Re: still not clear, whats the diff, between usher

He might feel a little bad if he has the same duties as a Groomsman, but is the only one who doesn't have the same title. I would feel like I was chosen out of obligation.

If he's walking down the aisle I would call him a groomsman, but if your FI wants him to be an usher, then I wouldn't have him walk down the aisle.

bethsiar Posted: May 19, 2003 01:04 PM

Re: still not clear, whats the diff, between usher

hmmmm good point. I was just trying to sneak him into the BP since FI doesn't agree.

I guess the thing is, FI doesn't really know his FSIL's bf because he doesn't talk to him. (I talk to them both all the time) so he doesn't want him to be a GM. If I asked him to be GM instead of an usher FI would feel uncomfortable having him at his batchelor party or any other GTGs with just the guys.

Any suggestions? I would love to have in him in the BP, I thought about honorary attendent, but that sounds girly right?

yabbobay Posted: May 19, 2003 01:04 PM

Re: still not clear, whats the diff, between usher

my (now) BIL was an'usher' for my mother...he walked her down the aisle...and thats it...no tux...
(although people sat themselves at our wedding...so no need for ushers)

DH did the same for my mom at my sisters wedding...

if you think the BF is a serious one...and you would like him in your pictures...that might be an option...my mom wanted someone she knew to walk her down the aisle...not one of DH's friends...