The Oracle of Starbucks

Fellow starbucks drinkers - what are you??
I'm a Psuedo-Intellectual......... Totally NOT me at all - but it's still fun!

Here's what mine says:

You're liberal and consider yourself to be laid back and open minded. Everyone else just thinks you're clueless. Your friends hate you because you always email them virus warnings and chain letters 'just in case it's true.' All people who drink grande skim chai latte are potheads.


Oracle of Starbucks

Personality type: High Maintenance

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars



Thats totally not true! Not bossy or arrogant at all But Im sure atleast 2 friends are plotting to kill me... whacha gunna do? Life's a b!tch, & it's a jealous one

Personality type: Lame

You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like 'friggin'' and 'oh, crumb!' Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks Grande Light Coffee Frappuccino.

Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home



All because I'm trying to save some calories!!!

If you heard my mouth you'd realize I haven't used a fake curse word since I was 10.... it's real or nothing baby!!

Personality type: Hippie

In addition to being a hippie, you are a hypochondriac health nut. You secretly think that your insistence on only consuming all-natural products is because you're so intelligent and well-informed; it's actually because you're a sucker. You've dabbled in Wicca or other pseudo-religions that attract morons and have changed your sexual orientation a few times this year. You probably live in California. Everyone who drinks venti soy vanilla latte should be forced to eat a McDonald's bacon cheeseburger.

Also drinks: Beverages with lots of marketing that says they're herbal and organic
Can also be found at: Whole Foods, indoor rock climbing facilities



HAHAHAHAHA tooooo funny!!!!!

this is for tall coffee....

Personality type: Lame

You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like 'friggin'' and 'oh, crumb!' Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks tall coffee.

Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home

hey! it says im high maintenance too!

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Posted by kgs11

hey! it says im high maintenance too!

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Me too

Personality type: Lame

You're a simple person with modest tastes and a reasonable lifestyle. In other words, you're boring. Going to Starbucks makes you feel sophisticated; you'd like to be snooty and order an espresso but aren't sure if you're ready for that level of excitement. People laugh at you because you use fake curse words like 'friggin'' and 'oh, crumb!' Everyone who thinks America's Funniest Home Videos is a great show drinks grande green tea frappuchino.

Also drinks: V8
Can also be found: On the couch at home

just because i drink the green tea frappuchino!!



i am not lame!!!

Personality type: High Maintenance

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars



Yeah, pretty on (for the most part!) But I like my venti iced latte with sugar free cinnamon dolce syrup!!! Wait, actually this sounds more like other people I know!!!!

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Posted by MrsBartonToBe



Personality type: High Maintenance

You pride yourself on being assertive and direct; everyone else thinks you're bossy and arrogant. You're constantly running your mouth about topics that only you would find interesting. Your capacity for wasting other people's time is limitless. Your friends find you intolerable, that's why they're plotting to kill you.

Also drinks: Water. Bottled, chilled, with four ice cubes, a twist of lemon, in a crystal glass.
Can also be found at: Trendy martini bars

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That's my description too...but it is totally me!! How do my FH and buddies put up with me??

It says I'm high maintenance!!!!

I swear starbucks is the most complicated thing about me!!!!!

Personality type: Clueless

You don't go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don't know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink venti caramel machiato are strippers.

Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall

I haven't had a wine coller since high school.

Oh nooo Mines the worst haaaaa

Personality type: A$$-clown

You tell people that you're an executive at your company. You think that your repeated references to being 'addicted' to caffeine make you seem intriguing and dangerous. People think you're a sucker because you spend 60% of your annual income at Starbucks. Everyone who drinks iced venti iced coffee ends up addicted to crack.

So sad So sad

Mine is soooo not true!


Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Asshat

You carry around philosophy books you haven't read and wear trendy wire-rimmed glasses even though you have perfect vision. You've probably added an accent to your name or changed the pronunciation to seem sophisticated. You hang out in coffee shops because you don't have a job because you got your degree in French Poetry. People who drink Grande Iced Americano are notorious for spouting off angry, liberal opinions about issues they don't understand.

Also drinks: Any drink with a foreign name
Can also be found at: The other, locally owned coffee shop you claim to like better