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That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore _ UPDATE

October Bliss Posted:

That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore _ UPDATE

I have soooo had it. After a completely miserable last hour of the day at work I get home manage to relax and feel better.

Well, FH just hung up the phone with one of his two BM. Seems BM's wife may need surgery. Major surgery for a ruptured disc in her back. She might not make it to the wedding b/c the travel from NC might be too much for her. Said BM said he'll let us know.

I asked FH when he would be letting us know. FH has NO clue. FH didn't even bother to tell BM we must give the hall a final headcount - on WEDNESDAY!!

Hello people - this is New York. Weddings cost a small fortune. In fact, in some cases the amount spent is the equivelant of the down payment on a house (not in our case, but you get the point).

The damn RSVP date was a month ago. I realize medical problems can crop up at any time and you have to be prepared for the unexpected, but the least FH could have done is find out when her MD appointment is for so I would have some clue about when BM thinks he is getting back to us.

UPDATE:
Talked to FH about this situation this AM. Turns out BM's wife is in fact attending the NY Wedding this coming weekend. Back problems huh?!?!
Happybride2005 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

feek better
LBride Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

I know it can be frustrating, but these types of situations are going to pop and unfortunately your wedding can not be their priority right now. My sister had this happen with someone waiting on a transplant. Just give the hall a lower number by 10 people or so just to be safe, that's what my sister did and it worked out fine.

scappy123 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

So sorry, another thing you dont need, right? Unfortunately, health comes first and we have to deal with the cards we are dealt. Try to keep your chin up and hopefully he will let you know soon!!
snydl40 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

I would give your place a lower # for last minute cancellations. You can pay the day of, if everyone shows.

LandsEnd06 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

Hang in there!

kathrynlinton Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore


Posted by snydl40

I would give your place a lower # for last minute cancellations. You can pay the day of, if everyone shows.



Don't give your hall a lower number, do you want the stress of having to pay people that day? No. You don't.

I am sorry you have to deal with this, but I am sure they will let you know as soon as possible. I mean, I am sure they rather come to your wedding then have to have surgery, but sh!t happens.

Have your FH call the BM the day that the headcount is due if you don't hear from them before.
BJandDan Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

Wow, back surgery is horrible to have to deal with!!!!!!!!! for her!!!!!!!!

You can be off by one person on your day. Having to pay for one extra plate is not the end of the world!!!!
October Bliss Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore


Posted by kathrynlinton

Have your FH call the BM the day that the headcount is due if you don't hear from them before.



The headcount is due on Wednesday - as in the day after tomorrow. The big problem I have with this is that I don't believe there is anything wrong with her back. This same guy has been on again off again about his wife coming to the wedding for months! First the excuse was they had to be in NY for an October 1 wedding (that said wife is part of the BP) and couldn't afford to have the entire family at both. Then they decided the whole family would fly in on Sept 30 and stay through till our wedding. Then that changed b/c they didn't want the kid (16) to miss school for a week. Then the wife and kid just weren't going to come. Then they were coming again and were going to drive up for our wedding but fly up for the October 1 wedding.

The damn story has changed sooo many times I have just had it with this guy. If he thinks I don't remember each and every time he changed the headcount and the story that went along with it, he's just plain stupid. I know FH has told him what I do for a living. Attention to detail is critical, and there is no way I don't remember each time this guy threw out another story.

BJandDan Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore


Posted by October Bliss
The big problem I have with this is that I don't believe there is anything wrong with her back.



That is completely different then. That is really horrible of them.
Mrs.A2006 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore


Posted by BJandDan


Posted by October Bliss
The big problem I have with this is that I don't believe there is anything wrong with her back.



That is completely different then. That is really horrible of them.



I agree.... give a head count without them, if they show you can pay the day of, if not at least you will not be out money.
akaMrsT Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore


Posted by October Bliss


Posted by kathrynlinton

Have your FH call the BM the day that the headcount is due if you don't hear from them before.



The headcount is due on Wednesday - as in the day after tomorrow. The big problem I have with this is that I don't believe there is anything wrong with her back. This same guy has been on again off again about his wife coming to the wedding for months! First the excuse was they had to be in NY for an October 1 wedding (that said wife is part of the BP) and couldn't afford to have the entire family at both. Then they decided the whole family would fly in on Sept 30 and stay through till our wedding. Then that changed b/c they didn't want the kid (16) to miss school for a week. Then the wife and kid just weren't going to come. Then they were coming again and were going to drive up for our wedding but fly up for the October 1 wedding.

The damn story has changed sooo many times I have just had it with this guy. If he thinks I don't remember each and every time he changed the headcount and the story that went along with it, he's just plain stupid. I know FH has told him what I do for a living. Attention to detail is critical, and there is no way I don't remember each time this guy threw out another story.




Please don't stress over this. Count them as a NO and if they show up they will be seated wherever they fit in. Don't even waste your time trying to fit them into your seating chart.

Hopefully you will not have any no-shows but just in case, those who fail to RSVP and show up can be seat fillers for the no-shows
MrsH1156 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

debsey75 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

Darlene try to hang in there. Your big day is almost here and all this BS will soon be behind you. Since you are dealing with so many different situations, you should give your hall a lower count just to cover yourself. You can always pay for the few last minute guests they day of.
JandJ1224 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore


Posted by snydl40

I would give your place a lower # for last minute cancellations. You can pay the day of, if everyone shows.



I completely agree!!! Especially if you have people you are not sure about. I'd rather pay out more that day then pay in advance and possibly waste my money!!!
RadioLau Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

Definately leave her off the list. YOu can always add her the day of.

waterspout4 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore


Posted by snydl40

I would give your place a lower # for last minute cancellations. You can pay the day of, if everyone shows.



I was going to mention this as well. Breathe Darlene!!!!!!!! Go get a massage!!!
Tria1110 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore

I don't blame your FH... how does the conversation go? 'Oh, sorry to hear your wife might be in surgery but we have to give our headcount to the hall - we need to know if she is coming or not.' Might come off a bit insensitive....

JMHO
SweetCin704 Posted:

Re: That's It - I Can't Take it Anymore _ UPDATE

Darlene, to you. You don't need this stress so close to your big day.

I'd definitely leave her OFF your list & come that day if she decides to show, they can arrange a chair for her (if she has the nerve to say anything, we'll take care of her

You have bigger fish to fry than this.............

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