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Thank you card etiquette - possibly missing gifts? I NEED HELP, PLEASE!!

Im a Pepper Posted:

Thank you card etiquette - possibly missing gifts? I NEED HELP, PLEASE!!

Girls I need help/opinions!
We're writing our thank you cards about 4 weeks after our wedding (FINALLY) and there are a few people from whom we did not receive gifts. We're absolutely shocked that we received nothing from these people (it's definitely possible and I wouldn't be upset, but it really surprises us!). They are close friends and family - one couple is even getting married in 3 months and we're going to their wedding. We truly think that we may have lost a pile of envelopes somewhere. Do we politely and graciously ask these people if they gave us a gift or just write the thank you card (thanking them for coming) without mentioning a gift? I'd be sooo embarrassed if they actually did give a gift and I didn't mention it in my thank you card. But I'm also embarrassed to ask them if they did give a gift in the first place. What should I do??

Thanks girls!
sophisticat13 Posted:

Re: Thank you card etiquette - possibly missing gifts? I NEED HELP, PLEASE!!

Sorry you;re going through this...
That's a hard topic to approach because what if they really didn't give a gift...they could be planning to (the etiquette says that guests have a year to give a gift) then it could be embarrassing...but if you believe there are missing envelopes, I would politely call (or ask someone to call for you) and say something like, 'I'm so sorry but we have reason to believe that some cards went missing at our wedding...' and then say that you arent' sure if theirs was one of them...or something like that. It's a delicate topic but I would be wondering also...
Another way to handle it is to write all your guests a TY and just write 'TY for coming to our wedding and being such an important part of our day. We are so happy that you were there to celebrate our day with us!' or something like that that doesn't mention a gift. Some ppl will think it's weird that you didn't mention it if they gave one and will ask about it...

BTW good for you for writing them so soon after your wedding...we went to a wedding last August and didn't get a TY for mos lol!!! And I myself took about 5 mos to get them all out...!
Tracey1979 Posted:

Re: Thank you card etiquette - possibly missing gifts? I NEED HELP, PLEASE!!


Posted by sophisticat13

Sorry you;re going through this...
That's a hard topic to approach because what if they really didn't give a gift...they could be planning to (the etiquette says that guests have a year to give a gift) then it could be embarrassing...but if you believe there are missing envelopes, I would politely call (or ask someone to call for you) and say something like, 'I'm so sorry but we have reason to believe that some cards went missing at our wedding...' and then say that you arent' sure if theirs was one of them...or something like that. It's a delicate topic but I would be wondering also...
Another way to handle it is to write all your guests a TY and just write 'TY for coming to our wedding and being such an important part of our day. We are so happy that you were there to celebrate our day with us!' or something like that that doesn't mention a gift. Some ppl will think it's weird that you didn't mention it if they gave one and will ask about it...

BTW good for you for writing them so soon after your wedding...we went to a wedding last August and didn't get a TY for mos lol!!! And I myself took about 5 mos to get them all out...!



is there anyone that can check on your behalf, like your mom?
JenBill61210 Posted:

Re: Thank you card etiquette - possibly missing gifts? I NEED HELP, PLEASE!!

IMO i would not say anything... if they didn't give a gift b/c they could not afford it, it could be a bit embarrassing... i would just send a note thanking them for coming..

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