thanks guys...i didn't want to keep the post up so long

I'm having 8 bridesmaids. I think lots of girls have at least 6. You could always consider Jr. Bridesmaids or making her part of the service in other important ways.

Maybe instead of a priest you could compromise and have some kind of religious officiant. I work in a Lutheran church and I know that whoever marries me, I don't want them to be overly religious, I don't like that kind of things. There are people out there who understand and just want to make your day special.

My FMIL is uber catholic and is not talking to my FH's brother who is also getting married (he's not getting married in a church, so she's mad). I hope that she doesn't cause that kind of trouble for me.

The most important thing is that you're happy. You only get to live this day once and it should be yours.

Good luck

First of all..we have the same wedding date

Second...I do not think that you should give in to her demands at all. The point of a bridesmaid is that they are very good friends and confidants to the bride. Are you close with you future sister in law (I'm guessing not since she is in the 10th grade)??. You should talk to your FSIL and not your FMIL to get her opinion and tell her you have other roles for her.

Whatever you do...do not give in...my mother in law is the same way but I know if I start giving in now...then my entire wedding will be ruined and maybe my life.

Third...Someone should make an official 'ANNOYED AT MIL THREAD'

GOOD LUCK TO YOU!!!!

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Posted by ndeokinanan
Third...Someone should make an official 'ANNOYED AT MIL THREAD'

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hehehehe

this is, just my opinion, but i would never not consider adding my brother and his sister in my BP.
They are you siblings and are important people in your lives, now and always and should be included in your big day.
I thik that at this point, if you were to ask your FSIL, it would be like putting her on the spot and she would say whatever would make you happy but i think she would, in fact be hurt to not be included in your BP. The same with your brother. While you may not be close you are going to be related by marriage and that is an important bond.
Ask yourself, is this really enough of a big deal to cause a rift and potential bad blood in the family? i don't think it is. while i agree that she should have said something to you instead of acting childish about it and going behind your back to throw a fit to your FH was wrong, being act out in different ways and there is no way to change that now.
Don't get stuck on the numbers and that 6 or 7 is too much for a BP, you do what is right for you. At the end of the day, it really is your day, but sometimes we do have to compromise to make our lives, both present and in the future to run more smoothly.

I kind of see her point about FSIL. I think this is just something brides have to do to keep the peace that day. Your life will be a lot easier if you do that. Your FMIL and FSIL will appreciate it and it won't come up again and again and again and again for all eternity.

As for the priest/non-priest issue, it's really up to you guys what kind of ceremony you're going to have. You're marrying each other and how that happens should be decided by the two of you.

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Posted by Moonmist09

this is, just my opinion, but i would never not consider adding my brother and his sister in my BP.
They are you siblings and are important people in your lives, now and always and should be included in your big day.
I thik that at this point, if you were to ask your FSIL, it would be like putting her on the spot and she would say whatever would make you happy but i think she would, in fact be hurt to not be included in your BP. The same with your brother. While you may not be close you are going to be related by marriage and that is an important bond.
Ask yourself, is this really enough of a big deal to cause a rift and potential bad blood in the family? i don't think it is. while i agree that she should have said something to you instead of acting childish about it and going behind your back to throw a fit to your FH was wrong, being act out in different ways and there is no way to change that now.
Don't get stuck on the numbers and that 6 or 7 is too much for a BP, you do what is right for you. At the end of the day, it really is your day, but sometimes we do have to compromise to make our lives, both present and in the future to run more smoothly.

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I totally agree with this. Family should be the most important thing and adding your FSIL will bring you guys closer and be a good thing. I was in my brother's wedding party and I was much younger but I felt so special that his future wife wanted to include me even though I barely knew her.

IMO it is totally up to you who is in your BP. Yes family is important and if you are close that is so sweet and special to include them but if you are not then that is just awkward and really no one else's business.

Me and FH happen to be including our siblings but that is b/c we are all tight and close in age and we know that they can financially take on being a part of the party. Your FMIL really has no right whatsoever to determine who will be in your BP. She should have said something to you at the moment she learned of your BP; she def shouldn't have run to FH and then expected to somehow determine who your BP will consist of.

If I was you I would make her a junior bridesmaid or have her do a reading (is she really going to be able to assist w/ the bachelorette & shower?) this way you appease your FMIL and still make it clear that YOU are in charge!

i would reconsider not putting siblings in the bridal party. Although you might not be close to them right now, they are about to be your family which means you will one day be close to them. Your husbands siblings will always be in your life from now on. I just feel like its 'a welcome to my family' gesture.

As for the religious ceremony. I think this is something you cant bend on at all. We are also having a non religious ceremony and having a close of our friend officiate the wedding. Both of our families are none too pleased about this. The thing is, the ceremony is the most important part of the whole day, its personal, your way of decarlring your love to each other. I don't think anyone has the right to say what the right way to do this is. As long as you and your FI stick together on this hopefully your family will come around to your plans.