Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

Ok, here we go with today's issues. I decided not to change my name but I am still teetering on whether or not to hyphenate!!!! I have heard pros and cons on doing this. Of course my mom would 'totally lose all respect for me' if I change my name but I am learning to move on and cut the umbilical cord (some serious issues here I know). But forget her, what are the practical reasons why not to or to hyphenate your name???

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

Several people I work with now wish they'd changed their name. They said in the begining they liked being Suzy Smith-Jones, but it's grown tiresome after 5+ years.

A few told me it mainly has to do with the fact that they now have children, they want the same last name as them.

But one told me it's b/c it's a mouthful to get out when she answers the phone and a pain to sign her name.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

Honestly I do not think there are any negatives to hyphenating. It is probably the ultimate compromise.

I wouldn't mind doing it, however my fi is very adamant about taking his name so I will be changing mine. It is going to be a huge adjustment, though as I am so used to my own name, but I will make my guy happy on this one, since he pretty much is letting me run this whole show.

As long as you and your FI are happy with this decision go for it.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

I have my name hyphenated now. Long story but I legally changed it to be that way. Doesn't bother me at all and I plan on doing the same thing when I get married.

I say do what you feel is best for you.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

If you have 2 long names it could be ANNOYING to write. Mine would be 17 letters I'll just change my name

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

Technically, if you hyphenate, you're creating a new name. Not a big deal except that banks, Social Security, life ins. etc. ie legal stuff, needs to be checked into carefully. You have to make sure that you know the procedure for signing, etc. Someone recommended to me once that you take both names, but don't hyphenate them so that your paperwork still stays intact. ie Smith Wallace instead of Smith-Wallace.

Hope I explained this ok

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

I hypenated my name. I have to use the 'new' name if I sign a mortgage or deed but as long as I am not trying to defraud anyone I can still use my 'old' last name for most stuff. I am not running around changing my name everywhere. At work I am still the same name, no changes. At some point I will change my health insurance, SS, banks and DMV but for now I don't worry about it at all.

editted to say- when your FH forces you to change your name even though you don't want to what does that say about how he will treat other decisions? Ask him if he would change his name to yours. I bet he would say No. So why is it okay to tell a women that she has to change her name. It should be YOUR decision- It's YOUR name.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

Michele, is it a problem traveling if my license and forms of ID are in my maiden name and I decide to hyphenate? Would I have a problem on my honeymoon? Thanks

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

ABC I don't think you would have a problem b/c I never have. My SS has the first last name, license has both, by the legal system its both, work its the last name, but for payroll and health insurance its the first. I have a lot of aka's though. I get junk mail with a mixture of different lasst names. Oh and my passport had my old last name when I was going to Ecuador. Those j*** in the airport didn't make a fuss about it. My ticket had the new last name. After I got back I got the last name changed.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

cw are you an attorney? You said by the legal system it is both. I am an attorney. I am dreading all of the changes I would have to make.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

I have a hyphenated first name and i can say from my experience that it was a pain when filling out ANY standardized forms which do not allow for the hyphen. I would never hyphenate my last name for this very reason.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

I am not an attorney. Hope to be someday...
I had my name legally changed by the Nassau County Courthouse in Mineola. I am not sure what courthouse (i.e. family, civil, federal-making up names here)it is but I had to go there to get a seal and all these other requirements I had to do. So when I filled out the paper work, I wrote Smith-Jones. And when I get jury duty surveys, which is every year it is under both names.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

abc7077 -I saw that you are an attorney will you tell me what you find out about the name change. I will be graduating from law school this May.
Thanks!

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

I'm doing what Christmasbride said. I'm just adding his last name to the back of mine. That way I could use mine for now, and his when we have little ones

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

I know about the name change. I just don't know if I want to do it. You have to petition to the court and fill out some papers and MUST practice on whatever name is your LEGAL name. So there is no chance that you can change your name and just use your maiden name at work. You would have to use your new name.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

one more thing.... It was recommended to me by the partners at my firm that I should really think about this carefully. Because one of the attorneys took her husband's name right out of law school and then they divorced. Because all of her clients new her by his name she was not allowed to change her name back because the firm frowned on it because she had built up such a big practice under her name. Now each time she signs documents she has to use his name. Not that I think any of us will divorce but it is something to think about for the future.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

Yikes! That is a difficult situation. Whatever you decide I am sure it will be the best decision.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

When you go on your honeymoon make sure that your airline tickets are in your MAIDEN name!!! That goes for ALL brides- changing name or not. You will NOT have any ID for your new name the day or two after your wedding. Your airline tickets MUST match your passport and/or DMV license. Most travel agents should tell you that but make sure yourself. Don't take a chance.
And if and when you change your DMV records, make sure you change your passport too. Those items need to match if you travel a lot.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

Great point Michelle, I had almost forgotten about that. I am going on a trip and my passport is still in my maiden name and my travel agent printed up my documents with my new name. Good thing I was thorrough.

Re: Tell me what the negatives are for hyphenating your name

pushed it up, theres already a post.