stressing and need some opinions! (sorry, its long)

OK, I need some honest opinions ladies. FH and I live on the west coast and we are trying to plan from here. Problem is that Im a full time grad student who doesn't get summers off, and FH just started a new job. Normally we only get home twice a year, once around the holidays and once over the summer. We would really like to get married next year, but Im really starting to wonder if its possible. We haven't even looked at RH's yet because we haven't been back on LI. We are going back for 5 days in August, and Im really hoping to have the hall picked by then. But after we actually get that done, we wont be home again until Christmas, for a week, and I know that I would have to make a billion appts with photog, limos, officiants, etc. And after that, we coud probably get home only one more time before the wedding!! Im seriously starting to doubt if I can pull this off in this time frame. It seems like there are so many things that I would need to physically be in LI to do and I don't know if thats possible. I can't even come back for a random weekend or two in between since I have 6 weddings to go to between now and then as well, which is taking up all my extra vacation time.
So I was thinking that I should maybe move our date back a year. What do you guys think? Can I get it done, or should I save myself all the stress and just push it back? Aaaaargh!

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Posted by cherish83

What i would do when you guys are here for 5 days, is see as many vendors as possible, not just RH. See photographers, videographers, DJs, limos and all that, and narrow it down to two. That way when you choose your hall and the date, you can call the vendors you've seen and liked to see if they are available the day you chose.

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Couldnt have said it better myself! i agree with you!

sorry you are stressing. that stinks!

do you have ppl out here that you can trust in helping you out by going to appts and such for you and then reporting back via computer/phone?

perhaps you might have to cut back on the weddings this year that are taking up your time? i know thats a tough decision, but if you want to get married next year, and going to other weddings is making it difficult, maybe you can cut 1 or 2 out to help make it easier to plan??

talk with your FH and see if he is okay pushing it back to 2009, either that or you will have to make a few tough choices.

hmmm i dont think one is always necessary but in your case it might be, have you thought about hiring a wedding planner, she can do ALL this for you, check things out, and always check with you by sending you info on things and pics so you can approve it first...some are reasonably priced

Good luck

hmmmmmmm, so many out of state brides have pulled it off...

it would be stressful for a couple of days but I think you could do it.

Do you want to set the date back a year?

I was having a hard enough time finishing up my BBA and trying to wedding plan. I made a small promise to not do major wedding planning before i graduated and that allowed me to finish off with my best semester yet. If you are in no real rush to get married, I might have to say that pushing it would be the best idea.... I didn't want to go through the stress of having so much on my mind. I gave myself a full year (school - free) to plan for my day. Something you really gotta think about.

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Posted by Espo22

hmmm i dont think one is always necessary but in your case it might be, have you thought about hiring a wedding planner, she can do ALL this for you, check things out, and always check with you by sending you info on things and pics so you can approve it first...some are reasonably priced

Good luck

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I agree, you could even have her schedule appointments for when you are here so that you can give the final OK on everything she is helping you plan.

Thank you guys! I don't really want to set it back, Im just worried that I won't be able to get it all done without having a nervous breakdown, lol. I have my parents on LI and they are willing to do whatever I need, so I guess I can just trust their judgement on the little things. I just see everyone running around for all of these different appointments, like flowers and food tastings, but I guess I will just have to delegate a little more than I would have liked. Thank you all for the suggestions though, Im feeling much better about it

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Posted by Espo22

hmmm i dont think one is always necessary but in your case it might be, have you thought about hiring a wedding planner, she can do ALL this for you, check things out, and always check with you by sending you info on things and pics so you can approve it first...some are reasonably priced

Good luck

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DUH, I hadn't even thought of that!!! Thank you! I will have to look around and see what they cost, maybe I can squeeze one into the budget

i think you can do it depending on what kind of person you are.

for example - i was not enjoying wedding planning as much as i thought i would so i decided i wasnt going to drive myself crazy. I used all vendors that people on here and people from 'real life' have used and i kind of 'used' their experiences to guide me.

I visited with TWO halls and booked the second one on the spot. I visited ONE DJ and booked on the spot. I visited two photographers and booked the second one on the spot. I visited one florist and booked on the spot. I visited one limo company and booked on the spot. I have not looked back or regretted any decision i have made.

Actually, I see girls that go to three or four places before choosing and STILL pick my vendor so I feel like I made the right choice!

Okay so if you follow that - your first day you can look at all the halls you want to - then if you REALLY want to you can have your date set by the second day and start looking at other vendors.

I know my DJ and florist mentioned working with women they MET at the wedding bc they were from OOT

NOW - i dont want you to RUSH into anything if you are NOT that type of person - if you are going to second guess every decision you make. . . then this may not be the path for you - i am just sharing what worked for me

Good Luck in whatever you decide!

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Posted by smplynluv

I was having a hard enough time finishing up my BBA and trying to wedding plan. I made a small promise to not do major wedding planning before i graduated and that allowed me to finish off with my best semester yet. If you are in no real rush to get married, I might have to say that pushing it would be the best idea.... I didn't want to go through the stress of having so much on my mind. I gave myself a full year (school - free) to plan for my day. Something you really gotta think about.

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Yeah, I've gone over this a hundred times in my head. My only problem is that my program doesn't have any actual end point, its kind of like you finish when your committee feels that you are ready. So I can't even say whether or not I will be done in a year or two years. At MOST it could be three more years, since we have a 7 year limit, but Im hoping not to have to resort to that
So its like even if I do push it back, I could still not be done and still be stressed out. argh. I didn't think it would be this hard!!!

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Posted by cherish83

What i would do when you guys are here for 5 days, is see as many vendors as possible, not just RH. See photographers, videographers, DJs, limos and all that, and narrow it down to two. That way when you choose your hall and the date, you can call the vendors you've seen and liked to see if they are available the day you chose.

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ditto!!

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Posted by Chanwich

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Posted by Espo22

hmmm i dont think one is always necessary but in your case it might be, have you thought about hiring a wedding planner, she can do ALL this for you, check things out, and always check with you by sending you info on things and pics so you can approve it first...some are reasonably priced

Good luck

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DUH, I hadn't even thought of that!!! Thank you! I will have to look around and see what they cost, maybe I can squeeze one into the budget

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i know some girls on here are using one, or at least know the prices...i know some girls said the other day $1500 for a wedding planner, but if you shop around maybe you can def find something