The Last thing I wanted to happen!!! UPDATE

LadyDuda81509 Posted: Aug 06, 2009 08:12 AM

The Last thing I wanted to happen!!! UPDATE

So I got a phone call from one of my out of town BMs...
apparently her and my other out of town BM hate the bridesmaid dress!! and its very unflattering, and heavy and hot!!!
so she was basically calling me to get permission to change into a more flattering, less heavy and hot dress at the reception!!!
WHAT???
like after they are announced they go change!!!

From the getgo i wanted to get a dress everyone loved!! they both live out of state so they werent able to go shopping with the rest of the girls and I. so when we found these dresses i told them both dress shops by them that sell the dress and to try it on. Neither of them did this and said they liked it go ahead and order! Now they hate it and dont wanna wear it! ughh...this is such un needed drama!!

first of all im mad that they hate it, and starting to think that everyone else secretly hates it too!!
and second of all! what ever happend to sucking it up and just doing it and not stressing out the bride a week before her wedding!!!

now im just afraid that all im going to hear that day when we are taking pictures is...'its hot' 'i wanna take this thing off'
stuff i dont care to hear on THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!

UPDATE: i emailed them and i got a respong...this is what it says: jess, it's fine. honest. i thought it would'nt hurt to ask you if we could change so i did and you weren't thrilled w/ the idea and i dont want to ruin your day, so i'll suck it up and we will wear...it's fine. don't freak out or anything like that....we will all be fine : )

I feel a little better now!! thanks girls for all your support!

Just Cindy Posted: Aug 06, 2009 08:17 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

Dont let them ruin your day cause they dont like the dress. if they really didnt like it they should have said something and they should suck it up for the couple of hours that they will be wearing it.

FutureMrsM Posted: Aug 06, 2009 08:29 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

That's ridiculous! F them! Tell them you gave them every opportunity to let you know if they liked the dress or not, they said they did, now they have to suck it up. You know, the whole 'speak now or forever hold your peace' thing, too bad for them. I would not let anyone change out of the dress.

JennyAPH Posted: Aug 06, 2009 08:33 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

I think its plain rude... just suck it up and wear it... its not their day its yours..I would tell them exactly what you said

'From the getgo i wanted to get a dress everyone loved!! they both live out of state so they werent able to go shopping with the rest of the girls and I. so when we found these dresses i told them both dress shops by them that sell the dress and to try it on. Neither of them did this and said they liked it go ahead and order! Now they hate it and dont wanna wear it! ughh...this is such un needed drama!! '

and tell them you would appreciate if they would just wear it.

he gives me butterflies Posted: Aug 06, 2009 08:35 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

i actually dont think that them changing is a bad idea. most gowns are uncomfortable. i would give the other girls the option as well. no one will notice, they will blend in with the crowd more. i hate being a bridesmaid b/c of the dresses. i dont like looking back at the pics b/c i feel frumppy (obviously thats my opinion, and i dont know what you dresses look like) dont let it ruin your day

he gives me butterflies Posted: Aug 06, 2009 08:38 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

WOW i cant believe i am the only one who doesnt see it as a bad thing. i mean they already paid for their dresses and will wear them until pictures are done. most pics at the reception are going to be of the bride and groom. sometimes you see the bridemaids in the background but thats no biggie (they'll look better in reg dresses b/c they wont stand out as much).

PROBM Posted: Aug 06, 2009 08:51 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

i dont think its a big deal if they change dresses but i dont think they should have told you and got you upset right before the wedding. If i were you I would send them an email and say ' I understand if you want to change dresses if you are hot , and have a good day' and then drop it and dont talk about it no reason to get yourself upset.lots of hugs your way ... ps next time they have something important going on stress them out right before the event with this type of call :) payback is biaatch lol jk

MrsGRod09 Posted: Aug 06, 2009 09:12 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

Oyy why do ppl always pull this kind of crap. So not right why can't they just wear the dresses and be happy you gave them an opportunity to wear whatever dress they wanted.

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Aug 06, 2009 09:27 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

Posted by Just Cindy

Dont let them ruin your day cause they dont like the dress. if they really didnt like it they should have said something and they should suck it up for the couple of hours that they will be wearing it.

I completely agree! It was their fault they were too lazy to try it on. I'd absolutely make them wear it the whole time as punishment

cedesnyc Posted: Aug 06, 2009 09:36 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

oh wow....that's a bit inconsiderate on your bm's part. I remember years ago i was a bridesmaid in a wedding and i hated the dress....BIG TIME. when we went shopping for the dress i said that i didn't like it but I still had to wear it.

I knew that it was not all about me and i had to do this for my friend and the last thing i wanted to do is give her grief over this. This is what she wanted us to wear then so be it. I had thoughts about taking off the dress after the intro but since no one was doing it, i wasn't going to be the first to ask nor the one to do it.

You just don't stress the bride about stuff like that!!!
they agree to it...that's it!!!!. But if they want to change way into the reception, as long as you know about it ahead of time, then i don't see it being a big issue. Unless you don't want them to.

kmiller Posted: Aug 06, 2009 09:51 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

Honestly, that is completely unreal that they would even consider asking you such a thing. It is one night! The fact that they would have the nerve to say that to you is so selfish. Truly, if those were my bridesmaids I would tell them that

las1 Posted: Aug 06, 2009 10:17 AM

Re: The Last thing I wanted to happen!!!

Wow that was kind of rude of them to tell you. Sorry you are going through this. They should have gone dress shopping or looked up the dress on line. My friends were in weddings and their BM dress were not that nice but they did not complain to the bride. They delt with it.