The $$$ rant - sorry it's long!

I want to kill FH right now! I swear I am just ready to murder him!

We have a joint savings account that we both put $$ into every pay period. He gets paid every week, I get paid every 2. He asks me every week if I have money for him to put in the bank. You would think he would remember that if I got paid last week, I don't get paid again for another week, but I have to constantly tell him that.

So, I make way more than he does. He basically banks his entire salary (we're trying to buy a house) and I pay everything else. So far, I have been the person putting all the deposits down for the wedding, etc. For example, I put the deposit on the HM today.

Tonight's argument: he asks if I am giving him $$ to deposit. I write a check for him to deposit tomorrow. Then he says 'are you putting $ into your savings account too?' I say, not this week - I put the deposit down on the HM AND paid for all YOUR family's Christmas gifts. He says, 'well you'd better save as much as you can, because I don't want to touch my savings (which is for the house) or the credit union account (that's our joint account) for anything. I say I can't pay for this whole thing AND support us myself so we're going to have to raid the joint account for the wedding. He tells me we're not touching it for anything and I just should stop spending.

Sure, I'll stop spending! I'll cancel cable so he can't watch TV AND stop buying all the food so he has nothing to eat! It's not like I'm out buying myself stuff.

Anyone else going through this?

I hate the money fights!!

Are you the one who handles the money, or is he?
Do you sit with him and show him every penny that you spend and vice versa? Maybe he really doesn't understand HOW much of your salary goes to things that you NEED, and things that you both want. Maybe there are things that he's spending money on that he can cut off too. My advice: take a night and sit down, and go over all the expenses together! and don't fight about it the night that you sit down, because that won't help anything. Make it a positive night. and then plan to sit down at least every month or so to go over financial stuff. Believe me, once you do this, it will be a breeze when you're a homeowner and have tons of other bills and expenses.

Fortunately, we're still separate in terms of accounts, and do not live together, so we don't have this issue YET. I'm sure sorry you're going through it though!

omg how does he expect you to save all your money while your check is helping yall live? he needs a reality check

We each have separate accounts and then a joint account together. It was my apt. from before we met, so he thought since I was able to support myself here and still save $$ that it wouldn't be a big deal if I'm not supporting the 2 of us and still continuing to save.

It really isn't that much of a strain, but if I'm saving $$ right now, I'm saving it for the wedding - not for retirement!!! What is he thinking - let's not touch our savings! He's an idiot! I thought the joint account was for the wedding - not 'just to have'

I really hate him tonight.

We agreed that we were going to have a 'budget' meeting tomorrow night - that is if I don't murder him in his sleep!

Yes - and that's what is making me so mad. We put all our engagement gifts in there, plus any extra bonuses I get from work, etc., with the understanding that it was for the wedding. So here I am thinking we have 10 months to go and we only need about another $3,000 to pay everything off when he isn't looking at it that way.

I love that he's a saver and takes it so seriously, but I he's not being realistic about what the day to day expenses are for the 2 of us and then to throw a wedding into the mix.....

I don't mean to be whiney. We are in really good shape financially, but I feel like I don't want to put any more $$ into the joint account unless it's for the wedding. We both have money in our separate savings accounts for the house downpayment and closing costs (now all we have to do is find a house we like) and since we've both had such long work histories we have more than most couples getting married, but I'm so angry that he said that to me tonight like it's no big deal if ALL of my salary gets spent and none of his.

You are not alone... I am going through this as well. We both have our own checking accounts and a joint savings account which I added a couple thousand to and he added less and is falling short paying his bills, soooooooo he has been starting to pull money from our joint account which was NOT supposed to be touched unless emergencies... well lets just say lately, these so called 'emergencies' are occurring more often. It is very frustrating!!!! It's really hard... b/c I am finding myself stressed out at times- esp when I think not only do I have to pay for a wedding, I have to pay for my bills, now worry about your bills, and pay off my school loans and I dont even make a ton of money

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Posted by xosweetiexo

You are not alone... I am going through this as well. We both have our own checking accounts and a joint savings account which I added a couple thousand to and he added less and is falling short paying his bills, soooooooo he has been starting to pull money from our joint account which was NOT supposed to be touched unless emergencies... well lets just say lately, these so called 'emergencies' are occurring more often. It is very frustrating!!!! It's really hard... b/c I am finding myself stressed out at times- esp when I think not only do I have to pay for a wedding, I have to pay for my bills, now worry about your bills, and pay off my school loans and I dont even make a ton of money

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It's like they don't even think of these things and the big wedding was HIS idea!

I should have known that FH was going to be a tightwad. This is a true story - he bought my engagement ring with change he had saved over the years. No joke! He went to the bank, cashed in his water bottles (4 of 'em) filled with nothing but quarters and that's how he paid for my e-ring!

well that is actually amazing that he bought your ring that way!!
does he realize how much the wedding is costing?

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Posted by geegee827

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Posted by xosweetiexo

You are not alone... I am going through this as well. We both have our own checking accounts and a joint savings account which I added a couple thousand to and he added less and is falling short paying his bills, soooooooo he has been starting to pull money from our joint account which was NOT supposed to be touched unless emergencies... well lets just say lately, these so called 'emergencies' are occurring more often. It is very frustrating!!!! It's really hard... b/c I am finding myself stressed out at times- esp when I think not only do I have to pay for a wedding, I have to pay for my bills, now worry about your bills, and pay off my school loans and I dont even make a ton of money

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It's like they don't even think of these things and the big wedding was HIS idea!

I should have known that FH was going to be a tightwad. This is a true story - he bought my engagement ring with change he had saved over the years. No joke! He went to the bank, cashed in his water bottles (4 of 'em) filled with nothing but quarters and that's how he paid for my e-ring!

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WOW all change?!?! Omg how long did it take him to save up? What is he spending his money on... just random things? Or is he just being tight when it comes to spending money on your wedding? FH used to spend crazy money on things that were useless and dvds, etc. Now that he doesnt make as much, he is watching what he is spending bc he doesnt really have it.

He knows exactly what the wedding is costing - he's come to every vendor meeting with me and has everything calculated to the penny! I think he just isn't feeling the pressure like I am because he's not the one putting down all the money.

I told him I'm not marrying him to be his sugar mama! The sick part is that even though I may a lot more than he does, he makes a great salary - he just doesn't like to part with it - the cheapskate!!!

I've agreed to let him sleep in the bedroom tonight, but he's not allowed to touch me in any way shape or form! and we are having our 'meeting' tomorrow after work....ugg!

well, it's good that you guys are getting together tomorrow to discuss it!! Do it in a positive way though, don;'t fight about it. and come up with a plan :)
Good luck, and don't kill him!!