super VENT VENT BP/FH (kind of long sorry)

So I am soooo having a bridezilla moment .

So FH had his brother as his best man but his brother has been kind of an a** lately, won't do anything to support FH and is generally being kind of rude, uninvolved etc. .. .so I keep saying maybe you should ask one of your groomsmen to be your BM. . so today FH says he wants to ask his brother to not be his best man but ask his other friend (a female) to do it. . she has been his really amazing friend a long time (and there is literally nothing sexual btwn them so this is not the issue) but I really don't want her to be in the BP. . she is nice but I just feel like every time we have ever hung out everything has to be about her and I just don't get a good feeling from her. . and also I have no idea what she would wear (my BM is no longer available for sale and even if it was I'm not sure i'd want her to look like my BM, and she's NOT going to wear a tux, and if she wears something different then i feel like pics will look awful and it will be more about her again)

Am I being ridiculous??? I feel like I can't tell FH no b/c it's so important for him to have someone he cares about as his BM and he claims she has always been there for him but I just feel like NOOOOOOOOOO

thanks for listening . . feel like I can't vent to anyone else. .

first off im sorry u r feeling this way...

ok if im going to be honest...u kinda put urself in this situation...if telling fh he should replace hhis bm came from u, u cant hate who he has chosen now....if there is no way to gert her the right dress or if its just going to upset u more then i think u r better off going with what u originally had and maybe have fh talk 2 the old bm and tell him how hurt u guys r by his actions

hope u feel better

first thanks for responding.. and I appreciate your honesty and i prob do need to just suck it up. but to be clear but my smallest concern is about the dress but more just about having someone there who has never really liked me that much. . i only suggested that he switch his groomsman and his best man not that he bring someone else into it completely. . he kept saying I feel more like my other groomsmen are closer than my brother right now, so I just said switch them then . . not add someone completely new to the BP three months before the wedding..

ok now after eading that i say she cannot be in for this reason...if she does not like u she should not be up there...i thought she was in the party already....i think u should just tell fh its too much a hassle getting her a dress and if he really wants to replace then just switch from the original party.


did fh tell this chick anything?like does she have any idea he might want her?

That's tough....while I do agree with Gina that it is only a result of you saying to switch to someone, in all fairness, you said to ask one of your other groomsmen, not ask your girl friend who's not even in the bridal party.

I completely understand you being upset because she seems not to like you...my sister wants to bring as her date her friend who hates me, and it is getting my goat like you would not believe.

So I would probably ask FH why he chose her instead of one of the other guys. If he really is adamant about it, there's really not much that can be done. Maybe the designer has a similar dress in the same color so it won't stand out too much?

Yeah I know I will get over it if it happens this way b/c I do want FH to have someone he cares about and that just b/c I think it's my day, it's actually his too. . and no he didn't say anything to her yet. .

and I totally hear ya on your sisters date. . I guess it's just giving up things we can't control and just try to enjoy. . .