stress

stress

please tell me someone else out there is having stress related 'arguements' with their FH? He and I got engaged after on ly 8 months, but having been in several long term relationships of about 4 years, I felt I knew enough to know that this is the one....(I still feel that way). But yesterday, we were trying to register at Target (we are doing target and fortunoff) and we were one of those ridiculous couples walking around with the scanner gun thing fighting! We wound up leaving without chosing anything, and I've been upset since then! I'm sure everything will be ok, just wanted some words of wisdom if anyone has them! thanks!

Re: stress

I'm in the same boat! We're not getting married for a yearanytime I mention wedding things he tsks (which drives me crazy) I'm sure we will fight about registering as well. My girlfriend registered on-line. It might be easier that way. You guys are going to argue about plenty it's natural! If a couple didn't argue that means someone is giving in. Cheer up!!

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COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!!! We have been engaged for 13 months now (getting married in 25 days) and wedding stuff was so blah for him. Just remember that when you ask him things about the wedding phrase it as 'I need help....' in a cute endearing way. Not 'I need help because you haven't helped.' He has been wonderful the last three months because he saw me have a bridal nervous breakdown in the middle of home depot and realized how much of a toll this was taking. If they see you unhappy, b/c they love you they will do anything to make you happy. Make him a list of guy stuff to do and you will be surprised. Steve loved hopping in and out of limos. Make a trip or an event of anything involved with the wedidng he has to do. We registered, we went to Jillians. We picked limos, we got ice cream. Almost make it a 'wedding date.' And a huge helping phase 'You are so good at negotiating, could you help me?' or if there is something you need his opinion on and he could care less say 'I only ask for your opinion when I can't make up my mind.'

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Re: stress

Take it from one who's been there already -- it's TOTALLY NORMAL and will probably happen several more times before you actually get married!!! Don't worry, everything will work out at the end!

tjspidur, you cracked me up and sound like me -- I had panic attacks (I hyperventilated saying my vows and everyone thought I was going to pass out) and several 'bridal' nervous breakdowns -- one of the biggest ones was picking out our invitations! My mother, his mother, my then-FI and the poor woman at the store had no clue what to do with me!!! I think my poor FI was ready to commit me by then!!!

As for registering, one word of advice to you all -- FEED HIM BEFORE YOU GO TO THE STORE!!!!!!! I found that if he had a full stomach, it was much easier and he was much more into it then. Also, if he holds the blessed gun, WATCH WHAT HE ZAPS!!!!!!!

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Re: IrishTracy

I agree, totally normal but I want to say something about IrishTracy's comment about registering online. It is so much easy but you have to be careful. We registered at Bed Bath and Beyond. We registered for a lot of things while we were there but we added a lot online. When people went to buy us stuff they could not get the stuff that we registered for online b/c the stores around here do not stock a lot of the merchandise that you see online (luggage is one example). If people wanted to get some stuff they had to order it online or from there 1-800 and have it shipped from NYC. This was somewhat inconvenient for us since many of our older guests do not even own computers. So be careful.

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thanks guys, I do feel better. That's what happened yesterday, a panic attack, I'm sure of it. I was standing there staring at towels and i just started feeling so overwhelmed, like which towels I zapped was going to be the most important decision of my life! Thanks, again!

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Oh one other piece of advice about registering. Don't let him know the password to the online registry where you can add and remove things. I went to the ladies room and he had zapped a three pack of duct tape, a $100 garbage can, pasta shaped like spiderwebs and a life size pillow of spongebob squarepants. It is little laughs like that that make you realize that it doesn't matter if the towels are blue or green, you found the man/comedian of your dreams. Needless to say, he was disappointed when I removed them from the list and begged me for the password. Some things us girls have to keep to ourselves.

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Maybe the moon is in some strange alignment because I was stressing this weekend about the wedding in general. I even called my boss and asked not to get a supervisory position until AFTER the wedding because I figure I will be preoccupied and brain dead until then. She was WONDERFUL and said she appreciated my honesty and she will wait until after the wedding! That made my day

As for FH and registering, we seem to agree on the same things when we decorate. We haven't registered yet, mainly because we don't need anything, but we probably will just so we don't get things we won't need. I said we would register for things like towels that you can always use and wear out, where he said he could buy his own towels! This should be fun

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Totally in the same boat jpsgirl. Actually, things are so much better and we have 25 days. He saw one of my breakdowns, I think I started to cry hysterically and he realized how much work I was doing and how overwhelmed I really was. He's a sweetie though, but it's hard on them too. They don't understand the hoopla about towels. And I was there, I couldn't decide on dishes for the life of me. When we first registered, we were at Fortunoff's, and it took me 2 hours to pick out casual dishes and then I came home and took them off. He thought I was OUT OF MY MIND! To funny, now he laughs about it. But I have to agree with everyone else, just take it in stride and try to make the most of it. Actually, I have to kiss the person that told my FH this, but this guy my FH knows who got married the year before us, told him to 'ride the storm'. That things will get better after and it's something about weddings and brides. Each time he got aggravated, I would just tell him to 'ride the storm'! We laugh about that - but it will get easier, this I promise you!

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We are going through this now. He keeps saying but we have so much time. WAAwaa. But really the time is going soo fast. I took my mom and we registered without him. I showed him picks on the net and he was very happy with that. I saved some things for us both to pick out that I knew he wanted to pick. So my advice is don't take them to register! A guy I work with gave me that advice the day after I got engaged (he and his x called off the wedding after registering, it was to much for them) and I am glad I listened! My Fi can barely stand 20 minutes of shopping theres no way he would have lasted 6 hours!