My BIL & SIL are PG, and when they had their first baby, they found out the sex of the child, but MIL did not want to know, so BIL & SIL could not refer to the baby as her name around MIL. IMO this is ridicoulous, why should they have to call her it, when MIL is around.
So now with child #2, they won't be telling anyone on BIL's side of the family because of this. And also becasue thier sister told my FIL they were having a girl, even though he didn't want to know.
I told my DH that when we have a baby, I will know the sex, I will refer to the baby as a he or she, not an it, and if MIL doesn't like it, she can stay away from me for 9 months!!!
ChristineC68
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
I think other people should respect the couple's decision.
NYCHICK
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
Under absolutely NO CIRCUMSTANCES will I refer to any child, let alone my own, as an 'it'(remeber that stephen King movie). That is ridiculous and insulting. Besides the english language has some machismo. You can refer to the child as 'him'. That is insanse. No way would I disrespect my child, that has not come into the world yet.
BMD'sPeanut
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Posted by shelzyp
I told my DH that when we have a baby, I will know the sex, I will refer to the baby as a he or she, not an it, and if MIL doesn't like it, she can stay away from me for 9 months!!!
I think you let yourself be bothered by unimportant things... What's wrong with respecting your mother (or MIL's) wishes when she is around? This quote seems a little harsh...Can't you refer to the child as 'the child' or 'the baby' for the few times you might talk about the pregnancy around the woman? Maybe she won't want to know to the gender of your baby anyway.
Jordan
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
Posted by ChristineC68
I think other people should respect the couple's decision.
Exactly. I don't know why the other people become more important than the couple and their wishes.
I made the mistake of referring to my sister's bean as 'it' once. She no likey.
shelzyp
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
Posted by CIMINOK
Posted by shelzyp
I told my DH that when we have a baby, I will know the sex, I will refer to the baby as a he or she, not an it, and if MIL doesn't like it, she can stay away from me for 9 months!!!
I think you let yourself be bothered by unimportant things... What's wrong with respecting your mother (or MIL's) wishes when she is around? This quote seems a little harsh...Can't you refer to the child as 'the child' or 'the baby' for the few times you might talk about the pregnancy around the woman? Maybe she won't want to know to the gender of your baby anyway.
I think you post on my threads just to stir the pot, stay off my threads, and stop trying to cause drama.
shelzyp
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
Posted by Jordan
Posted by ChristineC68
I think other people should respect the couple's decision.
Exactly. I don't know why the other people become more important than the couple and their wishes.
I made the mistake of referring to my sister's bean as 'it' once. She no likey.
I would not tell MIL what the sex of my BIL's child was, but I will not watch what I say about my future unborn child.
I like the fact of aling a child by it's name, if you have one picked out, instead of baby, it, etc.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
Posted by shelzyp
Posted by CIMINOK
Posted by shelzyp
I told my DH that when we have a baby, I will know the sex, I will refer to the baby as a he or she, not an it, and if MIL doesn't like it, she can stay away from me for 9 months!!!
I think you let yourself be bothered by unimportant things... What's wrong with respecting your mother (or MIL's) wishes when she is around? This quote seems a little harsh...Can't you refer to the child as 'the child' or 'the baby' for the few times you might talk about the pregnancy around the woman? Maybe she won't want to know to the gender of your baby anyway.
I don't think that's fair. You posted a question and I posted a response.
I think you post on my threads just to stir the pot, stay off my threads, and stop trying to cause drama.
julz33
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
I think that a couple should refer to their baby however they want. If I knew I was having a girl, I would use the words girl, she, her. Too bad if other people don't want to know. It isn't their baby or their choice.
Jordan
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
I think you should be able to refer to your unborn child as you see fit. We know the sex of my sister's baby - but we all still call her bean. I think she will forever be my lil' bean.
lullabella
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
Posted by shelzyp
I told my DH that when we have a baby, I will know the sex, I will refer to the baby as a he or she, not an it, and if MIL doesn't like it, she can stay away from me for 9 months!!!
Sounds like you don't really like your FMIL.
shelzyp
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
Posted by lullabella
Posted by shelzyp
I told my DH that when we have a baby, I will know the sex, I will refer to the baby as a he or she, not an it, and if MIL doesn't like it, she can stay away from me for 9 months!!!
Sounds like you don't really like your FMIL.
It has nothing to do with liking her or not, I do like her, I just don't think I should have to censor myself about my child (when that time comes) becasue she doesn't want to know the sex. I don't think what she is doing is fair to my SIL, and my SIL agrees.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
I still think that if it meant a lot to the woman to not know the sex, you could extend her that courtesy ---but that's JMO. (Unless of course shes's a BBB who's given you nothing but grief, in that case, screw her!)
peeweesgirl
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
I would refer to the child as the baby it's such an exciting experience for everyone so I personally would refer to my child as the baby or whatever other term of endearment so that my MIL or MOM would be suprised it is the least I could do for them !
Xelindrya
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
What I dont get is why doesn't she want to know? So she can be surprised? *shrug*
I'd probably slip up at one point and say he/she and I don't think I'd appreicate it if my MIL were to say 'I didn't want to know that'.
I think it's a bit silly but that's just my opinion. It's my kid, my pregnancy, let me be happy and bubbly walking around about how my baby girl/boy is doing. Its a huge step in life, enjoy it when it happens.
lullabella
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
Posted by peeweesgirl
I would refer to the child as the baby it's such an exciting experience for everyone so I personally would refer to my child as the baby or whatever other term of endearment so that my MIL or MOM would be suprised it is the least I could do for them !
I agree, I would do the same.... There are very few surprised in life and this is one of them. If it meant that much to her I would try my best to keep a secret. Or I would try to trick her and tell her it was a BOY and then O it is a GIRL.
Niecey
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
wouldn't MIL know when you/SIL registered for girl or boy stuff anyway? or on the shower invite? how can she really expect no one to slip...
I see both sides....while I would think MIL should respect the descision, I understand her wanting to be surprised in the old-fashioned way. Personally, I would try to oblige MIL's wishes because I can understand the surprise element but I would let her know I would try and if I slip oh well. But I am sure it would be hard. To me it wouldn't be too big of a deal if she requested that and I could totally see my MIL requesting that even if I found out.
shelzyp
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Re: Tell me if you think this is ridicoulous??
Posted by Niecey
wouldn't MIL know when you/SIL registered for girl or boy stuff anyway? or on the shower invite? how can she really expect no one to slip...
I see both sides....while I would think MIL should respect the descision, I understand her wanting to be surprised in the old-fashioned way. Personally, I would try to oblige MIL's wishes because I can understand the surprise element but I would let her know I would try and if I slip oh well. But I am sure it would be hard. To me it wouldn't be too big of a deal if she requested that and I could totally see my MIL requesting that even if I found out.
SIL lives in NC, and we live on LI, SIL's parents live in lockport. So they didn't have a shower for their first child. And anyway, we are both still waiting for shower gifts for our weddings!!
