teachers: guest list question

Here's the sitch:

As many of you know, FH and I are both music teachers in different districts here on LI. In many cases on LI, music teachers don't report directly to their principals--they have a specific music director or fine arts director who they report to.

When making the invite list, FH and I decided only to invite our music directors and not our principals. (I'm in two buildings, while FH is in one.) This is because 1) we both have outstanding relationships with our directors and 2) while we have working relationships with principals, they're not of the same caliber as the rapport we have with our directors. Plus, we had to make cuts to our list in order to get it to (hopefully) no more than 175 people coming. (So far, so good.) FH's extended family is way too large!!!

Word on the street is that my director asked one of my principals if he was coming to the wedding. Awkward. . .because we just can't swing it. No administrator has come to me directly about this, but if they did, I would explain it just like that.

Teachers on here who report to somebody other than a building principal, what did/are you planning on doing in terms of inviting principals? I just hope I didn't create what could be an uncomfortable, impossible situation to deal with at school (like I need that!).

See, I would only want to invite one of my principals out of the two. I'm in the 'all get invited or none get invited' category here. Opted for none for now. Also, FH just said that he thinks his colleagues wouldn't be able to have fun if his principal came (his director kicks serious ***--she's a ton of fun), so he decided against it.

It's a faux pas either way!

FH is a music teacher as well. He is split between 3 schools...yeah! Anyway, he invited one principal and two other band teachers. Not the entire department or the music director because they aren't close, same with the other two school principals. I think whatever you do is ok.

I can ask FBIL/FSIL who was at their wedding, they are both music teachers as well.

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Posted by seawedding

FH is a music teacher as well. He is split between 3 schools...yeah! Anyway, he invited one principal and two other band teachers. Not the entire department or the music director because they aren't close, same with the other two school principals. I think whatever you do is ok.

I can ask FBIL/FSIL who was at their wedding, they are both music teachers as well.

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. . .I know both of them!!! I took one look at your FH and knew RIGHT AWAY who your FBIL is. Your FSIL works in the district next door to me!!! We both know each other from orchestra teacher stuff!!!

HAHA yeah I'm marrying Danny and Dan and Eric look very much alike, etc, etc...everyone knows the Mordhorsts lol. Their Dad's a music teacher too (Orchestra) and their baby is my adorable flower girl and Candice is playing bass at the wedding with the trio :) Dan and Candice worked in Freeport together last year actually. He's in lawrence this year but being excessed and just interviewed in Lynbrook and is about to interview in Farmingdale and Catchogue (sp?)

Seriously though, I wouldn't sweat it at all. People tend to understand weird guest list stuff.

One of my BMs, a fellow music teacher, is being a real pain in the arse about my not inviting principals. She's single and in the time we've been friends (about 5 years) hasn't been in a relationship. I don't think she quite understands when I say that cuts have to be made somewhere.

Candace is awesome!!! And yes, your FH looks a LOT like Eric.

I heard about all of the cuts in Lawrence--Cindy E. was telling me all about them a few weeks ago (another building being closed). There are so few jobs out there for band teachers, especially now. . .so I REALLY hopes he finds something!!! My FH teaches in one of the only two districts with a failed budget this year (hint: not the one that tried to pass a 26% increase), and at first, they were planning on cutting his position along with 10 of his music colleagues. Luckily, they saved his job, but a lot of people aren't so lucky now. Fingers crossed! The fact that he has experience puts him in a different league from other just out of college applicants!!!

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Posted by mlcvln129

One of my BMs, a fellow music teacher, is being a real pain in the arse about my not inviting principals. She's single and in the time we've been friends (about 5 years) hasn't been in a relationship. I don't think she quite understands when I say that cuts have to be made somewhere.

Candace is awesome!!! And yes, your FH looks a LOT like Eric.

I heard about all of the cuts in Lawrence--Cindy E. was telling me all about them a few weeks ago (another building being closed). There are so few jobs out there for band teachers, especially now. . .so I REALLY hopes he finds something!!! My FH teaches in one of the only two districts with a failed budget this year (hint: not the one that tried to pass a 26% increase), and at first, they were planning on cutting his position along with 10 of his music colleagues. Luckily, they saved his job, but a lot of people aren't so lucky now. Fingers crossed! The fact that he has experience puts him in a different league from other just out of college applicants!!!

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That's good for him then because it's so scary when you're limited to teaching music and his piano honestly is terrible which came up on his Herricks interview :( (Hey at least he got a Herricks interview) But yeah they're closing the elementary school and cutting the music program way back and because he is one of two teachers without tenure and lowest seniority he's axed even though he works at all three schools and it's the same amount of kids. I'm really happy to hear your FH is safe though we're sitting on pins and needles with Dan. We know someone in Huntington and someone in Levittown who got excessed as well from music positions who he ran into at interviews.

I don't think you need to worry about your BM, it's your day and unless she wants to pay for everyone it isn't up to her to open her fat mouth.

We invited my principals...none of them came though, we did it as a show of respect more than anything else and I didn't really expect them to come. If you do invite them remember that they may not attend...because if they go to yours they'd have to go to everyone's and that could get awkward...so you may be safe lol

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Posted by Almostawife

I teach in a high school so inviting my principal was never a thought. I am inviting my director and my department colleagues

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I just clicked on your profile. I was in your street law class in 10th grade ;)

This is such a catch 22 either way. My mother, a special education assistant, even said that principals get invited to EVERYTHING and that it's not a big deal if I don't invite them given the nature of my position (that I travel between two buildings).

If one of my principals is truly upset about this, why don't they come to me personally? If this is indeed true (that one principal asked my director about it), then why not have the professional courtesy to ask me? I have a solid explanation, which I hope that he would be mature enough to understand. Plenty of my colleagues haven't invited their principals to the wedding. We HAD to invite our directors (and wanted to), and felt that our directors would represent the administration well at the wedding.

P.S. The only reason why this BM cares is because she has a crush on this principal (even though she teaches at another school) and has been HOUNDING ME since Day 1 about inviting him. I made it VERY clear that we were only inviting our directors, and she got all pissy. (There's a looooooong story behind her and this principal (nothing scandalous, though--a staffing thing). . .but that would take up way too much space here. LOL!!!!)

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Posted by seawedding

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Posted by Almostawife

I teach in a high school so inviting my principal was never a thought. I am inviting my director and my department colleagues

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I just clicked on your profile. I was in your street law class in 10th grade ;)

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funny, you're the second former student who found me on here... can't quite see your face from your pics