Tempted to cancel the wedding

Tempted to cancel the wedding

I have less than 100 days to go and I am tempted to cancel the wedding.

I can't take it much longer. FH and I have been fighting on average about once every 2 weeks since we've been engaged over stupid things. Mainly pertaining to the wedding.

There are things that he does that turn me off, and I have told him repeatedly that it annoys me, and yet he still does these things EVERY DAY. I told him that to me it shows a lack of respect, because it's like he doesn't respect my wishes or care about my feelings when he does these things.

One thing that has bugged me is occasionally he sort of makes fun of my family. I always yell at him for that, because I would never do that to him. And he is always stand offish with his family. I don't know why. You know what they say about you can tell how a man will treat his woman by how he treats his mother? If I had to go by that, I will be very disappointed.

There are someways we need to both grow up, but I feel like I am dealing with a child more often than not. I know he didn't have much experience when we met, but even in the bedroom it's like I'm dealing with an immature teenager.

I really shouldn't bash him this much, but I need to state where I am coming from. He has been there for me, and he has covered my azz in more ways than one. He has gone above and beyond for me. But I think even my parents sense something is wrong, because they asked me a few days ago if I was doing this because I'm afraid I may never find someone else willing to propose to me. I was actually offended by that because it was never an issue.

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sitting here fighting back tears at my desk. I feel like the last few months have been a blur because of all the planning, so I have put all of this on the backburner. I have to have a serious talk with him tonight or I have to pack my bags. Counseling is not an option, because he would never go for it.

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

You have to do what is in your heart, nobody can tell you what to do. And Oprah always says doubt means no. Good luck with your decision.

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

you need to have a serious talk with your FH!! and the sooner the better.

I'm really sorry you're going through this, but better to find out now than later

good luck!!!

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

First off, I am very sorry you are going through this.
I think you need to think about what is important. You say that there are a lot of things that annoy you about him- like what kinds of things? Sometimes we just have to live with our SO's annoying habits.
HOWEVER this issue with him disrespecting your family (and it sounds like his too) I think is a serious issue. Does he disrespect you?
Does he understand how much he hurts you when he does this?
What do you mean by you both have to 'grow up'? Maybe if this is the case, you should postpone the wedding and so that you can 'grow up'... If you think you or him are not ready for marriage, then honestly, you shouldn't get married.
As for the bedroom stuff, well I am not sure what you mean by 'immature teenager.'
I think that counseling is a good option for the two of you, and to say he wouldn't be willing is not acceptable. If you tell him that it means your relationship, then maybe he will reconsider. And if he doesn't, well then I don't know what to say.
for you

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

Talk to your FH ASAP. I think that if you feel like he disrespects you and your family, that it needs to be addressed.

Marriage is not a panacea - whatever problems you had before will only be magnified once you are married. I say this because of this line:
You know what they say about you can tell how a man will treat his woman by how he treats his mother? If I had to go by that, I will be very disappointed.

I wish you the best. Please do what's right for you.

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

I sent u FM

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

Im am so sorry your going through this.....but before my FH i dated someone who i thought i would marry but he was the same a great guy.....but very immature towards the end i felt like we were more like brother and sister...the way he picked on me...when i decided in my head to leave i felt so overwhelmed by the thought of having to date again.....but once you make that inittial step you'll be fine...remember its never to late to back out you do whats best for you.....really think it over.......think how you deserve to be treated...are you being treated that way? good luck

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

you have FM!

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

Are you two really young? it just seems like there's so much talk of growing up and immaturity. Maybe you're both just not ready. Nothing you mentioned seems like such a huge huge major thing, but added up it can be a lot. Maybe you have cold feet, but maybe you're just not ready. I noticed from your profile that you have a relatively short engagement, maybe you need to just stretch it out a little more. When FH and I gt engaged we were 21, and we;ve been engaged for over 2 years, In those 2 years we've had a lot of time to assimilate the idea of being married and grow closer and discuss and understand the demands of marriage. Maybe you just need more time.

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

I'm so sorry that you're going through this! Sit down and talk with him asap and figure everything out. Communication is the key, but you have to feel it in your soul to want to marry him.

Re: Tempted to cancel the wedding

MY FH and I had a lotof problems when we first moved in together adjusting and working more like a team. It took awhile and we both in the heat of a fight said, Maybe we shouldn't be doing this. But after saying that, I remembered all the great things that make him and I , us and that wasn't worth losing. I think you have to think long term because the wedding plans will stop.