Taken down

JanuaryBride06 Posted: May 21, 2007 10:07 AM

Taken down

Totally edited.

Thanks all!

brooklynbridezilla Posted: May 21, 2007 10:10 AM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

ant n tilde Posted: May 21, 2007 10:21 AM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

nmagel Posted: May 21, 2007 10:33 AM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

the problem is, if you SAY something, you risk losing a friend and she'll marry the jerk anyway. Just let her make the mistake and be there for her later when she needs you.

iamvocal72 Posted: May 21, 2007 10:48 AM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

JessicaM. Posted: May 21, 2007 11:04 AM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

it's a tough call.

depending on my relationship with HIM, I would probably say something to HIM, in private.

something along the lines of 'you hurt her, you will never use your penis again'

b/c I am not in the market for him to like me, but for him to understand that while HE may think it's ok to treat her like that, NO ONE else does, and there are consequences, even if not from her.

I have never held my tongue when my friends were dating losers. but you know as well as I, there are so many reasons life takes us to the decisions that we make, and so many of them have nothing to do with our partners, but ourselves.

I don't know if this has helped you at all, but in closing, I'd say something...maybe not 'no, this is a disaster' but more like 'Jane, this is so amazing. I was worried about you two for a minute with the X, Y, And Z issues...how did you turn it around?....maybe getting her to recall these things will help her see the deal, and maybe she'll have some better news for you...like she stood up to him and he's curbed his behavior...whatever it will be.

I just know I couldn't stay quiet. I try sometimes, but I never ever do.

mtdr1106 Posted: May 21, 2007 11:55 AM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

yeah - you need to sit back and let her do this. he is going to be her family now. just try to be happy and supportive. sorry - i know its hard.

rkl1130 Posted: May 21, 2007 12:36 PM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

I am in the same situation!

It's hard, but I haven't said anything obvious. I have hinted at my reservations about the whole thing (he's incredibly disrespectful of her and a jerk and they used to be engaged, but broke up, etc....) though.

I figure at this point, she's going to do whatever she wants to do and that the only way they will learn is through their own mistakes.

You are a good friend for being concerned and an even better friend for standing by her an being there for her whatever happens.

cindyandkevin Posted: May 21, 2007 12:43 PM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

La la la la...

rojerono Posted: May 21, 2007 12:47 PM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

So I would risk the friendship to potentially save her happiness. If she gave me up as a friend - then that would be fine since I likely would not want to see her in 5 years trapped in what I am sure would be a miserable life.

iamvocal72 Posted: May 21, 2007 12:48 PM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

SuzBride Posted: May 21, 2007 01:13 PM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

I would wait until the initial excitement of the engagement wears off, and then just tell her you are concerned he is going to hurt her again. I would make sure she knows that no matter what you will support her, but that you just want to make sure she isn't jumping in blindly.

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: May 21, 2007 01:29 PM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

Posted by mtdr1106

yeah - you need to sit back and let her do this. he is going to be her family now. just try to be happy and supportive. sorry - i know its hard.

I agree. I've been in the same situation and have voiced my opinion and it caused a major rift in our friendship. We have since recovered, but it will never be the same. She's still marrying the jerk, and I've tried to keep my opinions to myself as much as possible. I just worry it is all going to fall apart for her, and won't know how to help her through it. The wedding is in July and I'll be by her side as her MOH...but I definitely don't agree with it. It's really really hard and I'm sending you lots of

JanuaryBride06 Posted: May 21, 2007 01:56 PM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

Thank you all very much for you insights. I really appreacite it.

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: May 21, 2007 02:26 PM

Re: Serious and sort of long and you know I'm going to take it down

unfortunately, there is really nothing you can do..
I was in a similar situation myself and it seems I am turning out to be right, but you have to hope that she knows what she is doing.. and if she doesn't you have to let her make her mistake and then be there for her if things don't work out.