tell me if you think this is rude......

at our reception we are having no children except the 3 flowergirls. We invited my FI friens who lives in SC, FI grew up with him. So on the invitaion it said Mr & Mrs Xxxxx and on the inner envelpoe I wrote there names I get tthe response back today and its says on the accepts line 3!!!! They are bringing there daughter!!! How do I tell them that they cant bring there daughter without being rude. I cant believe they did that.

it's all in the tone.

If you call and say, 'ummmmmm. I saw that you wrote 3. We aren't having kids at the reception.' they'll get pissed.

This is what I used (on several people)

'Hi Mary. How are you??? What's going on? blah blah. I'm SO HAPPY you're coming to the wedding. The only thing is, as much as we wanted to see all the kids, because my FH's side has so many kids, we had to do with an 'adult only' reception. I'm SO SORRY. I can't wait to see little Johnny. Maybe when FH and I are back from our honeymoon we can visit. Will you and Bill still be able to attend the wedding?'

(remember to ask if they can STILL attend. Some may want to back out after hearing about the 'no kids' policy, but if you get their confirmation on the phone, they'll be less likely to no-show.

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Posted by suven

it's all in the tone.

If you call and say, 'ummmmmm. I saw that you wrote 3. We aren't having kids at the reception.' they'll get pissed.

This is what I used (on several people)

'Hi Mary. How are you??? What's going on? blah blah. I'm SO HAPPY you're coming to the wedding. The only thing is, as much as we wanted to see all the kids, because my FH's side has so many kids, we had to do with an 'adult only' reception. I'm SO SORRY. I can't wait to see little Johnny. Maybe when FH and I are back from our honeymoon we can visit. Will you and Bill still be able to attend the wedding?'

(remember to ask if they can STILL attend. Some may want to back out after hearing about the 'no kids' policy, but if you get their confirmation on the phone, they'll be less likely to no-show.

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wow thats a good way to do it!

Perfecto!!!

You must be in customer service! :)

Yes that is perfect, but no matter how nice you are, people always get offended when it comes to the kids.

People are so rude. I don't understand how you could do something like that!!!!

Suven - Wow! What a great way to handle it!

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Posted by sdicarlo

Suven - Wow! What a great way to handle it!

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It took lots of practice! (Mind you, as I said all of this to the guests...in my head, I just kept thinking 'what the hell is wrong with you people? What was UNCLEAR about MR. and MRS. JONES???')

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Posted by Mickey3722

at our reception we are having no children except the 3 flowergirls. We invited my FI friens who lives in SC, FI grew up with him. So on the invitaion it said Mr & Mrs Xxxxx and on the inner envelpoe I wrote there names I get tthe response back today and its says on the accepts line 3!!!! They are bringing there daughter!!! How do I tell them that they cant bring there daughter without being rude. I cant believe they did that.

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Unfortunately, the hall stipulated in our contract that we are not allowed to have any other kids in attendance than the 3 kids in the bridal party.

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Posted by PUPADOLCE

Yes that is perfect, but no matter how nice you are, people always get offended when it comes to the kids.

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That's okay, they'll get over it.

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Posted by PUPADOLCE

Yes that is perfect, but no matter how nice you are, people always get offended when it comes to the kids.

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I know what you mean...I feel relieved when I talk to someone and they tell me they are happy that we aren't having kids...so that they can have a night of freedom.

I actually lied to two different couples and told them the hall would not allow children under the age of 10 becasue of liability (lots of balconies and fireplaces.) Then, I offered to book a babysitter close to the reception. Then, I invited them to the day after brunch in order to 'see the baby!'

The two offending parties who wanted to bring their kids were happy to have the baby stay with the sitter, and ended up partying so hard at the wedding. (Why don't people WANT a night off from their kids?!)

suven is right - it's all about how you handle it.

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Posted by Mickey3722

at our reception we are having no children except the 3 flowergirls. We invited my FI friens who lives in SC, FI grew up with him. So on the invitaion it said Mr & Mrs Xxxxx and on the inner envelpoe I wrote there names I get tthe response back today and its says on the accepts line 3!!!! They are bringing there daughter!!! How do I tell them that they cant bring there daughter without being rude. I cant believe they did that.

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In general I think it's rude for people to just add guests to an invitation. In light of how much it costs to throw a wedding, it is really presumptious. But, honestly, I don't think it's your job to talk to FI's friend. I think your FI should tell his friend that no children are invited to your wedding. Do not be the bad guy here this is not your problem.

Good luck!!

We are not having children under 16, only the 3 that are in our wedding party because there are so many on his side and we don't have the room. It just happens that I have one cousin under who is 11 and can't be invited. I don't even know if my uncle(Godfather) and aunt will come! They weren't going to come to my sisters wedding last year because he wasn't invited, and it turned into a whole huge family thing so she ended up inviting him. We can't do that so I wrote them a personal letter explaining why and telling them how bad i felt(I really do feel bad about it) I still haven't gotten their response back, and our response deadline is on the 11th, they are waiting until the last possible minute! Everyday I'm just waiting to see, it's driving me crazy!!!

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Posted by boobobunny

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Posted by PUPADOLCE

Yes that is perfect, but no matter how nice you are, people always get offended when it comes to the kids.

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I know what you mean...I feel relieved when I talk to someone and they tell me they are happy that we aren't having kids...so that they can have a night of freedom.

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We had both. We had a bunch of people that were thrilled to have an excuse for a night out, but then others were so offended they did not come. Fortunately, those who were so offended were not people that we were so upset that they did not come.